Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

The Daily Drift

The Daily Drift
Today's horoscope says:
You're the go-to authority figure today, no matter where you are or what you happen to be doing.
You're also a formidable opponent, should it come to that, especially when you know you're right.
If someone decides that today is the perfect day to let you know that you're not as high and mighty as you think you are -- well, it will turn out to be the perfect day to let them know that you're all that and more.
Some of our readers today have been in:
Sydney, New South wales, Australia
Chatswood, New South Wales, Australia
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Moscow, Moskva, Russia
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Rajkot, Gujarat, India
Vadodara, Gujarat India
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
San Salvador, San Salvador, El Salvador
Taipei, Taipei, Taiwan
Bremen, Bremen, Germany
Salmon Arm, British Columbia, Canada
Bologna, Emilia-Romagna, Italy
London, England, United Kingdom

as well as Egypt, Sweden, South Africa, and the United States in cities such as Boyd, York, New Orleans, San Antonio, Parkville and more

Today is Sunday, April 4, the 94th day of 2010.
There are 271 days left in the year.

Today's unusual holiday or celebration is:
World Rat Day

April is Confederate History Month


Upping the cute factor

Hungry puppy's special dinner dance

This little dog has a unique way of showing his appreciation for good food. 

Daily Comic Relief


As The World Turns

As The World Turns
When a 16-year-old girl married a militant Islamist separatist entangled in a long-running and bloody struggle against Russian government forces, her relatives in this dusty North Caucasus village say they disowned her immediately.

Monkey on shoulder causes bus accident

It can happen only in India. A man drove a minibus with a monkey on his shoulder and as the monkey jumped out of the window it distracted the driver who rammed his vehicle into a house in the capital, police said on Thursday.

Kumar Prabhakaran, 22, ran a minibus in west Delhi and the monkey was his regular companion on the bus, a police officer said. He was driving smoothly but suddenly the monkey, that was sitting on his shoulder, decided to jump out of the vehicle.

'In a bid to catch the monkey, the driver lost control over the vehicle and it rammed into a house in Vikaspuri area of west Delhi,' the officer said. There were two people on board the bus when the incident took place but nobody was injured.

Police have warned Prabhakaran against taking his pet in the bus. 'We have strictly told him not to take the monkey in the bus as it can create a big problem some day,' the officer added.

The State Of The Nation

The State Of The Nation
Trucking along
(no thanks to the repugicans)

Local Hospitality

Local Hospitality

Davidson Fire Department looking for volunteers

Growing demand on the Davidson Fire Department has prompted the department to reach outside its boundaries for the first time to recruit experienced volunteers.

Man accused of raping acquaintance

A Huntersville man has been charged with raping a woman in Lincoln County.

Firefighters Battle Wildfires In Western NC

Officials say three fires continued to burn Saturday, covering about 83 acres. That's on top of 12 fires Friday covering 96 acres. 

Nation Shudders At Large Block of Uninterrupted Text

WASHINGTON—Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.
Dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California gazed helplessly at the frightening chunk of print, unsure of what to do next. Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words.
"Why won't it just tell me what it's about?" said Boston resident Charlyne Thomson, who was bombarded with the overwhelming mass of black text late Monday afternoon.
via the Onion, Nation Shudders At Large Block of Uninterrupted Text
Trouble is they most likely correct.

A wee bit o'humor

A wee bit o'humor tae bright'n yer day

Meet the students from Gunn High School.

The Phelps clan did.

The haters from Westboro Church decided to protest at Gunn  High School in Palo Alto.
But, the students at Gunn High were having  none of the hate.
These kids will make you proud.

Lunatic Fringe

Lunatic Fringe
Typical RepugicanWingnuts
Liars and Fools
CNN's Erick Erickson says Obama wants a "safety net of authoritarianism," because Democrats love communists.
Erick you're an idiot.

WingNutDaily suggests that Obama is deliberately provoking civil unrest to establish dictatorship.
Nope, that'd be you and your cadre there, buddy.

Lush Dimbulb lies "Our country is being overthrown from within".
Wrong, you tried that with the shrub - we stopped you.

Lush Dimbulb lies Obama "willingly, purposely governs against the will of the people", "oversees the destruction of the private sector".
Wrong again asshole. The will of the people is loud and clear - they don't like you and your butt-buddies - you are just blind, deaf and dumb (as in stupid ... because lord knows you shoot off at the mouth constantly) to notice.

Guest host on Glen Brick's radio program says caller "got it just right" when she said Obama "wants to destroy America".
Playing a taped conversation with your self is so kindergarten.

CNN's Erick Erickson threatens to "pull out [his] wife’s shotgun on census workers.
Please do and while you are in prison bend over for the soap in the shower ... your fellow prisoners will like you all the more for it.

Michelle Malkin calls for a "Spartacus-type revolt".
Yeah, that's the ticket ... stupid bitch.

Faux's Sean Handjob boasts about Tea Parties and "Tim McVeigh wannabes" opposing Democrats.
And you wonder why these people are dangerous?

Michele Bachmann (retard-Minnesota) continues to falsely warn that senior citizens are in danger from "death panels" under President Obama's new health care legislation.
She can't help it she's dumber than Sarah (I know, but she is).

John Bolton says Obama is undermining American sovereignty
Then why is our standing in the opinion of the world higher than is was for the eight years of the shrub? It fact it is always higher when the repugicans are out of power ... why is that I wonder!?

Wingnuts are trying to rewrite history, literally

Democrats and all sane people need to understand that these people aren't just laughable, they aren't just nuts. They're dangerous. They're doing what the Soviets used to do. It's ironic how much the wingnuts like to accuse everyone else of being Socialists. (And of course, when they say Socialist, they mean "Soviet.") The wingnuts are simply doing what they do best - accusing us of being what they already are.

Take a look at some of the lies they are trying to pawn off as history:
The Jamestown settlers? Socialists.
Founding Father Alexander Hamilton? Ill-informed professors made up all that bunk about him advocating a strong central government.

Theodore Roosevelt? Another socialist.
Franklin D. Roosevelt? Not only did he not end the Great Depression, he also created it.

Joe McCarthy? Liberals lied about him. He was a hero.
Be afraid, be very afraid. To use one of their favorite lines ... 'if they succeed it will be the end of civilization' - not just as we know it, but the end period!

Vatican cries some moar

Article Preview
A Jewish group and victims of Catholic clergy abuse have expressed alarm over a Vatican official who they said hurled a provocative insult by equating the church paedophilia scandal with anti-Semitism.

In a Friday service, Vatican preacher Father Raniero Cantalamessa read aloud a letter from a "Jewish friend" who wrote that the "collective blame" involving stereotyping and transfer of personal responsibility to the church over the sex scandal reminded him of the most shameful aspects of anti-Semitism.

Yeah, right. Maybe we should stand back and say nothing about the church covering up the abuse. Not.

Interesting In General

Interesting In General

Thai police force takes monkey on the beat

A Thai police force has begun taking a monkey dressed in officer's uniform on patrol each day to help improve relations with Muslim separatists.

The five-year-old pig-tailed macaque was adopted after policemen in Yaha province in southern Thailand found him injured with a broken arm.

Trainers taught Santisuk, which means peace in Thai, to pick up coconuts and he now lends a hand collecting the fruit with residents.

The monkey also helps supervise a police checkpoint and his boss says he has made it a much happier place.

Motorists now stop to play with Santisuk, rather than getting angry at the hold-up.

Other forces are now considering introducing monkeys to better their image in the troubled province.

There's a photo gallery here.

Man too fat to face food scam charges

A 600-pound Florida man accused of stealing food and scamming restaurants has been unable to face his charges in court because he is too sick and fat. George Jolicoeur, 38, remained in a bed in his nursing home while his lawyer pleaded no contest to five petty theft charges in an Orlando court.

The offences were all committed in 2007, when a more mobile Jolicoeur on five occasions walked into a restaurant or food store and claimed he had been sold substandard food. On each of the occasions, Jolicoeur demanded large refunds from the store.

The court heard Jolicoeur was eventually arrested after he marched into a 7-Eleven store and claimed he had bought $50 in beef jerky that turned out to be mouldy. According to court documents, Jolicoeur told his arresting officer: "The beef jerky got me."

Jolicoeur has been convicted of similar scams in the past, including one in 2005 where he claimed to have found hair in six milkshakes.

Defence attorney James D. Phillips Jr. told the judge his client now required a respirator to breathe and was too ill to attend a court hearing.

Jolicoeur’s medical condition was not specified but the court heard his health was unlikely to improve. He was spared a jail term but ordered to pay $1,365 in legal costs and unspecified damages.

Polish man survives after 2-inch nail pierces heart

A 30-year-old man from Poland is in stable condition after he was accidentally shot in the heart with a 2-inch nail.

The man’s heart was pierced as he was nailing boards with a co-worker at a carpentry shop. The shop’s owner said the men were working together, when suddenly, they ran into each other resulting in the nail gun going off.

Doctors said the man was in very serious condition when he arrived at the hospital and it was minutes, not hours, that decided if he was going to survive.

Doctors performed surgery to remove the nail and the man is expected to make a full recovery.

Gecko survives week in cold fridge after being packed in apple bag

A gecko survived a week in a fridge after accidentally ending up in a bag of apples. Wendy Newbury, from Bideford, said she was "rather shocked" when she took the last of the apples out of the bag in the fridge and found the small lizard.

She said: "This thing just fell out the bag and it looked dead. It then must have started warming up and he started moving around.

"He was such a sweet and amazing little thing and me and my husband, Brian, are both animal lovers so we didn't want anything to happen to it."

Wendy said she had taken in stray cats and chickens before but wasn't sure what care a gecko needed. So the couple put holes in a plastic container and took the gecko to Bideford's Torbridge Veterinary Centre.

Veterinary assistant Stephen Warren said the gecko was lively and appeared to be in good heath — particularly after spending a week refrigerated.

The vets believed the gecko probably originated in Asia meaning it may have travelled thousands of miles to get to North Devon. Although the apples Wendy bought from Waitrose in Holsworthy say they're from Kent.

Scientific Minds Want To Know

Scientific Minds Want To Know

Neptune may have eaten a planet and stolen its moon
Neptune may have polished off a super-Earth that once roamed the outer solar system and stolen its moon to boot. The brutal deed could explain mysterious heat radiating from the icy planet and the odd orbit of its moon Triton.

It's The Economy Stupid

It's The Economy Stupid

How auto dealers can trick you

Whatever you do, don't give up the keys to your current vehicle while you're car shopping. 

Banks go after debtors' paychecks

One delinquent borrower has had more than $10,000 taken out of his wages.  

Why your resumé never got a reply

Total silence from companies that are supposedly hiring is now normal. 

Bunny mystery puzzles New York officials

Bunny mystery puzzles New York officials

Wild cottontails are missing from Manhattan's Central Park, and experts aren't sure why.  

Underrated national parks in the U.S

Underrated national parks in the U.S.

These parks all have amazing scenery without the huge crowds or expensive entrance fees.  

Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

Early in the study, Bobo's elevated mood and excessive chattering made him quite popular among the other chimpanzees. But researchers claimed that his increased irritability, short temper, and absenteeism at the jungle gym did not go unnoticed.

In Matters Of Health

In Matters Of Health

Flip Flops Can Do Your Knees Some Good

Flip Flops Can Do Your Knees Some Good
A new study has found that when wearing flip-flops, there is 15% less load on the knees than in other more stable shoes.

Calorie-slashing secrets for dining out

Calorie-slashing secrets for dining out

Give these special instructions at popular eateries to avoid consuming excess calories and fat.  

KFC is trying to kill it's customers

Article Preview
Last August, we wrote about the "Double Down," a mysteriously tempting (and potentialy lethal) new food item being tested by KFC. For those coming late to the story, it's bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken.

When KFC announced the decision to go live with the Double Down the other day, we weren't sure they weren't playing a April Fools gag. But no, they truly are going nationwide with the delicacy on April 12.

The sandwich will be available in two forms. The Original Recipe sandwich will set you back about 540 calories, 32g of fat and 1380mg of sodium. The not-as-bad-for-you Grilled Double Down totals 460 calories, 23g of fat and 1430mg of sodium.

Odds and Sods

Odds and Sods
Patron saint of hemorrhoids
A seventh century Irish monk, St. Fiacre, was the patron saint for hemorrhoid sufferers. He developed hemorrhoids from digging in his garden, one day, and sat on a stone which gave him a miraculous cure. The stone survives to this day with the imprint of his hemorrhoids and is visited by many hoping for a similar cure. The disease was often called “St. Fiacre’s curse” in the Middle Ages.

In Cop News

Oops! Bad zip code thwarts inmate's drug smuggling plan
Prosecutors say an Ohio inmate's letter to his mother included detailed instructions on how to sneak drugs to him - but lacked the correct ZIP code.