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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Top 10 Mysterious People

Number 1: The Green Children of Woolpit
Greenkidz

The Green Children of Woolpit were two children who appeared in the village of Woolpit in Suffolk, UK, in the 12th century.

The children were brother and sister and they had green colored skin. Their appearance was normal in all other areas. They spoke an unrecognized language and refused to eat anything other than pitch from bean pods.

Eventually their skin lost its green color. When they learned English they explained that they were from the ‘Land of St Martin’ which was a dark place because the sun never rose far above the horizon. They claimed that they were tending their father’s herd and followed a river of light when they heard the sounds of bells – finding themselves in Woolpit.

Some of the more unusual theories proposed for the origin of the children are that they were Hollow Earth children, parallel dimension children, or Extraterrestrial children.

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Emirates shake off financial woes for national fete

The United Arab Emirates celebrated a national holiday on Wednesday, with its stock markets shuttered after days of volatile trading.

What is that ring around the moon?

What is that ring around the moon?

A vivid halo around the near-full moon sends people online to learn what it is.

From the "This is bogus!" Department:

A sign of the times: Some toy drives check immigration status.

They don't claim to know who's been naughty or nice, but some Houston charities are asking whether children are in the country legally before giving them toys.

In a year when more families than ever have asked for help, several programs providing xmas gifts for needy children require at least one member of the household to be a U.S. citizen. Others ask for proof of income or rely on churches and schools to suggest recipients.

The Salvation Army and a charity affiliated with the Houston Fire Department are among those that consider immigration status, asking for birth certificates or Social Security cards for the children.

The point isn't to punish the children but to ensure that their parents are either citizens, legal immigrants or working to become legal residents, said Lorugene Young, whose Outreach Program Inc. is one of three groups that distribute toys collected by firefighters.

"It's not our desire to turn anyone down," she said. "Those kids are not responsible if they are here illegally. It is the parents' responsibility."

So ...
Before you give any money to the Salvation Army this year, remember, they run a program where kids are only given toys if they can present a valid birth certification or immigration papers, so that the children of illegal immigrants are punished for their parents' deeds. At xmas. While other kids are given toys. That your donation paid for.

In a year when more families than ever have asked for help, several programs providing xmas gifts for needy children require at least one member of the household to be a U.S. citizen. Others ask for proof of income or rely on churches and schools to suggest recipients.

The Salvation Army and a charity affiliated with the Houston Fire Department are among those that consider immigration status, asking for birth certificates or Social Security cards for the children...

The supporters of christianity are really the 'nicest' of people!?!

A modern twist on an ancient process

Removing a loose tooth by tying a piece of string to a door handle and then pulling it shut used to be common practice. However, it seems the method has moved on with the times.

As this video shows, one American family - who are not identifiable - have swapped the door for a remote control car to help remove their daughter's wobbly milk tooth.

Ouch!

Jesus Christ thrown out of Court

From the "Give me a break" Department:

In Alabama: Jesus Christ dumped from jury pool for disruption.

Court officials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn't live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. The woman, previously named Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was sent to Judge Clyde Jones's courtroom for a criminal case Monday.

Court officials told The Birmingham News Tuesday that the 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive and kept asking questions instead of answering them.

Court administrator Sandra Turner said people there were shocked when the woman insisted her name was Jesus Christ and some potential jurors laughed out loud when her name was called.

Some people are idiots.

Federals do battle with naked Confederates

''The Union pickets didn't know what to think of soldiers fighting as naked as jaybirds," Confederate Lt. Bennett H. Young wrote in an unusual report to his superiors about a skirmish between Union and Confederate forces on the Cumberland River in western Kentucky on July 2, 1863. Still, it was an accurate description of what happened.

Confederate Gen. John Hunt Morgan was dashing, handsome, bold and brave, a beloved, trusted leader to the young men who rode by his side. That summer Morgan impatiently waited for an assignment to disrupt the buildup of Union forces aiming to split Tennessee into pieces. Morgan lobbied for permission to raid behind Union lines, but his timid commander, Gen. Braxton Bragg, approved only a small raid into Kentucky.

In late June, Morgan's men scouted the rain-swollen Cumberland River marking the border between Tennessee and Kentucky. The normally placid river was now half a mile wide, choked with floating logs and other storm runoff. Anxious to get his raid on the road, Morgan began crossing his men on July 2 when the river was still overflowing its banks. He had more than 2,500 with him, 1,000 more than his orders authorized.

The impetuous Morgan should have waited for the swirling river to fall, as it was an impediment to keeping his men together, but because of the flood conditions, the Federals on the Kentucky side had relaxed their patrols. The Federals believed no one would try such a dangerous crossing.

Morgan's men carefully wrapped their cap-and-ball weapons and paper cartridges in rubber blankets and tossed them into make-shift rafts and leaky boats. Many forgot modesty, stripping off their clothes to keep them dry. They jumped into the river, literally swimming bareback or holding onto their horses' tails.

It is hard to hide 2,500 men, scores of wagons and hundreds of mules swimming a river. Union patrols discovered the crossing and rushed to the bank to start shooting at the men in the boats that they could see. What they could not see was that hundreds of Confederates had already landed and were now hidden from view by the bank's slope and trees.

Nineteen-year-old Lt. Bennett Young of Morgan's command, who would gain fame the following year for leading a raid on St. Albans, Vt., remembered: "Those who had clothing on rushed ashore into line. Those who swam with horses, unwilling to be laggard, not halting to dress, seized their cartridge boxes and guns and dashed upon the enemy. The strange sight of naked men engaging in combat amazed the enemy."

Bennett's assessment was accurate. Although the Federals on the Kentucky side of the Cumberland were superior in numbers and had heard reports of large numbers of Confederate cavalrymen approaching from the south, Morgan's crossing at several locations had confused them. By the time the Union forces had organized, Morgan was already in Kentucky and moving north.

Morgan and his men would later cross the Ohio River, clearly against Bragg's orders to bring supplies back from Kentucky, and spend the next three weeks raiding southern Indiana and Ohio. Many of the men, including Morgan himself, would be captured and imprisoned. The Confederate high command was enraged at Morgan's insubordination, but the raid entered Civil War history as one of the boldest ever attempted by a cavalry command.

July 1863 must have been a hot month as another nude battle was fought in North Carolina within weeks of Morgan's skirmish in Kentucky.

The July 26 Battle of Boon's Mill, a few miles east of the important railroad bridge crossing of the Roanoke River at Weldon, pitted a few score Confederates against two regiments of Union soldiers trying to take and burn the bridge. Had the Federals succeeded, the steady stream of supply trains coming up from Wilmington, N.C., bound for the Confederate depot at Petersburg, Va., would have dried up.

Learning of the impending Union raid, Confederate Gen. Matt Ransom rushed from Richmond to take command of the troops in the area. Ransom was scouting the approach the Federals would take to the bridge when he saw them and they saw him. He rushed back toward the Boon's Mill pond, yelling for the soldiers to take up the planks of the bridge behind him. As he rode over the bridge, Ransom realized a large number of his men were skinny-dipping, having ignored the rumors that Federals were on their way.

The outnumbered Confederates had only two cannons to the Federals' nine guns, but they held out all day until the demoralized Federals retreated, giving up the opportunity to rob the Confederacy of those vital supplies.

The lesson learned from these two nude battles still applies today - never fight naked Southerners armed with pistols, rifles and cannons.

*****

Don't forget swords, knives.

Leaked repugican memo details how to impede a health care vote using arcane Senate procedures

They're afraid of a vote because they know that more than 50 Senators would vote for the reform. Even though President Obama was elected on a platform of reforming health care, and even though a solid majority of Americans favor the public option.

Party of NO strikes again.

Judge cancels trial, says new courthouse "toxic"

A judge in Jonesborough has canceled a scheduled homicide trial, saying people are having pronounced allergic reactions inside the Washington County Justice Center.

Judge cancels trial, says new courthouse "toxic"

Kid tries to buy beer and fails at 27 businesses

Police in Alcoa say their beer sting was a complete failure.
They're delighted.
Authorities had an underage person try to buy beer from 27 businesses, including convenience markets, restaurants and food stores.

Kid tries to buy beer and fails at 27 businesses

Unearthed Home Movie Purports To Show Marilyn Monroe Smoking Pot, Smelling Armpit

It's hardly earth-shattering, but considering the mystique that follows Marilyn Monroe after all these years, video that's never been seen is something special. Documentary filmmaker Keya Morgan has uncovered what he says is a never-before-seen home movie showing the late Marilyn Monroe, according to the person who shot it, smoking pot.

Friends you should have at work

5 friends you should have at work

Buddy up to these coworkers if you want to reduce your stress levels and boost productivity.

Mystery behind blue whales' song change

Mystery behind blue whales' song change

The largest animals on Earth are singing differently, and no one knows why.

Monday's not the toughest day of the week

Monday's not the toughest day of the week

The first day of the workweek gets a bad rap, while another is actually the most difficult.

Party-crashing more popular than ever

Party-crashing more popular than ever

Bloggers can provide a party's where and when, but wannabe crashers need social savvy to get in.

And I Quote

The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

~ Mark Twain

Jon Stewart Takes on "ClimateGate"

From Treehugger:

jon-stewart-climate-gate.jpg

I was wondering when Jon Stewart would finally weigh in on so-called 'Climate Gate' the non-controversy that the climate change deniers are clinging to as 'smoking gun' proof that climate change is some sort of a weird, massive conspiracy perpetrated by liberal elite ne'er do wells. Here's his take, after the jump.

From The 1958 Disneyland TV Show: "Magic Highway USA"

Fifty years ago (OK, 51 years ago) this is how they saw the highway system today.
A bit off here and there weren't they.

Death of rare giant star sheds light on cosmic past

One of the most massive stars known exploded in 2007, creating an unusual type of supernova that was likely common in the early universe.

Death of rare giant star sheds light on cosmic past

Cheapest healthy foods at the market

Cheapest healthy foods at the market

Eggs are better than cereal and chicken legs are a smarter choice than breasts.