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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Xenu Is A Bad Guy

I learn something new every day. I was reading the Village Voice series on The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology. I always thought Xenu, the space alien, was a deity to Scientologists. That's wrong:
Scientologists do not "worship" Xenu. He is the big bad guy in their origin story -- and it's an origin story that only a minority of parishioners are even aware of, only those who have paid enough money to reach the upper level of OT III (the highest level is OT VIII). Beginning Scientologists are strictly kept in the dark about this material, and are told to avoid any mention of it on the Internet.
In a nutshell, this is what Scientology is all about:
Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard explains that 75 million years ago, a galactic overlord ruling a 76-planet federation had decided to deal with an overpopulation problem by having billions of alien creatures brought to the planet Teegeeack, which we call Earth today. That overlord, who Hubbard names Xenu or Xemu, then blew up the countless aliens with hydrogen bombs, and then trapped their remaining souls, indoctrinating these souls with the use of 3D movies of a sort, and then set them free to wander the planet.
75 million years later, these bodiless, invisible alien souls have attached themselves to us. You might have hundreds in and around your body, and they give you aches and pains, cause you disease, and generally hold you back from your full potential.
Scientologists don't even learn about Xenu until late in their indoctrination -- after they've paid about $250,000.
But if you think scientologists are whacked out crazy get a load of what mormans believe:
Yes, 'special underwear' for the true believers.
And you still think religion isn't a bunch of hooey?

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