A backache is Man's greatest labor-saving device.
Inside of every large problem the is a small problem struggling to get out.
Two lessons are to be learned from Bees; One - Not to be idle, Two - Not to get stung.
If you're leading a dog's life, please stay off the furniture.
In an arguement with even one woman, she has you outnumbered.
The most profound commentaries on the human condition are found on the restroom walls.
The raunchiest literary porn is found on the walls in the ladies room.
Do not complain about a fly in your soup because everyone will want one, too.
Peanut butter and chocolate really don't mix.
Humor is to life what shock absorbers are to a car.
If you think you're a person of influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
At 55, everything's starting to click for me - my elbows, my neck, my knees ...
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
Most times, with free advice, you get exactly what you paid for.
Some people get carried away with their own importance. The trouble is, it's never far enough.
Middle age is usually reckoned at between 40 - 60, or whenever a night on the town takes about 15 minutes.
If you find yourself in a hole, first thing to do is to stop digging.
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will totally worship him and a cat that will totally ignore him.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
The last one out usually forgets to lock the door.
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