Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Friday, January 2, 2009

Eight 'Real' Urban Legends

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting , ‘ Please come out and give yourself up.’

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small , so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: ‘Give me all your money or I’ll shoot’, the man shouted, ‘that’s not what I said!’

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: ‘My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart’. ‘Is this her first child?’ the doctor asked. ‘No!’ the man shouted, ‘This is her husband!’

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellooooooo)!

8. AQUATIC VIRGINS!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

*****

Is it Live or is it Memorex?!

Media or lack thereof

With all the commentary about how the Corporate Mass Media are not doing their jobs going on today you would think it is a new thing, oh, but you'd be wrong!
Also, about the 'Liberal' Media hokum bandied about by the wing-nuts ....

Here is a quote from president Lyndon Johnson that addresses both the idea that Corporate media are not just now 'not doing their jobs' but in fact haven't been doing it for a good while and the fallacy of the 'Liberal' Media.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac river, the headlines that afternoon would have read, “President Can’t Swim”

~ Lyndon Johnson.

And I Quote

The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.

~ Helen Keller

Just watch and see


Muppets doing it as Muppets do.

As of this moment ...

4221 Brave men and women will not be returning from Iraq
ALIVE!

559 Brave men and women will not be retuning from Afghanistan
ALIVE!

Support Our Troops ...
Bring Them Home Now!

Science News

Devastating comet hit North America 13,000 years ago

Microscopic diamonds found a few feet underground are evidence that a big destructive comet hit North America 13,000 years ago, scientists say.

The LA Times reports:
According to the theory -- which has its critics -- as the comet broke apart, it rained fire over the entire continent, igniting the plains and the forests and creating choking clouds of smoke.

Heat from the explosions and the massive fires melted substantial portions of the Laurentide glacier in Canada, sending waves of water down the Mississippi and into the Gulf of Mexico. That triggered changes in Atlantic Ocean currents, which ushered in a 1,300-year ice age known as the Younger Dryas.

Battered by fire and ice, as many as 35 species of mammals, including American camels, the short-faced bear, the giant beaver, the dire wolf and the American lion, either immediately vanished or were so depleted in number that humans hunted them to extinction.

The humans, a Paleo-Indian grouping known as the Clovis culture for the distinctive spear points they employed, suffered a major population drop, disappearing in many areas for hundreds of years.

Clovis Comet
(It is a PDF article)

Texas jail closes after recliners found in cells

Say What!?!

A jail in northern Texas has been closed and its nearly 60 inmates transferred as authorities investigate what they call dangerous conditions for jailers and those behind bars - including cells that locked from the inside or contained recliners.

Five inmates had already been moved from the Montague County jail to one in a nearby county this month after an FBI raid, said Jack McGaughey, district attorney for Montague, Clay and Archer counties.
McGaughey declined to say what prompted the investigation, also being conducted by the Texas Rangers.
But he said authorities found contraband in the jail.

New Sheriff Paul Cunningham moved the inmates to the Wise County jail on Thursday a few hours after he was sworn in.
McGaughey said some surveillance cameras' cords had been disconnected; recliners were in cells; some bathrooms and cells could be locked from the inside; and inmates had made partitions out of paper towels to block jailers' views inside their cells.
One alarming discovery was a type of rack made of nails.

*****

Recliners in the cells? This was a jail, right? It's no wonder some want to go to jail and have the things they don't have outside of jail ... hell, I don't even have a recliner and I ain't in jail!

It's Friday!

Do you know where the party is?

Old Fashioned Barnstorming


This is just a home video of a bi-plane doing stunts at an airshow. pretty impressive, huh?
If you are thoroughly impressed then look closer and you can see that a man is standing on the upper wing as the plane is doing its rolls and flips and turns.
Oooh, aaahhh! Golly gee willikers, that's sumething!

And I Quote

Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.

~ E. Joseph Cossman