Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Saturday, November 15, 2008

Will the Wolf survive?


Los Lobos

Our Readers

Carolina Naturally readers can be found in the United States in:

Hicksville, Storrs Mansfield, Pinole, Odessa, Olympia, Oswego, La Jolla, Newnan, Sudbury and Carlise.

and world wide in:

Bratislava, Buenos ires, Neu Ulm, Warsaw, Dublin, Torino, Rishon Le Zion, Istanbul, Beziers, The Hague and Chennai

As of this moment ...

4200 Brave men and women will not be returning from Iraq
ALIVE!

Election spurs 'hundreds' of race threats, crimes

Just so you know this is one Southerner who finds this shit replusive!

Cross burnings.
Schoolchildren chanting "Assassinate Obama."

Black figures hung from nooses.

Racial epithets scrawled on homes and cars.


Incidents around the country referring to President-elect Barack Obama are dampening the postelection glow of racial progress and harmony, highlighting the stubborn racism that remains in America.

From California to Maine, police have documented a range of alleged crimes, from vandalism and vague threats to at least one physical attack.

Insults and taunts have been delivered by adults, college students and second-graders.

Read more about this disgusting crap here.

Police say man sped away after handing over ID

What is scary is that, 'They walk among us.'

Police said it wasn't the most well-thoughtout escape.

They say a man handed over his license and registration at a sobriety checkpoint during the weekend, then peeled out and sped away, almost hitting an officer.

Police eventually pulled over the 32-year-old man and reported finding marijuana in his vehicle.

He was charged with driving under the influence of drugs, possession of drugs, disobeying a police officer and reckless conduct.

Cops use greasy fingerprints to nab hungry burglar

He is why they title these pieces "Dumb Crook News"!

A prosecutor says greasy fingerprints led police in Virginia to a suspect with sticky fingers. Assistant Commonwealth's Attorney Bethany Harrison said Lynchburg police matched prints on an orange juice bottle left at the scene of a breaking and entering to 33-year-old Bernard Wood.

He was sentenced Friday to six years in prison after being found guilty of three counts of burglary and two counts of grand larceny.

Harrison said Wood stole appliances, jewelry and tools from several homes in June and raided his victims' refrigerators.

At one crime scene, police found the juice bottle and remnants of a chicken.

Harrison says police also recovered some of the 78 bags of popcorn also reported stolen when they went to Wood's home to arrest him.

Ya wanna talk luck!

Talk about being lucky - a north Alabama man is alive after being run over by a train on Thursday afternoon.

Huntsville Fire and Rescue officials said a train engineer spotted 61-year-old Arnold Romine lying across railroad ties.

Witnesses said the conductor sounded the horn and tried to stop the train.

Firefighters said by the time the coal train was stopped, 8 rail cars had passed over Romine's body.

Miraculously, he suffered what appeared to be minor injuries.

He was later treated and released at Huntsville Hospital.

Its unclear why Romine was lying on the tracks.

Larose gets new ZIP code - finally

I find it extremely funny and amazing that Carolina Naturally had readers in Larose, Louisiana (near Thibodaux) before they even had a ZIP code.

And you wonder about the Postal service!

Dateline Thibodaux:

It's no 90210, but residents of a small, rural community in southern Louisiana are just happy to have any five-digit ZIP code.

For four decades, folks in Larose have had to go to neighboring towns' post offices to retrieve their mail. Beginning Saturday, the 7,000 or so who live in the town can start using 70373 and should soon receive letters, packages and fliers in their roadside mailboxes for the first time.

"This will make it easier. You don't have to worry about two addresses, it will be a Larose address," said Christine Hohensee, a resident for 43 years. "I like it. It's time. The older people probably aren't going to care for it, but times change."

Residents petitioned for years to bring a rural route to the area, but the switch wasn't made until a recent survey showed widespread support, said Daisy Comeaux, spokeswoman for the U.S. Postal Service.

Enduring the mystery

N.C. investigators have returned to Carolina Beach to search for the remains of a mother and daughter who disappeared 67 years ago in a case that has long stumped authorities.

The State Bureau of Investigation brought ground-penetrating radar to a home this week to scan a concrete slab for any sign of remains, the Star-News of Wilmington reported.

“Family members of the missing persons came forward with some additional information and asked that the case be reopened,” said SBI spokeswoman Noelle Talley. She said the agency has access to ground-penetrating radar equipment at no cost through the forensic science program at N.C. State University.

Thirty-six-year-old Leila Bryan and her 4-year-old daughter Mary Rachel disappeared May 10, 1941. The case had been initially investigated during that decade but never solved. Carolina Beach Police Chief William Younginer said Bryan's husband, E.C. Bryan, had at one time been a suspect. He said the husband had laid concrete beneath the elevated home and left soon after.

He is now deceased.

Zoo mourns death of popular Asian elephant Mac

Mac the inquisitive Asian elephant known for being the largest of its kind born in captivity in the United States died at the Houston Zoo this week after suddenly contracting an incurable disease.

The zoo held a memorial service Saturday for the popular 2-year-old elephant Mac, who was remembered in anecdotes tinged both by sadness and laughter.
Behind a fence and to the side, Mac's mother, Shanti, and his aunt, Methai, looked on.
"We all loved Mac and he will live in all our hearts forever," zoo volunteer Toni Noble said, her eyes tearing up.

Mac died Sunday less than 12 hours after first showing symptoms of elephant herpesvirus, which causes blood vessels to weaken.

The young elephant weighed 384 pounds when he was born in October 2006, making him the largest Asian elephant born in captivity at a U.S. zoo, said Deborah Cannon, president and CEO of the Houston Zoo.
Mac learned more than 30 behaviors before he turned 1, something previously unheard of in elephants, Cannon said.
But the beast's energy suddenly vanished Sunday as he became lethargic and lost his appetite, two symptoms of elephant herpesvirus.

Before getting sick, Mac was known for his sense of fun and mischief.
Noble recalled buying Mac an inflatable punching bag.
"He would come back to it, whack it with his trunk and then tear off and go running crazy about the yard," she said.

Death from elephant herpesvirus is usually attributed to heart failure.
It was first identified in 1995 by researchers at the Smithsonian National Zoo and Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.
There is no cure for herpesvirus in animals, and there is not yet a direct test to detect it in a healthy animal.

Over the past 20 years, the Houston zoo has lost six other elephants to the herpesvirus.
Other zoos across the country in recent years have also lost elephants to herpesvirus, prompting some animal rights groups to attribute the disease to captivity.
But Cannon said elephants are at risk of contracting the disease both in captivity and in the wild.
Breeding elephants in captivity, she said, is the only way to ensure the species doesn't become extinct and gives researchers opportunities to study the disease more.

Times Square is getting its first 'green' billboard

This winter, New Year's Eve revelers will have a close-up view of Times Square's first environmentally friendly billboard powered entirely by wind and sun.

But the billboard might not be quite as dazzling as some of its high-powered neighbors along the Great White Way.

Construction on the 35,000-pound sign advertising Ricoh Americas Corp. is to begin this month across the avenue from the building where the ball drops on New Year's Eve.

Powered by 16 wind turbines and 64 solar panels, the sign is expected to save $12,000 to $15,000 per month in electricity costs.

Ricoh, an office equipment and document storage supplier, estimates the sign will also keep 18 tons of carbon out of the environment.

And I Quote

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.


~ Rodney Dangerfield.

This Just In ...

Nineteenth-seed Norway upset 3rd-seed China in round three of the 38th Chess Olympiad on Saturday.

The "New Rules"



Bill Maher's last "New Rules" for 2008.
From November 14, 2008

Earliest Known Shaman Grave Site Found

In what is now Israel that is ...

“An ancient grave unearthed in modern-day Israel containing 50 tortoise shells, a human foot and body parts from numerous animals is likely one of the earliest known shaman burial sites, researchers said on Monday. The 12,000-year-old grave dates back to the Natufian people who were the first society to adopt a sedentary lifestyle, Hebrew University of Jerusalem researcher Leore Grosman and colleagues said.

“The interment rituals and the method used to construct and seal the grave suggest this is the burial of an ancient shaman, one of the earliest known from the archaeological record,” they wrote in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. Shamans play an important role in many cultures, mediating between the human and spiritual worlds and acting as messengers, healers, magicians to serve the community, the researchers said.

The Israeli team found the bones in a small cave in the lower Galilee region of present-day Israel that was a Natufian burial ground for a least 28 people. At the time of burial, more than 10 large stones were placed directly on the head, pelvis, and arms of the elderly woman whose body was laid on its side. The legs were spread apart and folded inward at the knee. The special treatment of the body and use of stones to keep it in a certain position suggests the woman held a unique position in the community, likely some sort of a shaman, the researchers said.”

Nine more unlawfully jailed

A court in military-ruled Burma has sentenced an additional nine pro-democracy activists to 65-year prison terms, relatives and activists said Saturday.

Their cases are among a string of recent prison sentences given to critics of the ruling junta.

About 70 opposition activists, writers, musicians and Buddhist monks have been sentenced in the last week.

The nine activists of the 88 Generation Students group, named for their part in pro-democracy demonstrations in 1988, were sentenced at a closed trial inside Maupin Prison in the Irrawaddy Delta in southwestern Yangon last Tuesday.

Relatives of the nine only learned of the sentences Saturday when they visited them at Insein Prison, where they were brought from Maupin Prison to later be transferred to other prisons.

Fire is destroying Los Angeles.

Dateline: Los Angeles.

A wildfire being whipped up by the hot Santa Anna winds -gusting up to 76mph - has destroyed countless homes and forced thousands to flee before the onslaught.

A mobile home park containing 600 spaces has been abandoned to the fire by firefighters because the fire was burning out of control.

Ariel photos show rows upon rows of homes gutted by the fire in one subdivision alone.

The fire began in the northern foothills near the national forest and quickly spread jumping two highways which caused authorities to order mandatory evacuation from the area.

Addendum:

A new fire south of Los Angeles is causing that section of LA to be evacuated as well.
So all those from the north side who fled south are now being sent elsewhere as well as the residents of the southern end of LA.

Fires in Los Angeles county and Orange county mean its Death Valley or the Pacific Ocean next for residents to go to.

Two dead and one missing in NC storm

A cluster of strong thunderstorms swept across central North Carolina early today and spawned tornadoes, killing two people.

A child was also missing.

A woman was found dead in her wrecked home and her son was missing in the community of Kenly, which is about 35 miles southeast of Raleigh, said state police spokeswoman Patty McQuillan.
The boy's father was taken to a hospital with injuries.
In neighboring Johnston County, authorities said a child also was killed.

Officials said the severe storm affected a half dozen counties, knocking down tress and power lines.
A number of homes and buildings were damaged or destroyed.

Kenly residents picked through the rubble of a one-story brick home that was devastated. Family and friends piled up mattresses, took pictures of the damage and filled garbage bags with trash.
Family portraits had been tossed into the woods some 200 yards from the home.
The skeleton of a camper the family had just bought rested nearby, amid other remnants thrown from the home.

One half of Mark Stephenson's home was flattened, while a tree had fallen through other half, on top of his 19-year-old daughter's bedroom.
She was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.
"It's hard to believe, it's hard to take in," Stephenson said.
"We've got our lives and our health, so we're good to go."
His 14-year-old son, Hunter, pointed over to what used to be his bedroom - now just a pile of bricks and beams.
Hunter's bedroom was being remodeled and he had been sleeping in the living room.
"I'm lucky," he said. "It's crazy, if I would have been in there, I would have been dead."

Three homes away, Stacey Franks, 31, checked on her 78-year-old father.
Two large trees had missed falling on his mobile home by a few feet.
His tractor-trailer had been flipped on its side.
"He's nerves are really damaged. He's just upset," Franks said of her father.
"I just can't believe this has happened."

A Red Cross Shelter was opened at a church in Kenly.
National Weather Service officials were sending crews out to survey the damage.
The weakened storm system moved northeast to the Virginia coast.
Authorities warned there was potential for another round of nasty weather along the Carolinas coast Saturday afternoon as a cold front crept across the region.

They never learn

From the "They never learn" Department:

The repugicans are still trying to steal the election in Minnesota and get this ... they are trying to do it by claiming the election was stolen from them!

Brad Friedman of the Brad Blog has been, and still is, the biggest advocate of election integrity in the Blogosphere.
The latest news he brings us about election shenanigans is the fact that there are no facts in the Minnesota repugican's contention that 32 absentee ballots were "riding around" in a car after the Franken - Coleman election:

For those following the nonsense being put forward by the gop conspiracy theorists (such as Sean Hannity, Norm Coleman, redstate blog, powerline blog, and all their fact-free friends), David Brauer at Minnpost.com does a terrific job of debunking the whole "32 ballots driven around in an election director's car for days" nonsense.

They weren't driven around in her car, they weren't all votes for Franken, they weren't "lost" for days, and the claim, which is being used by the national repugicans at their conspiracy theory "minnesota recount" site to prop up their unsubstantiated claims of a "stolen election," turns out (surprise surprise) to be entirely false...

Specifically, as to the claims that 32 ballots were driven around for days in the car of Minneapolis elections director Cindy Reichert:

  1. The ballots were never in her car.

  2. The ballots were never in anyone's car for several days.

  3. The ballots were never lost or forgotten, and spent election night until counting day in secure city facilities.
See David Brauer's piece for the complete real details on the story, about which Sean Hannity spent a full two segments misreporting and misrepresenting on FauxNews last night.

Life is full of moments of epiphany.

Life is full of moments of epiphany.

The latest for this ol'war horse was a few days ago when he came to the realization that more people are more violently opposed to fur than they are to leather ... because it is easier and safer to harass wealthy elderly women that it is to harass motorcycle gangs.

A Slice of Philosophy

Some folks are wise.
Some folks are otherwise.

Oh, for the Halibut, I’ve Haddock. First I Flounder, then I Lobster.

A triple-play of humorous endeavors:


Play Number One
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."

Play Number Two

One Sunday, a minister played hooky from church so he could shoot a round of golf.
Saint Peter, looking down from Heaven, seethed.

"You're going to let him get away with this, God?"

The Lord shook his head,
The minister took his shot.
The ball soared through the air 420 yards and dropped into the cup for a hole in one.

Saint Peter was outraged.
"I thought you were going to punish him!"
The Lord shrugged. "Who's he going to tell?"

Play Number Three

During the lunchtime rush at a local cafe a woman suddenly called out, "My daughter is choking! She swallowed a nickel! Please, anyone, help!"
Immediately a man at a nearby table rushed up to her and said he was experienced in these situations.

He calmly stepped over to the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.
Out popped the nickel.
The man returned to his table as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you!", The mother cried.
"Tell me, are you a doctor?"
"No, " the man relied.
"I work for the IRS."

A Motto Or Two

Being Scots and being of the nobility here are:

My Personal Motto: Nunquam Verto

The Family Motto: Lieber et Audax

The Clan Motto: Noblis est Ira Leonis

Translated they all mean: "Don't 'F' with me/us!" (In a nice and courteous sorta way).
Seriously, though, you don't want to ...

Did You Know ...

Speaking of smells did you know that Pepsodent toothpaste will wash off the smell of fish on your hands better than any soap or perfume will?!

Quoting Myself


Man does not live by whine alone ... but by damn, some try!

And I Quote

Grant me the serenity to not throttle the living mud out of an idiot who so desperately needs it!

~ The Joyous Elf

Good Advice

Before trying to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they are not trying to keep up with you!

Sage Wisdom

Don’t take life so seriously, you don’t get out of it alive anyway.

Dancing within a raindrop.

Been out in the rain this evening having a blast.


I don’t know why but it struck me as the thing to do this evening - celebrating life and whatever else needed celebrating ... it could be
International Wig Out in a Thunderstorm Day for all I know.

Free Form Ramble

Sitting here contemplating nothing ... literally.

The brain is numb.
Quiet now, the birds are asleep.
So, I thought a free flow of thoughts is in order.

(some of my best works have come from the free flow)

Here goes nothing ...

Blue glass
Energize

Trail mix and Fritos
Risk

Bare the skin glows
Glitter floating about their heads

Pack up the kids, I've got that old traveling bone
Atomic Fire Balls and other inuendos

Crystal radio
Along the shore as the lone gull cries

Can you hear the sizzle
Easy east of town when no one is around
Telephone line to the future

Echoes in the trees
Etheral forest mist shines the One Soul

Living with rodents
Saladin and Bon Homme Richard
The Efreet dances free

Cupcakes and mudpies make the world fade away

Twixt and between all is cut in twain

You can't run with your knickers down

Silver granite in the blink of a haint's eye

Kudos and kinks in the uneven path
Close

Ebony glass bead, a Dragon's eye

Bottled in the cavern the hermit dies

Pteradactyls with fairies wings

Dancing on the point of a knife
Imagine, as the worm crawls

Bask in the glory of quim's fragrant flower
Red sky in the rear view mirror

Sleep come to the weary

Where do these people come from?!

From the "Where do these people come from?!" Department:

Was talking to a friend today and he was relating a story of another friend of his who works at Food Lion who witnessed what I am terming a
new level of stupid.

It seems the Deli Manager at a certain Food Lion store did not show up for work three days running and when she did show she told the district manager at the store the reason she did not come to work was that she had OD'd on
Crack.
She was fired on the spot.
Duh, you think?!


One: it was way beyond stupid to even partake in the
Crack in the first place.
Two: telling your boss you missed work because you partook in
Crack - in excess, no less ... is not the most intelligent thing to do.
Three: ok, there is no three the first two covered it.

Like I said a new level of stupid ... it's not called Dope for nothing.
Also, it further proves the idea that Food Lion is not the place I want to shop - and the idea needed no further proof in the first place.

The Daily Conundrum ...

Does not expecting the unexpected make the unexpected, expected?

Latissimus dorsi

Latissimus dorsi

Them's fancy words for the large muscle in the back.

In all my years of sports, soldiering, work, play and living in general I have never have it 'catch' like it did last night.
I haven't been to sleep since 0430 yesterday morning, even a bullet didn't hurt as much as my back did last night for no good reason.


Went to the family doctor and when I got there they had pulled the Mrs., chart - you know the one that takes a forklift to lift and is thicker that
War and Peace ... in Russian ... in Braille and that's just Volume One of it - instead of mine - the one that a slight breeze would blow away.
I don't make it to the doctor all that much - and had to wait while they went to the lower vault to look under the mountain of dust and cobwebs there to find it ... like I said I don't make it to the doctor all that much because I am rarely ill, but when I am ... I am!

Surviving the Shrub's Depression

Got a friend who has decided to work as a stripper to earn enough to pay her bills - with the economy like it is she pretty much had to do that or start getting paid for services rendered if you catch my meaning as those are still the two highest paying jobs for women out there and while she has no qalms about being nude in front of strangers or service rendering for that matter (if the truth be told) she has this hang up about being paid for rendering services ... that and the fact it is not legal to render services for payment where she lives had something to do with her decision.

It is a sad state of affairs when they force someone to make choices they would rather not have to. She will do well - I've seen her and know exactly where the dimples are (as I said she isn't shy about being nude) and believe it or not it will be her personality that makes her the big bucks ... ok so the 36C's won't hurt ... but her complete makeup will be what carries her through.

I only wonder the next time she drops by and drops trou ... will I have to pony up two dollars for the garter?