Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Saturday, March 21, 2009

Keith Olbermann's "Special Comment" on Bank Bailout


Keith gives'em 'down the country'!

Hidden from view

[Image]

Soldier in black and white uniform to conceal him while climbing trees.
He stands in front of a house camouflaged to represent a fence and trees.
Co. F, 24th Engnrs. American University, D. C. November 14, 1917.
Army Engineer Corps. (Army)

Latest Victim of China's Food Safety Scandals:

From TreeHugger:

china-celebrity-endorsement-products-food-safety.jpg

In the West, celebrity spokespeople need to worry about their bad behavior, lest they lose their endorsement deals. In China, celebrities need to start worrying about the things they're endorsing.

Prompted by a slew of food safety scandals, the Chinese parliament has passed a sweeping food safety law that makes liable public personalities who endorse questionable products.

Article continues: Latest Victim of China's Food Safety Scandals: Celebrities

Clorox offers $5K to wipe out 'toilet torcher'

The Clorox Company is offering a $5,000 reward and a year's supply of toilet cleaning products for tips leading to the arrest of San Francisco's notorious portable potty pyromaniac.

The Oakland-based chemical company deployed a "potty patrol" team in the city yesterday to make residents aware of its offer marrying marketing and community service.

Since November, more than two dozen construction site toilets have been set on fire in the city, causing an estimated $50,000 in property damage and leaving a trail of foul-smelling evidence

Just Joking

Gotta love a man who can crack a joke with himself as the patsy!

President Obama joked that repugicans would like to see him get lost in the Amazon.

Obama made the crack last Saturday in the Oval Office after a meeting with Brazil's president.

Obama said he would like to visit Brazil and thinks he should visit Rio de Janeiro, where he understands the beaches are nice.

Then he said he would love a trip to the Amazon. He joked that he suspects the repugican cabal would like to see him travel through the Amazon and maybe get lost for while.

Obama has faced growing criticism from repugicans over his budget proposal.

Teenagers Know Everything ...

Well, this just emphasizes the fact that teenagers, despite what they may tell you, don't know much about the world and about what might be a good or bad idea.

A Ukiah teenager has been hospitalized after being branded.

The kicker: he asked his friends to do it to him.

Teenager Hospitalized After Branding

Humor from Down Under

An old Greek man lived alone in Oakleigh.
He wanted to dig his tomato
garden, but it was hard work for his advanced years as the ground was very
hard.
His only son, Costa, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote
a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Costa,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden
plot.
If you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the
plot for me.
Love Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.


Dear Papa,
Don't dig up the garden. That's where I buried the bodies.
Love Costa


At 4 A.M. the next morning, Federal agents and Victoria Police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the
old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from
his son.


Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.
That's the best I could do under the
circumstances.
Love Costa

Amazing Earth Facts

Unusual Celebrations and Holidays

We have got a lot to celebrate today because ...

Today happens to be:

Corn Dog Day
Maple Syrup Day
National Quilting Day

and

NAW-RUZ*

(* Don't ask me, I don't know either)

Chaos on freeway as motorists scoop up cash

Like a scene from a movie, $1,700 is tossed during a police chase on a San Diego freeway.

You know drugs were involved, don't you?!

Cash-strapped former CEO now delivering pizza

Taking the bloat out of inept and corrupt corporation executives.

Here is one success story.

Ken Karpman, who once made $750K a year, is now is making $7.29 an hour.

Now, let's get the rest of them out of their 'comfort' zones.

That's $218 instead of $165, thank you

Documents turned over late Friday show AIG paid $218 million in bonuses last weekend, higher than the $165 million that was previously disclosed, said the office of Connecticut's Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, who had issued a subpoena.

If this keeps up these AIG shysters will be even more hated than the shrub in America.

Just A Fact:

54% of people polled, believe Aliens are real.

Real Time


Opening Monologue for March 20, 2009

New Rules


'Something for nothing' ... Real Time with Bill Maher
For March 20, 2009.

Did you know ...

Puppies lick your face because they are instinctively looking for scraps of food.

(yes, yes, and they love you, too)

Life Commentary

The reason gas stations sell food, of course, is that the supermarkets are busy cashing checks. The supermarkets have to cash checks because the banks are busy mailing unsolicited credit cards to everybody in the Western Hemisphere.
The result is that very few people fix cars
.

*****

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.

~ Dave Barry

No bull ...

... Vets deliver bull triplets

A Red Angus cow has given birth to rare triplet bull calves at Washington State University's College of Veterinary Medicine. Statistically, the odds of living cattle triplets of the same sex being born are about one in 700,000 births.

All three calves were in a breach position and three WSU veterinarians and five students were needed for the delivery on Tuesday. The calves weighed between 36 and 41 pounds apiece. The mother and calves are doing fine.

The calves are being called numbers 1, 2, and 3, based on their delivery order. There has been a suggestion they be named Saint, Patrick and Day to commemorate the holiday of their birth.

Etiquette Brawl

Police in Rocklin, California said a dispute over bowling etiquette led one man to assault another with a 16-pound ball, knocking out one of the man's teeth.

They said a 24-year-old man hit a man in the face with the bowling ball during a melee involving six bowlers at the Rocklin AMF Lanes.

Two groups got into a fist fight about 12:40 a.m. Thursday after two bowlers approached the lane at the same time. They couldn't agree which should go first.

Rocklin police Sgt. Terry Jewell said the victim was treated for facial injuries at a local hospital. Doctors reinserted the tooth, hoping it will reattach itself.

The suspect was being held on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon in Placer County Jail.

*****

Redneck etiquette lessons from real life ...

And I Quote

It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

~ President Harry S. Truman

Saturday Jam

Today's Saturday jam includes:

Incense and Peppermints

The Strawberry Alarm Clock

Simon Says

The 1910 Fruitgum Company

Yummy Yummy Yummy

The Ohio Express

Snoopy versus the Red Baron

The Royal Guardsmen

Build Me Up, Buttercup

The Valentines

That's five from the bubblegum groups ... deal with it.

By the way - do you recognize the lead singer of the Valentines - no ... well here's a clue - think " ... I'm on a highway to hell ..." - got it now?

President Obama's Weekly Address



Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Washington, DC

Last week, I spent a few days in California, talking with ordinary Americans in town halls and in the places where they work. We talked about their struggles, and we talked about their hopes. At the end of the day, these men and women weren’t as concerned with the news of the day in Washington as they were about the very real and very serious challenges their families face every day: whether they’ll have a job and a paycheck to count on; whether they’ll be able to pay their medical bills or afford college tuition; whether they’ll be able to leave their children a world that’s safer and more prosperous than the one we have now.

Those are the concerns I heard about in California. They are the concerns I’ve heard about in letters from people throughout this country for the last two years. And they are the concerns addressed in the budget I sent to Congress last month.

With the magnitude of the challenges we face, I don’t just view this budget as numbers on a page or a laundry list of programs. It’s an economic blueprint for our future – a vision of America where growth is not based on real estate bubbles or overleveraged banks, but on a firm foundation of investments in energy, education, and health care that will lead to a real and lasting prosperity.

These investments are not a wish list of priorities that I picked out of thin air – they are a central part of a comprehensive strategy to grow this economy by attacking the very problems that have dragged it down for too long: the high cost of health care and our dependence on foreign oil; our education deficit and our fiscal deficit.

Now, as the House and the Senate take up this budget next week, the specific details and dollar amounts in this budget will undoubtedly change. That’s a normal and healthy part of the process.

But when all is said and done, I expect a budget that meets four basic principles:

First, it must reduce our dependence on dangerous foreign oil and finally put this nation on a path to a clean, renewable energy future. There is no longer a doubt that the jobs and industries of tomorrow will involve harnessing renewable sources of energy. The only question is whether America will lead that future. I believe we can and we will, and that’s why we’ve proposed a budget that makes clean energy the profitable kind of energy, while investing in technologies like wind power and solar power; advanced biofuels, clean coal, and fuel-efficient cars and trucks that can be built right here in America.

Second, this budget must renew our nation’s commitment to a complete and competitive education for every American child. In this global economy, we know the countries that out-educate us today will out-compete us tomorrow, and we know that our students are already falling behind their counterparts in places like China. That is why we have proposed investments in childhood education programs that work; in high standards and accountability for our schools; in rewards for teachers who succeed; and in affordable college education for anyone who wants to go. It is time to demand excellence from our schools so that we can finally prepare our workforce for a 21st century economy.

Third, we need a budget that makes a serious investment in health care reform – reform that will bring down costs, ensure quality, and guarantee people their choice of doctors and hospitals. Right now, there are millions of Americans who are just one illness or medical emergency away from bankruptcy. There are businesses that have been forced to close their doors or ship jobs overseas because they can’t afford insurance. Medicare costs are consuming our federal budget. Medicaid is overwhelming our state budgets. So to those who say we have to choose between health care reform and fiscal discipline, I say that making investments now that will dramatically lower health care costs for everyone won’t add to our budget deficit in the long-term – it is one of the best ways to reduce it.

Finally, this budget must reduce that deficit even further. With the fiscal mess we’ve inherited and the cost of this financial crisis, I’ve proposed a budget that cuts our deficit in half by the end of my first term. That’s why we are scouring every corner of the budget and have proposed $2 trillion in deficit reductions over the next decade. In total, our budget would bring discretionary spending for domestic programs as a share of the economy to its lowest level in nearly half a century. And we will continue making these tough choices in the months and years ahead so that as our economy recovers, we do what we must to bring this deficit down.

I will be discussing each of these principles next week, as Congress takes up the important work of debating this budget. I realize there are those who say these plans are too ambitious to enact. To that I say that the challenges we face are too large to ignore. I didn’t come here to pass on our problems to the next President or the next generation – I came here to solve them.

The American people sent us here to get things done, and at this moment of great challenge, they are watching and waiting for us to lead. Let’s show them that we are equal to the task before us, and let’s pass a budget that puts this nation on the road to lasting prosperity.

Wisconsin jewelry robbers fleeced as they flee

Two robbers leaving a Milwaukee jewelry store with cash and gems didn't get far with the loot - another group of thieves robbed them as the pair left the crime scene.

Police Lt. Thomas Welch says a fight broke out in the street Wednesday before the groups got in vehicles and a chase ensued.

Welch says officers pulled over both vehicles and arrested four people, including the original two robbers, ages 40 and 31, and two men from the second group, of ages 22 and 27. All four are from Illinois.

But he says police didn't recover any cash or jewelry and are searching for more suspects.

No estimate was available of the value of the stolen items.

*****

Reality writes the best comedy sketches - like this slapstick routine related above.

Hooked On Facts

Today's six facts are;

Queen Elizabeth II has a rubber duck in her private bath with an inflatable crown.
It is now possible to print human skin with an inkjet printer.
In 1956, 80% of American households had a refrigerator - only 8% of British households did.
To sell your home faster -and for more money - paint it yellow.
The Australian, $5, $10, $20, $50, and $100 notes are made of plastic.
The state of Virginia extends further west than the state of West Virginia.

Bonus fact: A car traveling 100mph would take 29 million years to reach the nearest star.

Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Toronto, Ontario, Canada
London, England, United Kingdom
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Tweed Heads, New South Wales, Australia
Galway, Galway, Ireland
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Stockholm, Stockholms Lan, Sweden
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan
Coquitlam, British Columbia, Canada
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
Adelaide, South Australia, Australia

as well as Hong Kong, Korea, India, Germany, Denmark and South Africa

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Just relax and accept the fact that today is going to be an easy, enjoyable day.

That, I can do!