Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Monday, July 16, 2007

Dubious Honor

The Philadelphia Phillies have the distinct yet dubious honor of being the first inductee into the 10,000 Losses Club having lost their 10,000th game this past Sunday.
It only took them 125 years to do it, but they did it!
Baseball will never be the same.

U.S. Censors "Teenie Weenie"

When German children's book author Rotraut Susanne Berner received a call from her American agent saying her latest in the international awarding "Wimmelbucher" series was to be published in the states she was elated.

But she quickly lost her "high" when her agent told her there had to be some changes for it to be published in America ... it had already been published in 13 countries around the world unchanged.

So what was the reason for the changes?

Well it seems her hand drawn illustrations of both children and adults in an art museum looking at the art - which included a nude of a woman - was unacceptable for American audiences. See the illustration below to see what had the American Censors so up in arms about.



Now that is horrid, horrid I tell you!




But what was the "real" kicker was this illustration of a women viewing a small statue of a man and if you look extremely close you can see a pimple sized bulge that is his penis showing.
Check out this illustration (actual sized) and see what you think!(Magnifying glass not included)

Don't know about you but some have WAAAAAYYYYYY too much time on their hands!

Obscure Holidays and Celebrations

Today is
"National Get Out of the Doghouse Day".

That means, Ladies you have to forget and forgive any transgressions that many have placed the men in your lives in the doghouse and let them out of it.

And I Quote

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias.

~ Steven Colbert

And you wonder why Reality has no bearing on the neo-cons?!

Seamus and Angus

As promised here is a story about my Black Labs Seamus "Thunder" Mac Lesh and Angus Mac Dougall. Two of the biggest hounds you'll ever run across because they are loved, well fed and exercised all the time. Both are over 100 pounds of solid canine sinew (Labs usually run about 65 pounds), and both are positive they are lap dogs, if not human - and I tell you when they both insist on sitting on your lap they are quite a load! They both are lovers and very friendly as well - charging up to every one they see to jump up and kiss them - though the sight of either one charging up to you is disconcerting to say the least - for the first time.

"Thunder" is the elder and he has taught Angus well and they don't meet anyone they don't like (at least as of now). However, a few years back before Angus' arrival, "Thunder" had a serious dislike for an old Harridan that lived next to us (she disliked nudity so much she tried to get the local government to require clothes for animals), but with her epiphany and conversion to being a nudist he now loves her almost as much as he loves me and the Mrs.

But, now the story:

We live in a rural area close to a large city and one night what little nighttime "light" we had from the few street lights and backyard pole lights were out due to downed power lines from the just passed whopper of a thunderstorm and the normal bright moon and star lit night sky was jet black covered with clouds. Perfect conditions for the thieves that had been targeting the area stealing lawn mowers, power tools, etc., for a few weeks, and they were out doing their thing.
The cops had a tip and were out as well but were having no luck in locating them. They would have been able to slip away unscathed, except ...

They met Seamus and Angus in the pitch black as they attempted to conduct their business at our home. Now those two loving dogs made Cujo look like the most loving canine there ever was that night and "escorted" the thieves to the police and their welcoming arms, where they turned into the most adorable "puppies" in the world playing with the cops, yelping with glee and getting their heads scratched behind the ears.
Which astonished the thieves who swore to the officers that all the heard was a low rumbling growl from two hellbeasts and all the saw was two sets of glowing red eyes and glistening white teeth and no 'body' surrounding them - like it really was two beasts from hell appearing as disembodied shadow and horror that though formless could rend your body and soul to shreds, as they ran screaming into the cops' arms (with a few stolen items that they hadn't dropped still in their hands) ... and all three had damp spots marking their pants fore and aft as well.

Seamus and Angus are now "honorary" policemen and have each received a medal and commendation for their work that night and are just, if not more so, as loving as before.
And those thieves must have talked to others of their ilk in the jail because we haven't had any act of lawlessness around the neighborhood since that night.

Morning Funny

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Is it because of that song?