College Students Can Earn Beer with Dead Rats

Last year, Gareth Morgan, a philanthropist in New Zealand, urged his countrymen to kill all of the cats in the country. His goals appeared to be the protection of native bird species and attracting the hatred of every cat lover in the world. He succeeded at the latter objective.

Now he has another bright idea. The city of Wellington is plagued with rats. He wants them dead, so he's offering students at Victoria University one beer for every dead rat that they turn in. He's even willing to provide the students with traps for the job.

If I were a college student in Wellington, I'd try to find a more efficient way of profiting from this system. Remember that 2 years ago, a city in China offered a bounty on piranhas, which was an invasive species in the city's waterways. So enterprising businessmen bought piranhas online, then turned them in to the city for the bounty.

Here's what I'd do:

1. Purchase rats online in bulk.

2. Hand them over to Gareth Morgan for beer.

3. Exchange the beer for cash to college students who didn't want to go to the trouble of setting traps (beer tastes terrible anyway).

4. Use the cash to buy My Little Pony comic books.

5. Attract women with my MLP swag.