Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Old West Insults

He has teeth so crooked he could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.

He’s studying to be a half wit.

She’s so ugly, she’d make a freight train take a dirt road!

He’s as crazy as popcorn on a hot stove.

He was so ugly he had to sneak up on a dipper to get a drink of water.

His brain cavity wouldn’t make a drinkin’ cup for a canary.

If all his brains were dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow his nose.

She’s so ugly, she could back a buzzard off a gut-wagon.

He couldn’t track an elephant in snow.

His mustache smelled like a mildewed saddle blanket after it had been rid on a soreback hoss three hundred miles in August.

He couldn’t hit the ground with his hat in three throws.

No comments: