Sunday, April 10, 2016

Florida Men Kill What May or May Not Have Been a Dinosaur

Florida Man Lee Lightsey and fellow Florida Man Blake Godwin claimed they killed an 800-pound alligator that had been gleefully leaving mutilated cow parts all over the place. Just like that.
"It was a monster that needed to be removed," Lightsey told the BBC, like a perfectly normal human being, and not at all like a ruthless killing machine planted by Skynet or Vladimir Putin.
The pair played coy, giving no rational explanation as to how they actually killed the 15-foot Cloverfield extra beyond claiming Lightsey "shot" it, merely mentioning they had to drag it home in a tractor with an air of nonchalance.
Being the Dana Scully acolytes and Florida Man connoisseurs we are, we've compiled a list of 10 irresponsibly speculative conspiracy theories as to how this Leviathan really died, based on a careful analysis of past

No comments:

Post a Comment