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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Georgia screws the nation

Folks, the people in Georgia have fucked the nation over by re-electing Chambliss to the Senate.
And they wonder why people laugh when they say they are from Georgia!?

Chambliss has sworn to be a stonewall and a roadblock to any attempt at changing how things are done in Washington or changing how the nation is governed and the betterment of the poor and working people of the nation ... the very things the American people want.

So the 'do nothing' congress of the last two years - because of the repugican's record number of filibusters and outright opposition to any legislation introduced by anyone not of the wing-nut variety (including true conservatives) - will continue so they can use that 'do nothing' rally cry in the 2010 elections ... it did not work in 2008, but when has reality ever stood in the way of the wing-nuts.

We can thank the idiots in Georgia for this crap and the shit we will see until the next election when more repugicans will lose their seats.

To all the people in Georgia who supported Martin we thank you ... you prove that at least there are some signs of intelligence in the state, unfortunately there appears to be very little of it.

DUI suspect drives off with fuel hose in tank

The Nevada Highway Patrol says a drunken driving suspect in Reno was gassed in more ways than one. A 40-year-old Reno woman was arrested early Tuesday after an ambulance crew saw her driving on U.S. Highway 395 with a fuel hose and nozzle sticking out of her gas tank.

Patrol spokesman Chuck Allen said the crew tried to signal the woman after they spotted the unusual appendage to her green Subaru wagon about 4:30 a.m. but couldn't get her attention.

He said the crew eventually initiated a traffic stop and radioed the state troopers. Upon their arrival, the woman failed a sobriety test and was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence.

Allen said they are still trying to find the service station that is missing the nozzle and about 6 feet of fuel hose.

Man arrested for lighting grill inside apartment

From the "Duh, Which way did he go, George" Department:

Police in Ledyard, Connecticut, arrested a 44-year-old man who lit a small charcoal grill inside his apartment, endangering his neighbors. Police charged him with second-degree reckless endangerment after two people became ill.

Police said the grill created dangerous carbon monoxide levels in the apartment building. Two residents were taken to a local hospital for evaluation.

The man has been released on a $500 bond.

*****

And to think he is not the only 'bright bulb' who has done this ...

Man jumps into cab of moving pickup to stop theft

A man who saw his pickup truck being stolen jumped into the bed of the moving vehicle, kicked out the back window and crawled into the cab to stop the thief. Police said the woman who stole the truck then jumped out and hopped into her boyfriend's car, which the truck owner chased until officers intervened.

The woman, 18 was booked into the Tulsa Jail at 3 a.m. Tuesday. She faces complaints of larceny of an automobile and leaving the scene of property damage.

Alonzo Johnson said his truck was stolen after he left it running while he was inside a QuikTrip store.

*****

How about next time you turn it off and take the keys?! At least make it so they have to 'work' at it to steal it.

Message in bottle tossed off NJ in '69 found in NC

A message in a bottle tossed into the ocean off Barnegat Bay has turned up in North Carolina - 39 years later. The note was sealed in a Schaefer beer bottle. It was dated Aug. 17, 1969 and read: "If found notify the North Haledon Fire Co. 2."

Mark Ciarmello and his 3-year-old daughter found the bottle along a beach in Corolla, N.C., in October. That's about 400 miles from where it was released.

The Downingtown, Pa., resident said he got on his cell phone, called North Haledon and e-mailed photos of the bottle to the firefighters.

No one is sure who tossed the bottle. But firefighters suspect it was during one of the many fishing trips that they used to take years ago.

Cat lost in Yellowstone returned to Texas family

Great story!

A cat lost in Yellowstone National Park in August has been returned to her family in Houston with the help of some West Yellowstone residents. Philip Wattenbarger and his family were camping in a trailer in the West Yellowstone area when their long-haired tabby, Fluffy, went missing on Aug. 1.

Elizabeth Ayers said the family figured the cat had been caught by a coyote. Her three young daughters, 6-year-old twins Tamara and Evelyn and 8-year-old Marisa, were sad about losing the cat.

"Tamara in particular had been very upset," Ayers said. "Every day she'd say, 'Mom, is Fluffy coming back?"

Fluffy somehow survived for about three months despite the coyotes, foxes, owls, hawks, eagles and grizzly bears that frequent the West Yellowstone area.

"It's pretty amazing," said Rick Armstrong, a West Yellowstone school guidance counselor, whose family lives north of town. "There's plenty of predators that would want to eat a little cat."

Residents in the Horse Butte area, about a mile from the campground, noticed the stray cat and started leaving food out for her. She had a harness and tag, but wouldn't let anyone get close enough to her to read it, Armstrong said.

Fluffy was apparently finding shelter in a garage.

With cold weather approaching in mid-November, Armstrong's parents, Norval and Shirley Armstrong, borrowed a live trap and baited it with cat food. Fluffy took the bait on Nov. 15.

"Five minutes later, my mother called the people in Houston," Armstrong said. "They couldn't believe it."

Ayers says Fluffy "wasn't the smarter of our two cats, so we were quite surprised. She has more skills than we expected."

Anne Kinney, a Horse Butte-area resident and retired Delta Airlines flight attendant, volunteered to accompany Fluffy home.

On Nov. 18, Kinney and Fluffy flew to Houston and met Ayers, who paid the cat's vet bill and a $150 air fare.

"We were all thrilled when she got home," Ayers said. "She's my snuggle-bud. She loves to be held like a baby. She snuggles down and purrs."

Even though I am a dog person myself, this is a great story.

Two for the price of one

Police on Long Island say they've pulled two drunken drivers from one car.

Nassau County officers say they spotted a woman trying to make a three-point turn on a road in East Meadow. They say that when she couldn't complete the maneuver, she switched places with a male passenger, who took the steering wheel and completed the turn while not wearing a seat belt.

Police pulled them over and charged them with drunken driving.

As police Commissioner Lawrence Mulvey put it, "We have two individuals arrested for driving the same car intoxicated."

The man and the woman were arraigned Friday on driving while intoxicated and other charges.

The woman was ordered held on $1,000 bail. The man was ordered held on $5,000 bail.

They're due back in court Tuesday.

Dimbulb wannbe sacked

In what is a growing trend among radio stations the local Dimbulb imitator Jeff Katz was canned by WBT.

Dismal ratings and sagging advertising revenue due to people just being sick and tired of them are leading many stations to jettison their wing-nut loudmouths faster than a fart dissipates in a wind storm.

Reactions to Jeff Katz's dismissal have been overwhelmingly positive with the majority of the comments along the lines of:

“I’m glad he’s gone, this guy, all he would do is the negative.” Or if you disagreed with Katz you were cut off the air during the call portion of the show.

As this trend continues we will regain our airwaves for sanity and civility and good ol' rock'n'roll!
And rapidly, too!

Science Film


Giant Squid Attacks Camera

Fractured Fairy Tales


Three Little Pigs

And I Quote

"$7,800,000,000,000 has now been spent bailing out Wall Street and banks, and Republicans attack labor unions.
This is like blaming the cancer victim for the tumor.
Give me a break.
It has been said, if you want to live like a Republican, vote for the Democrats.
It might be said, if you want to bankrupt the nation paying for the Great Bank Robbery of 2008, vote for the Republicans and blame the workers."

~ Brent Budowsky

Winter wonderland was a dump

Hundreds of people are furious because the Lapland New Forest, a winter wonderland theme park near Dorset, England , wasn't what they were promised when they bought tickets.

According to the BBC, the Lapland New Forest Web site (currently down) advertised the place as a "magical scene" featuring a snowy setting of log cabins, a nativity scene, huskies, and a "bustling" Christmas marketplace. Judging by the photos on the BBC News site, it was actually a dump.

From the BBC News:
 Nol Shared Spl Hi Pop Ups 08 Uk Lapland New Forest Img 1-1












April Chantler, of Dibden Purlieu, Hampshire, described the park as "hell".

"The huskies were chained up in a pen howling, yapping and generally looking thin and unhappy.

"The two reindeer were obviously not enjoying their surroundings and the 'log cabins' were a few green painted sheds with more or less nothing in them."

Grace Tyrrell, of Fareham, Hampshire, said there were many health and safety issues and that the toilets were "full to the seat" leaving her six-year-old daughter "disgusted".

"The entire day was a joke, and I know everyone else thought so," she said.

"The nativity scene (photo) was a picture on a painted wall which was viewed from a distance and which had everyone we met laughing."

The shrub in Hell

George W. Bush dies and goes to Hell.

Satan says "you caused so much trouble on Earth I'm going to let you choose how you're tortured for all eternity" and shows him round Hell.

Bush sees people being flayed, scourged, having hot pokers inserted into various orifices, the pit where all the Popes are nine months pregnant with triplets and is scared by all of them.

Finally they come to a lake where the damned are standing thigh deep in evil smelling shit while drinking tea.

Bush thinks to himself that the shit may smell truly horrible and he can't stand tea but it looks like the best he's going to get so he chooses that.

Just then a demon walks up to the damned and says "All right then, tea break is over, another thousand years doing a handstand."

Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'


The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you
a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long
time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under
the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For
this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you
twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty,
the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.
I'm doing it as a public service.

Administration was warned of economy's collapse

Who could have known, especially when they were told it would happen?!

The shrub and the cabal backed off proposed crackdowns on no-money-down, interest-only mortgages years before the economy collapsed, buckling to pressure from some of the same banks that have now failed. It ignored remarkably prescient warnings that foretold the financial meltdown, according to a review of regulatory documents.

"Expect fallout, expect foreclosures, expect horror stories," California mortgage lender Paris Welch wrote to U.U. regulators in January of 2006, about one year before the housing implosion cost her a job.

seattle pi

Why do repugicans hate America?

In an interview with the conservative online publication newsmax, former Florida dictator shrubette (aka jeb bush) said the gop must broaden its appeal to avoid becoming “the old white-guy party,” and recommended that repugicans create a “shadow government” to work on its own agenda.

Clue for the clueless: It already is the 'OLD WHITE-GUY PARTY'

Shave and a hot bath



Clint Eastwood in one of the best Psychological Thrillers of all time High Plains Drifter.
Yes, I know it is a Western ... but think about it ...

Neil Gaiman explains why he opposes laws banning speech he disagrees with

In response to a reader who asked him why he was sticking up for a manga collector whose comics included depictions of underage sex, Neil Gaiman responds with a reasoned, intelligent, and convincing article about the problems of legal limits on speech. First they came for the manga -- what's next?
So when Mike Diana was prosecuted -- and found guilty -- of obscenity for the comics in his Zine "Boiled Angel", and sentenced to a host of things, including (if memory serves) a three year suspended prison sentence, a three thousand dollar fine, not being allowed to be in the same room as anyone under eighteen, over a thousand hours of community service, and was forbidden to draw anything else obscene, with the local police ordered to make 24 hour unannounced spot checks to make sure Mike wasn't secretly committing Art in the small hours of the morning... that was the point I decided that I knew what was obscene, and it was prosecuting artists for having ideas and making lines on paper, and that I was going to do everything I could to support the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. Whether I liked or approved of what Mike Diana did was utterly irrelevant. (For the record, I didn't like the text parts of Boiled Angel, but did like the comics, which were personal and had a raw power to them. And somewhere in the sprawling basement magazine collection I have Boiled Angel 7 and 8, which I read back then to find out what was being prosecuted, and for owning which I could, I assume, now be arrested...)

...You ask, What makes it worth defending? and the only answer I can give is this: Freedom to write, freedom to read, freedom to own material that you believe is worth defending means you're going to have to stand up for stuff you don't believe is worth defending, even stuff you find actively distasteful, because laws are big blunt instruments that do not differentiate between what you like and what you don't, because prosecutors are humans and bear grudges and fight for re-election, because one person's obscenity is another person's art.

Because if you don't stand up for the stuff you don't like, when they come for the stuff you do like, you've already lost.

Canned Libraries: the 1936 version of "universal access to all human knowledge"

In this 1936 Modern Mechanix article, a fantasy about shrinking the Library of Congress to fit "in a few small filing cabinets" on microfiche/film. Once this is done, copies of the great library will be distributed to worthy institutions all over the world.

This is one of the Ur-dreams of librarianship, what Brewster Kahle of the Internet Archive calls "universal access to all human knowledge." Today's Internet was shaped by people who share the dream. It's a beautiful one.

Each volume so reduced in size is housed in a sealed cartridge not much larger than a 12-gauge shotgun shell. When desired for reading, it is inserted in a small cabinet, the light turned on, and the copy is projected upon a screen, enlarged to comfortable reading size and unaccompanied by glare...

One of the greatest advantages of film books is that small schools and libraries with limited space and money can afford to have all the material which is now available only in the large cities. Files of perishable newspapers can be photographed and thus preserved indefinitely. The cost of making film books will be much below that of printing regular books and their small size also eliminates the storage problem.

Coffee stop leads police to cocaine arrest

From the "Why am I not surprised this happened in Arkansas" Department:

Arkansas sheriff's deputies said they arrested a man needing a little bit more of a boost to go with his morning coffee. Deputies said the man parked next to their unmarked cruiser Tuesday outside of a Starbucks in Bentonville.

Deputies said they saw the man take a sniff of a white substance off of a small spoon before going inside the coffee shop.

The deputies confronted the man, who initially denied the substance was cocaine. Later, deputies say he admitted to taking the drug and allowed deputies to search his car. The deputies say they found three grams of suspected cocaine in the vehicle and on him.

The man faces charges of possession of a controlled substance and was taken to the Benton County Jail.

He was later released from custody on a citation.

What can I say ... it was a perfect convergence of stereotypes: Cops at coffee shops - Coke-head searching for a jolt - Suspicious natures and behaviors ... you can't write this stuff this funny!

Man gets birthday card from former teacher

From the "Aw, ain't that sweet!" Department:

Hobart Anderson of New Ulm, Minnesota, turned 80 recently and with his birthday came a surprise. He got a birthday card signed by Collette Hartung. She was his teacher - 70 years ago. He says he was very, very surprised.

Here's how it happened. Anderson and his wife, Charlotte, were recently honored by the Wanda Gag House Association for his 20 years of involvement with the group and the house.

Hartung saw an article about the honor in The Journal of New Ulm and mailed the card. She said it was a wonderful opportunity to send a surprise.

Hartung is still living on her own in Hutchinson and is in her 90s. She was in her early 20s when she taught Anderson's third and fourth-grade class.

The association tends to the historic house of Wanda Hazel Gag, author of the classic children's book, "Millions of Cats."

Seriously ... this is a great story. The kind we all need more of in our life.

Man says God ordered him to ram vehicle at 100 mph

From the "Belevue called and said your rubber room is ready" Department:

A man who rammed his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway early Friday told authorities he crashed into her while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."

The truck rear-ended the car on U.S. Highway 281, both vehicles spun across a median then came to a stop along a barrier in the opposite lanes. Both drivers suffered only minor injuries.

"He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road," Bexar County Sheriff's Office spokesman Kyle Coleman said in the online edition of the San Antonio Express-News. "God must have been with them, 'cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal."

The pickup driver did not tell police how the woman was driving. Police could not find alcohol or drugs in either driver.

A psychiatric evaluation has been ordered for a man.

What is in the air in Texas these days?

Revenge, Deer Sweet Revenge

You know it had to be in Missouri ...

A hunter bagged a big buck on the second day of firearms season, but the kill caused him a lot of pain.
Randy Goodman, 49, said he thought two well-placed shots with his .270-caliber rifle had killed the buck on November 19th.
Goodman said the deer looked dead to him, but seconds later the nine-point, 240-pound animal came to life.

The buck rose up, knocked Goodman down and attacked him with his antlers in what the veteran hunter called "15 seconds of hell."
The deer ran a short distance and went down, and died after Goodman fired two more shots.

Soon Goodman started feeling dizzy and noticed his vest was soaked in blood.

So he reached his truck and drove to a hospital, where he received seven staples in his scalp and was treated for a slight concussion and bruises.

Daily Horoscope

My horoscope for the day says:

Find what you need in your own cupboards, garage, attic and basement.

Which will be easy, we just moved so I know where everything is and what it is.

Carolina Naturally is read in ...

Carolina Naturally is read in:

Mukilteo, Bolingbrook, Delano, Williamantic, and Miamisburg in the United States.

Rotterdam, Olsztyn, Mumbai, Copenhagen, and Linkoping internationally.

Plus a whole lot more places in 145 countries.

We would like to welcome our newest readers from our newest country:



Montenegro