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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Sunday, June 28, 2009

Man allegedly tried to sell woman, 4 kids

A Mexican man has been detained for allegedly plotting to sell a young woman, two girls and two boys for $2,000 apiece in the United States, police said Sunday.

Man allegedly tried to sell woman, 4 kids

Respectful ways to display the flag

Respectful ways to display the flag

Avoid inadvertently dishonoring the American flag with these handy tips.

Respectful ways to display the flag

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Dimbulb Spews

This is too funny!

Follow the hilarity of Lush Dimbulb as he spews.

He blames our president for causing Mark Sanford to have an affair. An affair that began BEFORE our president took office.

Caution: Listening to this insane turd will cause uncontrollable fits of guffaws, rib splitting gales of laughter and other hilarious spasms.

North Carolina Jade

The popular PBS series "Antiques Roadshow" set an appraisal record in Raleigh, when a collection of Chinese jade was valued at possibly more than $1 million.

Show publicist Erika Denn says the four pieces of jade from the period of 1736 to 1795 was valued at $710,000 to $1.07 million. That breaks the previous record of $500,000 set last year in Palm Springs, Calif., for a painting by abstract expressionist Clyfford Still.

An unidentified woman from eastern North Carolina owns the jade, which she brought to the show early Saturday morning.

Women Should Sing to Their Tomatoes. Guys Should Shut Up.

From Treehugger:

women plants talking photo
Photo: The Ewan via Flickr

We may live in society that stresses equality between the genders, but when it comes to gardening, women seem to have an upper larynx. According to a recent experiment by the Royal Horticultural Society in England, tomato plants grow faster when they are crooned at. The sung-to tomatoes grew two inches higher than their unserenaded counterparts. Female voices worked especially well for hasty tomato growth. Male voices, on the other hand, couldn’t make the tomatoes grow as quickly, and in some cases, low-voiced males were able to stunt the growth of the tomatoes by warbling at them. This must be why we throw rotten tomatoes at horrible singers. Wokka Wokka.

Article continues: Women Should Sing to Their Tomatoes. Guys Should Shut Up.

Faux News is at it again


Like clockwork Faux News showed Mark Sanford as a Democrat instead of the repugican that he is when the story of his affair broke after his 'mystery week' in Argentina.

When this was pointed out to the various wing-nuts and other assorted lunatics they responded in typical fashion of drooling baboons that they are, accusing all those who were pointing out the lie as un-American, the liars, etc., and soon and so forth on several forums on the web.

But the best 'calling'em like it is' I have read actually was sent to me via email from a friend. He did not name the author of this citation in his missive, but no matter, a great citation is a great citation:
For the most part, only morons watch Fox News and buy the Rightwing BS that they peddle and believe it to be fact.
There's a definite defect in the right-wing mindset.
Anyone who watches an 800 lb. ahole like Rush Limbaugh (for example) and thinks that the malarkey that he spews has any merit to it is, obviously, in serious need of neuroligical help.
Yet, these pompous imbeciles think that the problem in the U.S. is the left-wing.
Simply put, on Election Day, 2008, Intelligence voted for Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and stupidity voted for John McCain and Joe the Plumber.
Personally speaking, when given the choice between intelligence and stupidity, I always vote for intelligence.
But, getting back to the subject. Fox's audience has become as irrelevent as a pisshole in the snow.
Personally I world have used relevent in lieu of irrelevent as that denotes the relevence of a pisshole in the snow which as one knows is less than nothing. It is a great citation nonetheless.

Now, as to his hiking 'excuse': "I'm getting some Argentinian tail" sounds a lot like "I'm hiking the Appalachian trail", you know.

New clashes in Iran as standoff worsens

New clashes in Iran as standoff worsens

Witnesses say police used tear gas and clubs to break up a crowd of 3,000 protesters, and the European Union issues a harsh rebuke.

New clashes in Iran

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HOT is spelled H-O-T-T-T-T

It is 93F outside right now and 93F inside right now!

Why is it always the way ... when the hottest weather hits the Air Conditioner throws up its hands and says "I give up."

Normally this would be no big deal, we would just call or son who wanted to work with his hands and chose HVAC twenty years ago and we would have cool air in a jiffy (or heat if it was cold).

But alas, my son is on vacation (and decided to stay an extra day, tomorrow) so his mother and I are sweating off a few extra pounds and enjoying the warm circulating air from the many fans in the house. Okay, so we aren't exactly 'enjoying it', but it has brought back memories of the time when we did not have air conditioning and why Iced Tea is a Southern Favorite!

We know what you're thinking - why not call someone else? True we could, but we would have to pay them ... with our son we get to keep the grandkids for a week (which is actually more expensive come to think of it) and get to keep our money as well.

Comics creator stopped by TSA for carrying script about writer under suspicion by TSA

Continually proving what idiots they are ...

Comics writer Mark Sable was detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for carrying a script for an upcoming comic book about a writer who is detained and intensively questioned by the TSA for writing a comic about terrorism.
"Flying from Los Angeles to New York for a signing at Jim Hanley's Universe Wednesday (May 13th), I was flagged at the gate for 'extra screening'. I was subjected to not one, but two invasive searches of my person and belongings. TSA agents then 'discovered' the script for Unthinkable #3. They sat and read the script while I stood there, without any personal items, identification or ticket, which had all been confiscated.

"The minute I saw the faces of the agents, I knew I was in trouble. The first page of the Unthinkable script mentioned 9/11, terror plots, and the fact that the (fictional) world had become a police state. The TSA agents then proceeded to interrogate me, having a hard time understanding that a comic book could be about anything other than superheroes, let alone that anyone actually wrote scripts for comics.

"I cooperated politely and tried to explain to them the irony of the situation. While Unthinkable blurs the line between fiction and reality, the story is based on a real-life government think tank where a writer was tasked to design worst-case terror scenarios. The fictional story of Unthinkable unfolds when the writer's scenarios come true, and he becomes a suspect in the terrorist attacks.

"In the end, I feel my privacy is a small price to pay for educating the government about the medium."

Mayor Barred From Posting On Town Web Site

Council members in a North Carolina town barred its mayor from posting the town's newsletter on its Web site, citing what they call his negative comments.

Mayor Barred From Posting On Town Web Site

She who taught the pope of love and sex

A just-published collection of letters ruminating on love and sex that represent a half-century of correspondence between Pope John Paul II and a dear, female friend has caught the Vatican by surprise and may slow the process of sainthood for one of the most revered and beloved pontiffs in modern history.

She who taught the pope of love and sex

Children of gay couples speak out

Jesse Levey is a repugican activist who says he believes in family values, small government and his lesbian mothers' right to marry.

How many of these foods do you know?

Quiz: How many of these foods do you know?

See how many of these food words you can correctly identify.

Quiz

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TV pitchman Billy Mays found dead

TV pitchman Billy Mays found dead

The boisterous spokesman best known for hawking Orange Glo and OxiClean cleaning products was 50 years old.

TV pitchman Billy Mays found dead

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Sun leaves Earth wide open to cosmic rays

The sun periodically leaves Earth open to assaults from interstellar nasties in a way that most stars do not.

Sun leaves Earth wide open to cosmic rays

Mars may hide secret water table

Water may be hidden beneath a rocky crust on Mars (Image: (G. Neukum) Fu Berlin/DLR/ESA)

The Red Planet could have a water table hidden underground, despite satellite data suggesting otherwise.

Mars may hide secret water table

Iran opposition rejects partial recount

Iran's opposition leaders have rejected a panel set up to hold a partial recount in the disputed presidential vote as political deadlock continued to grip the Islamic republic.

Iran opposition rejects partial recount

Soldiers arrest Honduran president

Soldiers have arrested the Honduran president and taken him to an air force base just before voting was to begin on a disputed constitutional election.

Honduran president arrested

Today's Birthdays

Today's Birthdays:

Blues singer-musician David "Honeyboy" Edwards is 94.
Comedian-movie director Mel Brooks is 83.

Today's Birthdays June 28

Pakistani forces kill 11 Taliban militants

Warplanes and helicopter gunships pounded suspected militant positions in Pakistan's troubled northwest on Sunday, killing 11 Taliban fighters, intelligence officials said.

Pakistani forces kill 11 Taliban militants

My Generation

The Who (on the Smothers Brothers TV show)

Cops Find Drugs After Thwarting Daycare Robbery

Police shot and wounded an armed man during a brazen robbery attempt at a day care center that functioned as a drug haven, with a trove of marijuana and more than $100,000 in cash in its basement, authorities said Saturday.

Cops Find Drugs After Thwarting Daycare Robbery

Iran detains local British embassy staff

Authorities in Tehran have detained eight local British embassy staff, Iranian media said on Sunday, underscoring the hard-line leadership's effort to blame post-election unrest on foreign powers, not popular anger.

Iran detains local British embassy staff

Daily Almanac

Today is Sunday, June 28, the 179th day of 2009 with 186 to follow.
The moon is waxing.

The Almanac - June 28

Unusual Celebrations and Holidays

Today is Log Cabin Day.

And I Quote

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper.
Then I look at the obituary page.
If my name is not on it, I get up.

~ Benjamin Franklin

The insnane calling the sane, mentally ill

Normally we disdain from mentioning the mentally ill but when one that is clearly mentally ill - insane, actually - comes out with this horseshit we owe it to the world to expose their insanity.

Atheism is a Mental Illness, Says Creationist

Full Story

Salty Saturn moon plumes suggest oceanic life

Massive geysers on Saturn's moon Enceladus may be fed by a salty ocean beneath the surface, adding weight to speculation it harbors the essential building blocks needed for life.

Full Story

Regulators Shut Georga Bank

41st to Fail This Year

Regulators have shut down Community Bank of West Georgia, marking the 41st failure this year of a federally insured bank.


Dhaka opposition seeks probe against former caretaker government

Bangladesh's main opposition party has approached the UN seeking a probe against the previous caretaker government for alleged human rights abuses.

Dhaka opposition seeks probe

Pakistan's problems may spill over to India

Fearing that Pakistan's problems could 'easily' spill over to India, Defense Minister A K Antony yesterday asked the armed forces to be vigilant about the happenings in the neighboring country and to keep in mind that the groups Islamabad was now acting against were once considered assets by the establishment.

Full Story

Mexican soldiers capture drug suspect with apparent list of police payoffs in Monterrey area

Mexican soldiers have captured a suspected drug cartel operator with a list of the names of local police officers who apparently received payoffs, the army said Saturday.

Full Story

Gov's wife reveals how she discovered affair

Jenny Sanford recalls how her husband sought permission to visit his mistress even after she discovered his infidelity.

Gov's wife reveals how she discovered affair

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advantages of eating cereal

10 advantages of eating cereal

Here's why you can feel great about eating a bowl of cereal every morning — as long as it's made with whole grains.

10 advantages of eating cereal

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Time-tested happiness tips

Time-tested happiness tips

An ongoing study launched in 1937 shows three powerful lessons on how to live a happy life.

Time-tested happiness tips

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Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Rome, Lazio, Italy
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Pontivy, Bretagne, France
The Hague, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands
Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia
Bucharest, Bucuresti, Romania
Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Weimar, Thuringen, Germany
Toronto, Ontario, Canada

as well as Scotland, Brazil, and the United States

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Argh!
All around you, people are taking it easy, but you're sneaking off to check your work email or go to the office for an hour (which easily turns into three or four).
Yes, there are challenges in the work arena right now, and yes, you definitely feel like it'll get away from you if you let it.
However, the stars say that you could put a lot of energy in that direction and still not get a lot done.
Force yourself to relax and join the fun.

If I have to.