Daily Funny

A burglar broke into a house and was skulking as silently as he could when he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching".

He stopped dead in his tracks and listened. A minute went by and he heard nothing, so he started to move again. "Jesus is watching", came the voice in the dark.

His eyes were adjusting to the light and he noticed a cage in the corner containing a parrot. "Was that you talking, bird?"

The parrot said, "Yes."

"What's your name little bird?"

“‘Clarence’", the parrot said.

"‘Clarence‘? who would name a bird ‘Clarence’?" the burglar laughed.

The parrot said, "The same person who named the Rottweiler ‘Jesus’"!

Something is a bit off here ...

Something is a bit off here ... can't put my finger on it, but it's there somewhere.

1893 Laptop

Just located an 1893 advertisement for a laptop (typewriter)!

Measuring 12 inches long by 6-1/2 inches wide by 2 inches deep, and weighing a mere 3 pounds, the World typewriter was roughly the same size as many of today's laptop computers. Instead of a keyboard, however, the World used a dial; users chose a character with the right hand, then used the left to operate a lever that pressed it into the paper. Yet another lever was used to make spaces between words. Even so, the World typewriter was said to be

8 Year-Old Suspended

Today, my wife showed me an article about an 8-year-old Colorado boy who is unlucky enough to attend a school run by morons. When he took a sniff of a Sharpie in class, the principal suspended him.

A teacher sent him to the principal when she noticed him smelling the marker and his clothing.

"It smelled good," [Eathan] Harris said. "They told me that's wrong."

Eathan shyly shook his head "no" when a reporter asked if he knew about "huffing."

[Principal Chris] Benisch stands by his decision to suspend Harris, saying it sends a clear message about substance abuse.

"This is really, really, seriously dangerous," Benisch said.

In his letter suspending the child, Benisch wrote that smelling the marker fumes could cause the boy to "become intoxicated."

A toxicologist with the Rocky Mountain Poison Control Center says that claim is nearly impossible.

I agree the the principal sent a "clear message." The message is that this was a piss poor decision and his refusal to acknowledge it makes him unfit to be principal of a school.

Also, what about his clothing? What made the teacher 'notice' that? Judging from the idiocy displayed by the school I think he must have been wearing red on green day!