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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Friday, September 30, 2016

A 53-year-old man from Bay City, Michigan, is accused of walking around his neighborhood naked, then having a fight with police that involved him crawling into a refrigerator. About 7:30pm on Sunday police responded to a house for a report of a nude man outside with a shovel. The woman who called police told them the man was in her backyard and had been hitting her house with the shovel. Police saw the man, identified as Scott W. Lange, in the yard. He had cuts on his body, was bleeding from numerous spots, and appeared to be under the influence of a drug. Lange refused to drop his shovel and attempted to enter his own nearby home, prompting police to stun him with a Taser. Officers were unable to get the shovel from Lange's hands. Lange then crawled into his house and slammed the door behind him. Officers kicked open the door and Lange threw a metal chair and the shovel at them, the shovel hitting one of the officers in the chest and knocking her off her feet. Lange then crawled into an empty refrigerator and kept tossing whatever items he could find at the officers. Lange eventually grabbed two wooden TV tables and used them as shields against officers' Tasers.
Police eventually wrestled the tables away from Lange and stunned him again, causing him to fall out of the fridge. While he was on the ground, he attempted to eat shards of broken glass. The officers were able to hoist him up and take him outside, where he was attended by medical personnel and taken to McLaren Bay Region hospital. He told police he was embarrassed, thought he was dreaming, and didn't know where he was. In all, Lange had four Taser barbs removed from him. He also had a shard of glass in his upper left thigh. Police entered Lange's home and found it in shambles, with everything broken to pieces, blood streaks on the walls, and the sinks clogged and running.
Neighbours told police Lange had been walking up and down the sidewalk while nude, going onto porches and ringing doorbells. The woman who called 911 said Lange has been her neighbor for about two years and has always been "the sweetest guy ever." Lange was discharged from the hospital at about 12:30am and police promptly took him to the Bay County Jail. Lange appeared in Bay County District Court for arraignment on three counts of assaulting, resisting, or obstructing police and single counts of assault with a dangerous weapon and indecent exposure. The judge set his bond at $7,500 cash-surety and scheduled him to appear for a preliminary examination on Tuesday, Oct. 11.

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