Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Daily Funny

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
As she pays for her ticket, the bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You shouldn't take that. You tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey."

How smart are you?

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST


Count every " F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)




HOW MANY ?









WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind is further down.








The brain cannot process "OF".




Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.


Three is normal, four is quite rare.

(I am a genius BTW - got all six on the first go)

And lest you think I am making this up it actually was devised by Cambridge University.

Redneck Letter

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days..

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom

Klansman's cold-case conviction overturned

An appeals court has overturned the conviction last year of a Ku Klux Klan member in the deaths of two black Mississippi teenagers in 1964.

The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans says it agrees with arguments by James Ford Seale's attorney that the statute of limitations in the case had expired.

Seale was convicted of kidnapping and conspiracy in the abductions of Charles Eddie Moore and Henry Hezekiah Dee.

Both men were 19.

The men disappeared from Franklin County in Mississippi on May 2, 1964.

Their decomposed bodies were pulled more than two months later from the Mississippi River.

Seale has been serving three life sentences.

The case was among many unsolved civil-rights-era crimes prosecutors have revived since the early 1990s.

Now those revived cases are on shaky grounds.

Voter Stupidity

With many asking is America stupid enough to vote for McPain I thought it best to point out ...

Asking whether America is that stupid is futile!

America is that stupid.

They voted for Reagan twice!

Diane Webber, nudist, mermaid, RIP

 Wp-Content Uploads Webber1 Iconic nudist and mermaid model Diane Webber has died. She was 76. Webber became the quintessential mermaid with her starring role in the 1962 film Mermaids of Tiburon and was an outspoken advocate for social nudism during the 1960s and 1970s.

The world's oldest telephone book

Phoneboookokoko Last year, Christie's auctioned off the world's oldest telephone book. It's from 1878 and features both a residential directory and a "yellow pages." It's only 40 pages and doesn't contain a single telephone number, just the names of those who have service.

Does the US military have some super new capability?

On CBS's 60 Minutes, famed journalist Bob Woodward talked about his new book The War Within: A Secret White House History 2006-2008, about the Iraq war. During the interview, he made a vague reference to a breakthrough super secret weapon or capability he claims the US military has that is comparable to the advent of the tank and the airplane.

From CBS News:
"This is very sensitive and very top secret, but there are secret operational capabilities that have been developed by the military to locate, target, and kill leaders of al Qaeda in Iraq, insurgent leaders, renegade militia leaders. That is one of the true breakthroughs," Woodward told (60 Minutes correspondent Scott) Pelley.

"But what are we talking about here? It's some kind of surveillance? Some kind of targeted way of taking out just the people that you're looking for? The leadership of the enemy?" Pelley asked.

"I'd love to go through the details, but I'm not going to," Woodward replied...

"If you were an al Qaeda leader or part of the insurgency in Iraq, or one of these renegade militias, and you knew about what they were able to do, you'd get your ass outta town."

Army suicide rate could top nation's this year

The rate of suicides among-active duty soldiers is on pace to surpass both last year's numbers and the rate of suicide in the general U.S. population for the first time since the Vietnam war, according to U.S. Army officials.

As of August, 62 Army soldiers have committed suicide, and 31 cases of possible suicide remain under investigation, according to Army statistics. Last year, the Army recorded 115 suicides among its ranks, which was also higher than the previous year.


Palin's Lies ... so far



Palin's lies so far!
Let's count them shall we!

Lie #1) Was against the "Bridge to nowhere" - When in fact she campaigned for governor on a pro-bridge platform, lobbied for it, fought against its cancellation, and then kept the money once it was cancelled.

Lie #2) Fights against earmarks -When in fact as mayor of Wasilla she hired lobbyists to gather earmarks for her tiny town, which received $27 million in just 3 years - the per capita record in America.

Lie #3) She "sold the state's luxury jet on eBay" (at a profit! adds McCain) - it was listed on eBay, but did not sell. She turned it over to a broker who sold it at a $600,000 loss to a Palin contributor.

Lie #4) To the dismay of her kids she fired the state provided chef that cooked for them. - When in fact she merely reassigned the chef to a different position, a change of title, but she continued to cook for the Palin's.

Lie #5) She has fought against high taxes. - When in fact she raised taxes. Alaska has the 4th highest per capita taxes of any state in the USA.

Lie #6) She is a reformer who slashes government spending - When in fact, both as Mayor and Governor Palin has exploded government spending - despite setting a per capita record of well over $3000 in federal earmarks per resident in Wasilla she left the town $20 million in debt. The state of Alaska ranks #1 in spending per capita - more than double the national average. A big part of that is the $3200 'rebate' the state sends to each citizen every year (which also accounts for Palin's popularity - she increased it from a mere $2000 per year). Yet despite the fact that Alaska is awash in oil money, it ranks #1 in federal money spent in the state per resident.


While this not exactly a campaign lie, it is a new outrage:
Palin collected nearly $17,000 in per diems from the state of Alaska for 312 nights spent in her own home.
Amazingly enough, in Alaska this may not be illegal?!
Now imagine what the McCain campaign and the press would say if Obama did this for even a single night.

Well, at least these "Lies" are entertaining:

Group says: Raise driving age

Taking aim at a longstanding rite of passage for 16-year-olds, an influential auto safety group is calling on states to raise the age for getting a driver's license to 17 or even 18.

Adrian Lund, president of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, a research group funded by the auto insurance industry, acknowledged the idea is "a tough sell," but noted that car crashes are the leading cause of death among teenagers.

"The bottom line is that when we look at the research, raising the driving age saves lives," Lund said.

He plans to present the proposal Tuesday at the annual conference of the Governors Highway Safety Association in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Not surprisingly, a lot of teens hate the idea.

*****

Two things wrong with the 'logic' behind this:
First the 'research' was done by the insurance companies or done for with with their funding.
Second the numbers are skewed but will not remain so because the baby boomers and the baby boomer's children are all driving now and the number of teenagers driving is actually decreasing instead of increasing as it has for the last half century.

Now, this is not to say it isn't a good idea to rethink the age which we allow someone to drive but the reasons they are using are not what should be a 'deciding' factor.

The best solution would be to train drivers better ... some people driving today haven't a clue as to what they are doing and it makes the roads that much more dangerous.

An example of this is when some 45 year old from New York city comes to North Carolina and gets a drivers permit having never before driven a car then tells everyone that North Carolinians who have been driving for years (some of my generation since they were 8 or 9 and drove farm equipment around and 11 or 12 when they started driving cars, the 'legal' age is 16 but tell that to the farmers), can not drive.
What is so funny about that is around here when you pass a wrecked car in a ditch or flipped over it has one of three plates on the back of it ... New York, New Jersey, or Ohio - and WE can't drive?

So, age has little to do with the ability to drive a car until later in life when the motor skills and reaction to situations time begins to slow.
Better trained drivers would be much more of a help in saving lives - some teens are more capable than others just as some adults are more capable than others.

Heinz Award winners for 2008

Dr. Joseph DeRisi, a molecular biologist who is searching for a cure for malaria is among five people being named Heinz Award winners today.

The annual $250,000 prize is given to people who make notable contributions in the arts and humanities; the environment; the human condition; public policy; and technology, the economy and employment.

DeRisi invented the ViroChip, a small glass wafer containing some 22,000 DNA sequences from more than 1,300 viral families.
It enables scientists to identify existing viruses and detect new ones.
Using the ViroChip, DeRisi and his colleagues at the University of California at San Francisco, have cracked malaria's genetic code, which may lead to drug and vaccine therapy.
He gives most of his research and knowledge away for free.

The Pittsburgh-based Heinz Family Foundation has presented the awards since 1994 in memory of Sen. John Heinz III, heir to the Heinz food fortune who died in a 1991 plane crash.
The awards will be presented at a private ceremony in Pittsburgh on Oct. 21.

Other recipients this year include:

Thomas FitzGerald, of Louisville, Ky., won the environment award.
FitzGerald is founder and director of the Kentucky Resources Council, which has been dubbed the state's watchdog of the environment.

Robert Greenstein, of Washington, D.C., won the public policy award.
Greenstein is founder and executive director of the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, which analyzes the impact of federal and state budgets and tax policies on low- and moderate-income people.

Ann Hamilton, of Columbus, Ohio, won the arts and humanities award.
Hamilton is an artist and a professor of art at Ohio State University. Her work has appeared in exhibitions around the world, including the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles.

Brenda Krause Eheart, of Champaign, Ill., won the human condition award.
Eheart is founder of both Generations of Hope and Hope Meadows, where foster children, their adoptive parents and seniors live as neighbors.

Copycat?

Police investigating claims that a Polish man imprisoned and raped his daughter were seeking DNA samples Tuesday from the two children she says he fathered.

The 21-year-old woman told police she was held captive for six years and forced to give the two boys up for adoption.

Police were trying to find them to determine if the accused man is their father.

The case bears a striking similarity to that of Austrian Josef Fritzl, accused of holding his daughter in a cellar for 24 years, repeatedly sexually abusing her and fathering her seven children.

The case in Poland involves a 45-year-old man identified only as Krzysztof B., in keeping with Polish privacy laws.

Police detained him on Friday in the eastern city of Siedlce after his wife and daughter came forward with the allegations.

Yep, there already available




Now available "Sarah Palin action figures" complete with mini skirt/gun toting action.

Get yours today!

Automobile farmers of 1936

This 1936 article on the use of the "Chinese soy bean" to make Ford cars is a wonderful example of the common English of the time.

PLASTICS — chemical compounds which, are compressed under heat into desired shapes, and thereafter are not subject to corrosion—are increasingly in use. Some are made of coal-tar products, some of milk; and one, which Henry Ford is now employing extensively, utilizes the Chinese soy bean. This useful plant, is, next to rice, the staff of life in the Celestial republic; like beans, peas, and other “legume” plants, it contains the proteins, or nitrogen compounds, for which we eat meat. Its oil, also, has found many uses; and those who have eaten the great American national dish, chop suey, are familiar with the dark soy sauce which accompanies it. The mechanical uses of the soy bean (which does not resemble American beans) are of more recent discovery. It furnishes a fibrous flour, which gives body to a phenol (carbolic acid) compound. Under heat and pressure, this changes into a hard, strong, glossy substance, suitable for buttons, knobs, handles, mouldings, etc. About fifteen pounds of beans are now used in each Ford car, and raised under the direction of the manufacturer.

Desperate and Delusional

Just how desperate and delusional are the repugicans?

They are quite far off the deep end and their latest 'claims' only prove it all over again.

Did you know that all of the Media Icons we American have are repugicans?
Neither did I.
But that is what they are claiming.

First, just what and who are our media icons and what constitutes a 'media icon'?

They list John Wayne - granted he was a 'conservative', but in the true sense and was only a 'republican' like Teddy Roosevelt was, in name only ... his political views were close to the center and it was country first not party - however, John Wayne isn't a 'media icon'.

Then they devolve and dissolve into reveling the true depths of their delusions by continuing the list of repugican amerikkkan media icons with: Spiderman, Batman, Alfred (Batman's butler), Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny ... and list list goes on naming more cartoon characters.
Except for Superman.
Curious.

I wonder what John Wayne feels about being n a list of cartoon characters.

But if all of your 'Icons' are cartoons - maybe the charge that you don't deal well with reality has merit and you should admit it and seek help.

From the comment box

What they are saying about Carolina Naturally:

AWESOME BLOG!

Hi! I visited and read your blog. Very nice!

Hi, I saw your site, very informative. I got many new things from your site.

I joined your communities and checked out your blogs--very nice.

Just visited your site it’s very useful.


For starting the day off right Carolina Naturally is required reading.

Just wanted to let you know that I also joined both of your communities. You're a very interesting, creative person. After leaving you a thank you message, I looked at your communities. In a manner of minutes, you brought "Sunshine Into my Foggy Day".

I wanted to drop in and say hello. Great blog by the way.

Thank you!