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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Science News

From BBC-Science:
Huge sauropod dinosaurs could have held their heads much higher than many researchers believe, according to a study.

All-Digital Elections

Honolulu just conducted our nation's first all-digital election.
This is so cool.
No voting booths, people cast their votes online or by phone.
Everyone here at 'Late Night' would like to congratulate Honolulu's new mayor, a piano playing cat.

~ Jimmy Fallon

And I Quote

The other day Bush gave a speech at a graduating high school class.
He told them he finds not being
president liberating.
Agreed.
He told the kids he now finds himself walking the dog and picking up poop.
Finally, something he can actually find.
He couldn't find Osama, he couldn't find the WMDs.

If only we were attacked by dog shit on 9-11, we would've been OK.

~ Bill Maher

This Is Where All The Gov't Leaks Are Coming From

Pissing in an IRS Elevator is a Felony Offense, Apparently

Along with prosecuting terrorists, racketeers, and drug traffickers, the Department of Justice is seeking to combat another kind of pernicious criminality: felony elevator urination.

A Michigan man was actually named yesterday in a U.S. District Court complaint charging him with urinating in the freight elevator of an Internal Revenue Service building in Detroit. According to the document, Michael Hicks relieved himself in the lift "on numerous occasions" in late-2007 (to catch the urinator, a federal agent installed surveillance cameras in two freight elevators).

When confronted by a investigator, Hicks, then an IRS contract employee, "admitted to frequently urinating" in one of the elevators. "He stated he did this because he felt he could get away with it," wrote Special Agent Delmaria Scott in the complaint, a copy of which you'll find below. "Hicks' urination caused the IRS to incur a deep cleaning expense of $4626.25 within and underneath freight elevator #1," reported Scott. Hicks, who was charged with damaging government property, faces a maximum of ten years in prison. Had the urination damage not exceeded $1000, Hicks, upon conviction, would have been looking at no more than a year in the can.

9 outrageous resume lies

9 outrageous resume liesThese whoppers failed to fool recruiters.

9 outrageous resume lies

Also:

Number of 'problem' banks over 300

FDIC: Number of 'problem' banks over 300

Mounting losses from troubled loans help the FDIC's list of problem banks grow quickly.

FDIC

Also:

Next recalls underwear after complaints over 'Hitler image'

A customer complained that the image on Next underwear resembled the Adolf Hitler saluting as planes past overhead.

Full Story

Cops and Robbers

Nebraska cigarette bandit wore beer carton as disguise

Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton on his head.

Full Story

Motorcyclist accused of ramming Rhode Island cop _ again

A man faces charges for allegedly ramming a state trooper with his motorcycle, the second time he's been accused of such a crime.

Full Story

Police say woman fired shot near son's feet

A Pennsylvania woman was accused of firing a shot into the ground near her teenage son's feet because he wouldn't listen to her.

Full Story

Son bashed dad with shovel

An 18-year-old is accused of bashing his father's head with a shovel, leaving him in a coma.

Full Story

DMV offices frown on smiling faces

Ain't that the truth!

DMV offices frown on smiling facesOfficials in four states are asking drivers not to smile for their license photos.

DMV offices frown on smiling faces

Also:

Recession's end not far off

Economists: Recession's end not far off

Experts see a light at the end of the tunnel for the U.S. economy, but it's not going to be easy.

Economists

Also:

Jobs that pay $40K without a degree

Jobs that pay $40K without a degreeYou don't need a four-year degree for these well-paying careers.

$40K without a degree

Also:

Point To Ponder

Have you ever noticed that those who want to 'share' their religious views with you never want you to share yours with them?

Decoding Antiquity

From New Scientist:

Decoding antiquity: Eight scripts that still can't be read

What do you do when you dig up an ancient inscription, but don't know what it means?

New Scientist takes a tour of the world's tantalisingly undeciphered writings

Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Helsinki, Southern Finland, Finland
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Seoul, Seoul-T'ukpyolsi, Republic of Korea
Guayquil, Guayas, Ecuador
Budapest, Budapest, Hungary
Timisoara, Timis, Romania
Alesund, More Og Romsdal, Norway
Athens, Attiki, Greece
Madrid, Madrid, Spain
Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand
London, England, United Kingdom
Ankara, Ankara, Turkey
Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Beirut, Beyrouth, Lebanon
Kitchener, Ontario, Canada
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Sao, Paulo, Sao Paulo, Brazil
Tilburg, Noord-Brabant, Netherlands
Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

If you become too focused on one person, you'll be cutting yourself off from great opportunities.
A variety of people can help you reach your next goal or realize your latest dream -- so why would you want to deal with only one?
Plus, ignoring all of the other folks who could be influential in this situation might seem like an insult to them.
Even if you are trying to get something romantic started, you can begin by winning over their friends.

The more the merrier, right.