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Thursday, February 5, 2015
Native American Council Offers Amnesty to 240 Million Undocumented Whites
The Native American National Council will offer amnesty to the
estimated 240 million illegal white immigrants living in the United
At a meeting on Friday in Taos, New Mexico, Native American
leaders weighed a handful of proposals about the future of the United
State’s large, illegal European population. After a long debate, NANC
decided to extend a road to citizenship for those without criminal
records or contagious diseases.
“We will give Europeans the option to apply for Native Citizenship,”
explained Chief Sauti of the Nez Perce tribe. “To obtain legal status,
each applicant must write a heartfelt apology for their ancestors’
crimes, pay an application fee of $5,000, and, if currently on any
ancestral Native land, they must relinquish that land to NANC or pay the
market price, which we decide.
“Any illegal European who has a criminal record of any sort, minus
traffic and parking tickets, will be deported back to their native land.
Anybody with contagious diseases like HIV, smallpox, herpes, etc, will
not qualify and will also be deported.”
European colonization of North America began in the 16th and 17th
centuries, when arrivals from France, Spain and England first
established settlements on land that had been occupied by native
peoples. Explorers Lewis & Clark further opened up western lands to
settlement, which ultimately led to the creation of the Indian
Despite the large number of Europeans residing in the United States,
historical scholars mostly agree that indigenous lands were taken
illegally through war, genocide and forced displacement.
Despite the council’s decision, a native group called True Americans
lambasted the move, claiming amnesty will only serve to reward
“They all need to be deported back to Europe,” John Dakota from True
Americans said. “They came here illegally and took a giant crap on our
land. They brought disease and alcoholism, stole everything we have
because they were too lazy to improve and develop their own countries.”