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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

New Alphabet for Old People

OLD ALPHABET

A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won’t float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let’s be a bit more realistic instead.

NEW ALPHABET

A is for arthritis
B is for the bad back
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac?

D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.

H is high blood pressure–I’ d rather it be low,
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket,won’t mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia,in nerves way down low,
O is for osteo,the bones that don’t grow!

P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there’s bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow,
V is for vertigo, that’s ‘dizzy,’ you know.

W is for worry, NOW what’s going’round?
X is for X- ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I’m left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have — in my mind.

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