The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the blond and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.
"That won't work, I'm the aunt."
*****
In Vegas, a blond walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin.
Out pops a coke.
The blond looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, and of course the machine keeps popping out the drinks.
Another person walks up behind the blond and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could get a drink. The blond spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning!?"
*****
A blond and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blond bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"
Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blond gave the redhead the $50.
The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend."
The blond said, "No. A bet's a bet".
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."
To which the blond replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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