If We Used Shakespearean Insults Today

(Video Link)

Siobhan Thompson of BBC America's Anglophenia blog imagines insulting people using only the words of William Shakespeare. In that case, my response to the Bard is:

You taught me language; and my profit on't
Is, I know how to curse. The red plague rid you
For learning me your language!

You can find all of her references with links to the full text of the plays here.