Friday, November 6, 2015

Opening of All-Decaf Coffee Shop Met with Horror, Outrage

Swiss Water is a company that, in 1933, developed a means to remove 99.9% of caffeine from coffee beans and 100% of joy from life. Taking pride in his unholy achievement, the company has opened a pop-up "coffee" house in Manhattan. In the midst of the moral decay of American civilization, customers to the Art of Coffee Without Caffeine can partake of the product until November 8, provided that the upstanding people of New York City do not put a stop to this deviancy before then.

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