Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Bad News I'm Afraid

Bad News for Salmon Lovers:

West Coast fisheries managers have voted to cancel all commercial salmon fishing off the California and Oregon coasts this year. The Pacific Fishery Management Council voted Thursday to allow limited recreational fishing of coho salmon on holiday weekends off the Oregon coast.


Scientists and government officials are expecting this year's West Coast salmon season to be one of the worst in history. Although commercial salmon fishing off the Washington coast is scheduled to begin May 1, fisheries managers do not predict a good season off either the north or south Pacific coasts.


The council's decision must be confirmed by the National Marine Fisheries Service.

Be Conservative - And stay out of college.

Right wing hooey will keep you out of college!
Or at least learning from the "American Government" textbook will.

A CIVICS LESSON: High school senior Matthew LaClair of Kearny, N.J., brought his concerns about political bias in a civics textbook to the attention of a think tank that promotes science. It issued a scathing report about the textbook.


HIS SUPPORT: Legal scholars and scientists say "American Government" by conservatives James Wilson and John Dilulio presents a skewed view of topics from global warming to separation of church and state.


NEXT STEP: The publisher now says it will review the book, as will the College Board, which oversees college-level Advanced Placement courses used in high schools.

It's a Plug, so sue me!

Be sure to stop be Forum Naturally and see what everyone is talking about.

The "Fifth" Fuel

Last May, Duke Energy floated a facinating proposal to the NC Utilities Commission. In it, they suggested that they would promote energy efficiency as a "fifth fuel" by sponsoring education programs and providing subsidies for the purchase of more energy-efficient appliances and devices.

So far, so good. Where it gets weird is in the reward Duke sought for being virtuous: a new fee (starting at $15 per customer per year) that would compensate the utility for the electricity it didn't sell because of decreased demand. That fee was based not only on program costs or unsold wattage, but also on the cost of the power plants the utility would have had to build if customers didn't conserve.

That's not how Duke Energy phrased it, of course: Duke Energy's spin was that they would be generously allowing consumers to save 10% of the cost of producing and supplying the energy they didn't use. But turn that around, and you see what's really going on: Duke essentially wanted to sell this "fifth fuel" - ghost power produced by ghost plants - for almost as much as they sold real power produced by real plants that they themselves built. That's a neat trick!

You would think that Duke Energy was trying to head off any attempt by the Utility Commission or the General Assembly to "decouple" electricity rates - that is, to set in place a system whereby utilities receive a set revenue even if demand decreases. This is usually done by promising to increase the profit the utility receives for each unit sold - provided that the utility actively promotes conservation and efficiency. Such increases almost never include the costs of building new plants, however, so you've got to hand it to Duke Energy for trying to widen the range of the debate.

NYC Cops face random Steroid Testing

Police officers in New York City are going to face random tests for steroid abuse.


Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said Wednesday that the testing is going to start this summer. Any officer who tests positive for steroids could be disciplined or fired.


The decision to give the tests follows an investigation of a pharmacy suspected of peddling steroids without prescriptions. The customers allegedly included police bodybuilders and six officers have been suspended or given desk duty after testing positive for steroids.



*****



I would submit that such testing be required for all government and public servant positions nationwide because abuse of steroids is not limited to athletes nor to NYC alone.



All it takes is one 'officer' under the influence of 'Roid Rage' with a gun ... and you get the idea.
It has already happened and has been 'smoothed over' on more than one occasion - so test'em and fire'em should they test positive the first time - no ifs ands or buts.

French Fashion Industry Against Anorexia

Key members of the French fashion industry signed a government-backed charter Wednesday aimed at fighting against anorexia and promoting healthy body images.


The document, backed by the Health Ministry, asks signatories to work toward "a diversity of body representations" and "not to show images of people that could help promote a model of extreme thinness."


The international fashion industry has drawn criticism for stressing the super-thin look. Concerns about anorexia have grown in France - and around the world - since the reportedly anorexia-related deaths of several South American models in 2006, including Brazilian Ana Carolina Reston.


Guidelines have been in place in France since the 1980s to regulate French modeling agencies, including mandatory medical visits for models under 16.


The nonbinding charter was signed by groups including the French Couture Federation, the French Federation for Women's Pret-a-Porter and the Union of Modeling Agencies, as well as some representatives of advertising and media.


Officials in other countries have taken much more dramatic measures to promote healthy body images. The Madrid fashion show bans women whose body mass-to-height ratio is below 18, while Milan bans models below 18.5.
However, another much tougher, and more contested, measure against eating disorders is to go before France's parliament this month.


Valerie Boyer, a lawmaker from President Nicolas Sarkozy's party, has proposed a bill to make it possible to convict people responsible for Web sites or fashion ads that promote anorexia, with penalties of up to two years in prison and over $47,000 in fines.


The bill is set to go before the National Assembly next week.


The French Health Ministry says about 30,000 to 40,000 people suffer from anorexia in France, the vast majority women.



*****



Don't know about you but this smacks a bit of the hypocritical.


While the idea is a good one and long overdue I do not see any industry self regulating itself out of mega profits ... which is what this could do if they actually did as the non-binding agreement states. To see how well an industry self-regulates one need not look further than the Oil Industry - and we know how they 'regulate' themselves now don't we?!

Truisms

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very
often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than
standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you are probably too
sick to travel.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.


12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel
so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, DIE ANYWAY.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a beer in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks
before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on .

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that
word would be 'meetings.'

27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental
illness.'

28. People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.


31. Never lick a steak knife.

32.. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.

34 . There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age
eleven.

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, reg ardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,
deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

36. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not
a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never
fails.)

37. Your friends love you anyway.

38. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
to tell the difference..

Alligator Stands On Hind Legs

Daigooro is an alligator that stands upright when doused with water. He lives at Marine Plaza Miyajima in Hiroshima Prefecture, Japan. From Mainichi Daily News:

The 80-centimeter-long male alligator was first spotted standing up about two years ago, when water that a keeper poured on plants in his cage splashed on him...

From this year, Daigoro, a three-year-old dwarf caiman alligator from South America, has been entertaining visitors by performing the stand-up show every noon when a keeper pours water on it.

Now, if that don't beat all!

Sad News

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.



He was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.



Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described the Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.


Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.



Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.



The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

How to make a Conservative.

How Conservatives are made in Seven Easy Steps!

1. Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb for the banana.

2. As soon as the ape touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result - all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

3. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will prevent it even though no water sprays them.

4. Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

5. Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The other newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

6. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

7. After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

BECAUSE ... "that's the way it's always been done around here."

Viola, a Conservative is born.

Daily Quote

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.

~ Johann von Goethe

Arid period

Sorry for the arid period on this blog, but I have been a tad busy of late.
Life is like that sometime.

It's Always Sunny in Carolina

It is a sunny morning and the birds are singing. Life is good.
But ...

Actually there is no, but, but I thought a pregnant pause would get your attention.

How many of you participate in online forums discussions? And have you noticed a severe turn toward censorship of any opinion(s) not in the ’conservative’ vein on them - I have. This is bad, bad, bad, censorship of any kind is bad.

I am still working on setting up a forum somewhat akin to HipForums - in that they are an omibus type of forum for every topic imaginable only geared to a general audience and not just the twentysomethings as are HipForums. We will see if I can get them to work.