Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Two $1 million tickets sold at same Indiana store

Two winning Hoosier Lottery tickets worth $1 million each were sold within a couple days of each other at the same central Indiana convenience store. John Hensley and his fiancee, Vanessa Mitchell, claimed the Cash Blizzard scratch-off prize on Tuesday, but the winner in Saturday's Hoosier Lotto drawing has not come forward, lottery spokesman Andrew Reed said.

"In the 18 years I've been with the Hoosier Lottery, I can't remember another time that we've had two $1 million winners from the same (retailer) in the same weekend," Reed said.

Both tickets were bought at the Dairyland convenience store on Main Street in Plainfield, a western suburb of Indianapolis.

Lottery officials confirmed Tuesday that the $1 million Hoosier Lotto ticket, likely bought on Thursday, Friday or Saturday, matched the winning numbers drawn Saturday night - 2, 14, 31, 32, 35 and 48. The $1 million winning Cash Blizzard scratch-off ticket was sold Saturday, Reed said.

Hensley, who works at a Plainfield distribution center, said he accepted an annual payout of $36,000 for 20 years, or about $720,000 after taxes, on the $1 million prize.

"It is a lot of money, but not so much that you can stop working," he told The Indianapolis Star.

More lottery tickets, however, are not in Hensley's future.

"I'll never play again unless somebody else is buying the tickets," he said. "The reason to play is that you might hit life-changing money. I don't really have that reason to play anymore. I won't push it."

Cops arrest woman after drive-through burger order

It was a Big N' Tasty burger and one trip to jail to go for a woman suspected of DWI in St. Paul. Police said a 26-year-old woman pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru with squad car lights flashing and sirens blaring behind her. The woman had time to eat a couple of fries before police caught up to her and arrested her on suspicion of drunken driving Sunday.

The woman said says she saw the cruiser at the McDonald's, heard an officer honking the horn and figured she was getting pulled over because her driver's license was revoked. She told the St. Paul Pioneer Press in a jail interview: "I thought they were fixing to mess with me. ... I was fixing to get something to eat."

The woman said she couldn't get out of the drive-through because cars were behind and in front of her.

She's contesting the accuracy of a breath test she took.

Armed burglars demand man's eggbeater

It really must have been a special item. According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, two men entered a man's home early Sunday and demanded his eggbeater. One suspect was holding a pistol while the other brandished a knife to the resident's neck.

Police caught the men outside the home and they are being held in Orient Road Jail. One suspect also faces a charge of aggravated assault.

Police found the eggbeater in the man's left pocket.

Man plays same lottery number 11 times, wins $1.1M


A Hampton man has won the Virginia Lottery's Cash 5 top prize of $100,000, and won it, and won it. Lottery officials said the man won $1.1 million after playing the same numbers on 11 tickets for the same drawing. Each winning ticket gives the man $100,000.

Lottery officials haven't identified the man, who was scheduled to claim his winnings Tuesday afternoon at the lottery service center in Hampton.

Small earthquake rattles South Carolina coast

No damage or injuries were reported this morning in a minor earthquake near Charleston.

The quake was reported at 7:42 a.m., according to the National Earthquake Information Center at the Colorado-based U.S. Geological Survey. The center of the quake was about 10 miles east-southeast of Summerville, S.C., a Charleston suburb.

The quake was in the same area as the 1886 Charleston earthquake which killed more than 100 people and did $103 million damage (at today's prices).

Residents of the Charleston area reported feeling the earthquake this morning, but there were no reports of damage.

Daily Funny

A true story from the MountIsa in Queensland.

Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighborhood pub.
Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights.

He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road.

The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a random breathalyser test.

To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's intoxication.

The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"

Question and Answer

Q. How does a Brazilian woman turn a man into a millionaire?
A. She first meets him when he is a billionaire

Confucius says ...

Work to become, not to acquire.

~ Confucius

Store won't put child's name on cake

Heath and Deborah Campbell of Greenwich, Pennsylvania are angry that the ShopRite supermarket refused to spell out their 3-year-old son's name in frosting on his birthday cake.

His name is Adolph Hitler Campbell. Poor kid. An area Wal-Mart later agreed to decorate the cake. Others who read the story in a local paper were apparently upset with Heath Campbell about choosing that name for his child. That made him even angrier.

From the Associated Press:

"There's a new president and he says it's time for a change; well, then it's time for a change," the 35-year-old continued. "They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did...."

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated...

He said he was raised not to avoid people of other races but not to mix with them socially or romantically. But he said he would try to raise his children differently.

Truths in Life

There is only a certain number of truths in Life and this is one of them ...

... If you want to live like a republican - Vote Democrat!

Best in Bathroom Reading

10. Archie comics
Simple, straightforward and escapist literature for the not too serious bathroom sessions.

9. Through Different Eyes
An excellent book of Poetry that allows you to see the world 'through different eyes'.

8. TV Guide
Take a highlighter in there with you and plan your entire TV schedule in one sitting.

7. Chicken Soup for the Soul
A book with lots of short stories about overcoming life's obstacles and challenges.

6. Daily newspaper
If you have time to read the newspaper, then it could be a great source of information. Unfortunately, many of us just cannot find the time to check out the day's headlines. Solution: just leave it in the think-tank and you'll end up reading it.

5.The Ultimate Bathroom Reader
The title says it all.

4. Business Magazines
OK, it's pretty obvious that big business does this so why not you.

3. Dictionary / Encyclopedia
If you want to increase your brain power this is it.

2. Playboy
Don't deny it. Even the ladies keep this one in their bathrooms.

1. Guinness Book of World Records
If you think this is a joke try one of those 'serious' bathroom sessions without it.

Greatest Rock Guitar Solos

Check out the rest of the list of the greatest rock guitar solos here.


Got any old shoes ...


Got a pair of old shoes laying about the house? Want to be shed of them?


As a sign of your "respect and admiration", please feel free to send your old shoes to;

George W. Bush Presidential Library
c/o SMU
6425 Boaz Lane
Dallas TX 75205

Australia OKs Facebook for serving lien notice

From the "This is wrong and dangerous" Department:

You've been served.

A court in Australia has approved the use of Facebook, a popular social networking Web site, to notify a couple that they lost their home after defaulting on a loan.
The Australian Capital Territory Supreme Court last Friday approved lawyer Mark McCormack's application to use Facebook to serve the legally binding documents after several failed attempts to contact the couple at the house and by e-mail.

Australian courts have given permission in the past for people to be served via e-mail and text messages when it was not possible to serve them in person.

McCormack, a lawyer for the lender the couple borrowed from, said that by the time he got the documents approved by the court late Tuesday for transmission, Facebook profiles for the couple had disappeared from public view.
The page was apparently either closed or secured for privacy, following publicity about the court order.

"It's somewhat novel, however we do see it as a valid method of bringing the matter to the attention of the defendant," McCormack said.
Despite the setback, McCormack said the Facebook attempt would help his client's case that all reasonable steps had been taken to serve the couple.
A court is expected to settle the matter as early as next week.

A Queensland state District Court judge ruled in April against documents being served by Facebook because the option of contacting a person via a post office box had not yet been exhausted.
In the latest ruling, Master David Harper insisted that the documents be attached to a private e-mail sent via Facebook that could not be seen by others visiting the pages.
McCormack said he and a colleague found the woman's Facebook page using personal details that she had given the lender including her birth date and e-mail address.
The man was listed on her page as a friend.
Prior to Tuesday, neither had imposed security options that deny strangers access to their pages.

McCormack said he did not bother searching for the couple through any other social networking sites.
"It's one of those occasions where you feel most at home with what you know and I myself have a Facebook account," McCormack said.

*****

This is so wrong on so many levels. And open to misuse and outright abuse by those seeking to harass, threaten and intimidate someone and claim they are just 'notifying' them of legal proceedings.
There are already flagrant violators of the 'Do Not Call' rule here in the USA claiming to have a 'prior relationship' with the person they are harassing with incessant phone calls to solicit something ... imagine the crap they'd be pulling if this egregious error by the Australian courts made was allowed here.

100 arrested in raids to thwart Mafia regrouping

Italian police backed by helicopters arrested almost 100 suspected mobsters Tuesday and thwarted a plan by the hobbled Sicilian Mafia to reconstitute itself and form a new ruling commission to set strategy, authorities said.

Carabinieri police in Palermo said the operation there and in other Sicilian cities was one of the largest in recent years and gave investigators a picture of the new highest echelons of the Mafia.
It also prevented possible bloodshed as bosses vied to control the commission.

The raids involved 1,200 police officers and helicopters.
They targeted the bosses of local families and lower-level mobsters intent on setting up the commission, which was to make Cosa Nostra's important decisions such as possible attacks, police said.Salvatore

"Toto" Riina, the boss of bosses, famously headed such a commission, known as the "cupola," until his arrest in 1993.
The commission decided to carry out a strategy of all-out attack against the state that culminated with the back-to-back slayings of top anti-Mafia fighters Giovanni Falcone and Paolo Borsellino in 1992.
The Mafia's hierarchy has been trying to overcome disarray in its ranks since Riina's successor, Bernardo Provenzano, was arrested in April 2006 and Provenzano's closest aides two months later.

"If that operation ... brought Cosa Nostra down to its knees, this prevented it from getting up again," Pietro Grasso, the national anti-Mafia prosecutor, said Tuesday.
The operation - called Perseus, after the Greek mythological hero who beheaded Medusa - "severed all the strategically important heads of a new ruling structure that had to deliberate, as it once did, on all serious acts," Grasso said.

The current attempt to restore the commission was masterminded by a suspected mobster, Matteo Messina Denaro, who is among a handful of people vying to replace Provenzano, police said.
Messina Denaro is seen by investigators as a top candidate for the job after his main competitors were arrested.
He remains at large.

Charges for those arrested Tuesday include Mafia association, extortion, arms and drug trafficking, the Carabinieri said in a statement.

Dear Mister Fantasy


Traffic: Live 1972

Man accused of stealing fridge with urine samples

Gainesville, Florida authorities say a man was arrested for stealing a small refrigerator from a probation office used to store urine samples, including his own.

The Alachua County Sheriff's Office said a 26-year-old man stole the fridge after testing positive for drug use. Police said he went to the office Sunday, shot out a window to get inside and removed the locked refrigerator.

Probation officers gave investigators a list of names of those whose drug samples were stored in the stolen fridge. Investigators tracked down the suspect at his home where they found shards of glass with blood on them.

The fridge is still missing, but the man was being held at the Alachua County jail. He's charged with arson, destroying evidence, burglary and larceny.

Boy, 4, breaks into Texas store, plays with toys

From the "WTF!" Department:

Police called to a variety store by a burglar alarm overnight found a toddler inside, playing with the toys. Police said store surveillance video showed the unidentified boy trying to open one of the front doors to a Family Dollar store in Beaumont, Texas about 3 a.m. Monday, only to find it locked. But the second door was unlocked and the child went inside.

That triggered the silent alarm.

Detective Randy Stevens said the child apparently unlocked a door at his nearby home, got out, then crossed a multi-lane street to reach the store.

A canvass of the neighborhood turned up a family member searching for the child.

CPS spokeswoman Shari Pulliam said Child Protective Services claimed oversight of a 4-year-old boy during a review of the incident. The boy will be allowed to stay with other relatives, not the parents, during the CPS review period.

Emer the errant emu found safe after a month trip

Emer the errant emu is home after roaming free across northern Rhode Island for a month. The fugitive was profiled on television broadcasts. Authorities, area residents and owner Pamela Hood had tried to capture him. Yet he managed to outlast tranquilizer darts, traffic, freezing temperatures and hunger.

Finally on Saturday a Burrillville woman spotted Emer sauntering up her driveway. She walked the 6-foot-tall, 130-pound bird into a horse stall. Four-year-old Emer was 16 miles away from home.

His trek began after a pig nuzzled open the gate on Hood's livestock enclosure.

Emer took off the same night his mate laid an egg. It falls to male emus to sit on eggs for incubation. With its father back, the egg has a better chance of hatching.

*****

He just wanted a last fling before he was saddled with motherhood is all.

Arkansas woman says dog saved her life

An Arkansas woman said her dog Miley saved her life when she persisted in waking her from a carbon monoxide stupor. Stacie Pitts, 30, said her 1-year-old pet was sleeping next to her and woke her up in the early morning hours of Dec. 7. Pitts said she had a headache and went back to sleep, but Miley persisted and woke her up again. Pitts said she was overcome with nausea and realized then that something was wrong.

"I couldn't hold anything down. I ran to the bathroom throwing up," Pitts said. "And I wasn't throwing anything up but chemicals. It tasted like medicine in the back of my throat."

Her fiance, Richard Childers, woke up with a headache and woke up Pitts' 6-year-old stepdaughter.

"It took a while (for Richard) to wake her up. And when she woke, she had a headache," Pitts said.

Childers then called an ambulance, which took Pitts to Summit Medical Center while Childers and the child, who had also thrown up, followed in his vehicle.

At the hospital, Pitts said, doctors found that Pitts had a carbon monoxide level of 25, Childers tested at 20-22 and Pitts' stepdaughter's level was 17. The poison permanently scarred Pitts' lungs.

"My doctor said I was just inches away from the deadly point. I was not comatose, but I couldn't open my eyes," she said.

The family was treated for carbon monoxide poisoning and released from the hospital.

"If it wasn't for her (Miley) waking me up and making me feel the sickness, I would have went to sleep and never woke up," Pitts said.

Arkansas Oklahoma Gas inspected the home and found a leaky home heating unit that Pitts said was "rusted and about to fall through the floor." Pitts said the home was not equipped with a carbon monoxide detector, but her landlord has since installed one and plans to put in a new heater.

N.Y. Giants ask fan to cover up skimpy outfit

The New York Giants need another sack - to cover a flamboyant fan who wears skimpy outfits.

Sondra Fortunato went to Giants Stadium last week wearing a Santa Claus outfit, a tiara, fishnet stockings, a bathing suit bottom and high-heeled boots.

She also had a suitcase and two 11-by-17 signs reading "Go Giants" and "Have a No Guns Christmas," referring to the team's wide receiver shooting himself in the leg.

She insists nothing naughty was showing even though she's "well-endowed." As the middle-aged woman puts it, "You couldn't even see my underwear."

The Giants apparently saw it another way.

Security escorted her out, saying signs and baggage weren't allowed and telling her to cover up because there were children present. She figures other women "got jealous and complained."

*****

They are going to regret having her 'cover up' next Sunday when she was their best chance at distracting the Carolina Panthers from beating them on their home field.

Would not have worked, but she was their best hope!