Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Saturday, February 28, 2009

Another pitchman

A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ.

Here's how it works: If you spend $12.95 for the video, your dog is smarter than you are.

We're having Meatloaf tonight

Saturday Jam (Part Deux)

Two out of three ain't bad

Meatloaf

You took the words right out of my mouth

Meatloaf

Paradise by the dashboard light

Meatloaf

Dumb Crooks

Man accused of stealing guns from parked cop car

Corpus Christi, Texas police didn't have to go far to examine the scene of one crime - the theft of guns from a police car.

Authorities said a semiautomatic rifle, handgun, Taser and ammunition were stolen Feb. 8 from the trunk of a car parked at the home of a SWAT team officer.

Then they discovered that fingerprints from the car matched a man who was already in custody.

Police said 27-year-old Jaime Jalomo had appeared in court the day after the car theft and pleaded guilty to possession of a controlled substance.

Jalomo was indicted Thursday on two counts of theft of a firearm.

Southern Califonia robbery suspect tries to become policeman

Authorities in California say a man wanted for a store robbery was arrested when he showed up to take a test to become a police officer.

Chula Vista police spokesman Bernard Gonzales said investigators had identified Romeo Montillano as a suspect in a Dec. 8 robbery at a Kmart.

Gonzales says investigators learned that Montillano had signed up for the February Police Department entrance exam.

The 40-year-old man was arrested Wednesday when he arrived to take the test.

Gonzales said that when Montillano was taken into custody he asked if he would still be able to take the exam.

Police said Montillano was arrested for investigation of robbery, making criminal threats and grand theft. He remained in jail Saturday in lieu of $110,000 bail.

Man uses fake money to buy fake drugs

A man in Erwin, Tennessee was been arrested after police said he used counterfeit money to purchase fake OxyContin pills from an undercover officer. Unicoi County Sheriff's deputies arrested a 21-year-old man on Tuesday and charged him with criminal conspiracy with schedule II drugs, forgery and criminal simulation.

Investigator Frank Rogers said the officer met with several people at a mobile home park and arranged for the suspect and another man to come to Unicoi to buy 76 OxyContin pills for $4,875.

Officers said it was "obviously bad money" with some bills printed on just one side.

Authorities also tracked down the device believed used to make the counterfeit money.

The Johnson City Press reported officers expect to make more arrests in the case.

Florida men charged with throwing beer can at police

Fla. Authorities said two men were arrested after they threw an unopened 16-ounce can of Bud Light at an unmarked police vehicle. Tampa police Cpl. Richard Blasioli was on duty early Thursday morning, driving an unmarked 2001 Ford Expedition, when he saw a 1999 Toyota Solara cruising the wrong way down a road.

He said the driver, a 28-year-old man, swerved the car toward the police vehicle, and 24-year-old man leaned out of the passenger window and threw the can, hitting Blasioli's right front fender.

Officers arrested the pair within minutes.

Both men were charged with throwing a deadly missile at an occupied vehicle, and the passenger faces an additional drug possession charge.

They were later released on bail.

Missouri farmer's male calf born with two heads

A southwest Missouri cattleman has been delivering calves at his farm for a long time, but a calf born this week sure was different.

This one had two heads.

Scott Clift said he delivered the chocolate-colored male calf Wednesday morning at his farm near Aldrich, in Polk County.

Clift said the calf had two fully-formed heads that appeared to be connected to its body just behind the skull.

Clift said late Thursday that the calf lived about a day and a half.

It was unable to walk, so Clift and his family bottle-fed the animal until it died at 6 p.m.

Clift said "We've never seen anything like it."

Few people have, said University of Missouri Extension livestock specialist Eldon Cole.

Such births do happen - the condition is known as polycephaly - but Cole says "They're pretty darn rare."

A Slice of Philosophy

Acting is all about honesty.
If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Did you know ...

You don't have to go to Holland to see an authentic windmill.

In 1965, the city of Holland, Michigan, erected a windmill in that community which came from Vinkel, Holland.
It is believed to be the only authentic Dutch windmill in the united States.

And I Quote

I never came upon any of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.

~ Albert Einstein

Tennessee sheriff looks to serve 80-year-old warrant

The Carter County Sheriff's Department is trying to serve an 80-year-old warrant for the arrest of a man who wrote a $30 bad check, although unsure if he is alive.

The warrant, issued in August 1928, calls for the arrest of J.A. Rowland.
It says he owes $30 for the bad check, $2 for the arrest fee and 50 cents each for the affidavit and warrant.

Clerks at the Glynn County Sheriff's Office in Brunswick, Ga., recently found the warrant buried in a records storage room while cleaning and mailed it to Tennessee.

Current Carter County Sheriff Chris Mathes told The Elizabethton Star he is still under a legal obligation to find Rowland.

Married Life

A bank robber walks into a bank and finds a long line at the counter.
He pushes past and aims a gun at the cashier.

She frantically starts to push bundles of bills to him.

He calmly puts them into a bag.

He turns to leave the bank and asks the man behind him "did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replies yes I did, the robber shoots him dead.

He then asks the next couple did you see me rob this bank, the man replies I didn't but my
wife did.

President Obama's Weekly Address


Remarks of President Barack Obama
Weekly Address
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
Washington, DC

Two years ago, we set out on a journey to change the way that Washington works.

We sought a government that served not the interests of powerful lobbyists or the wealthiest few, but the middle-class Americans I met every day in every community along the campaign trail – responsible men and women who are working harder than ever, worrying about their jobs, and struggling to raise their families. In so many town halls and backyards, they spoke of their hopes for a government that finally confronts the challenges that their families face every day; a government that treats their tax dollars as responsibly as they treat their own hard-earned paychecks.

That is the change I promised as a candidate for president. It is the change the American people voted for in November. And it is the change represented by the budget I sent to Congress this week.

During the campaign, I promised a fair and balanced tax code that would cut taxes for 95% of working Americans, roll back the tax breaks for those making over $250,000 a year, and end the tax breaks for corporations that ship our jobs overseas. This budget does that.

I promised an economy run on clean, renewable energy that will create new American jobs, new American industries, and free us from the dangerous grip of foreign oil. This budget puts us on that path, through a market-based cap on carbon pollution that will make renewable energy the profitable kind of energy; through investments in wind power and solar power; advanced biofuels, clean coal, and more fuel-efficient American cars and American trucks.

I promised to bring down the crushing cost of health care – a cost that bankrupts one American every thirty seconds, forces small businesses to close their doors, and saddles our government with more debt. This budget keeps that promise, with a historic commitment to reform that will lead to lower costs and quality, affordable health care for every American.

I promised an education system that will prepare every American to compete, so Americans can win in a global economy. This budget will help us meet that goal, with new incentives for teacher performance and pathways for advancement; new tax credits that will make college more affordable for all who want to go; and new support to ensure that those who do go finish their degree.

This budget also reflects the stark reality of what we’ve inherited – a trillion dollar deficit, a financial crisis, and a costly recession. Given this reality, we’ll have to be more vigilant than ever in eliminating the programs we don’t need in order to make room for the investments we do need. I promised to do this by going through the federal budget page by page, and line by line. That is a process we have already begun, and I am pleased to say that we’ve already identified two trillion dollars worth of deficit-reductions over the next decade. We’ve also restored a sense of honesty and transparency to our budget, which is why this one accounts for spending that was hidden or left out under the old rules.

I realize that passing this budget won’t be easy. Because it represents real and dramatic change, it also represents a threat to the status quo in Washington. I know that the insurance industry won’t like the idea that they’ll have to bid competitively to continue offering Medicare coverage, but that’s how we’ll help preserve and protect Medicare and lower health care costs for American families. I know that banks and big student lenders won’t like the idea that we’re ending their huge taxpayer subsidies, but that’s how we’ll save taxpayers nearly $50 billion and make college more affordable. I know that oil and gas companies won’t like us ending nearly $30 billion in tax breaks, but that’s how we’ll help fund a renewable energy economy that will create new jobs and new industries. In other words, I know these steps won’t sit well with the special interests and lobbyists who are invested in the old way of doing business, and I know they’re gearing up for a fight as we speak. My message to them is this:

So am I.

The system we have now might work for the powerful and well-connected interests that have run Washington for far too long, but I don’t. I work for the American people. I didn’t come here to do the same thing we’ve been doing or to take small steps forward, I came to provide the sweeping change that this country demanded when it went to the polls in November. That is the change this budget starts to make, and that is the change I’ll be fighting for in the weeks ahead – change that will grow our economy, expand our middle-class, and keep the American Dream alive for all those men and women who have believed in this journey from the day it began.

Thanks for listening.

Depression Cooking with Clara

Emeril has put his stamp of approval on this lady's recipes so you know she's good ...

How good of a cook is Clara Cannucciari, a 93-year-old great-grandmother and host of her own online cooking show?
Clara Cannucciari cooks the meals her mother made during the Great Depression.

She's so good, she claims to have gained weight during the Great Depression, according to her blog.

Cannucciari says it was her mother who taught her how to cook the meals she now recreates on her cooking show "Depression Cooking with Clara".

"My father had to have his pasta every day," she said. "And my mother insisted we always have a little meat too."

Foods that do a heart proud

We're tempted by high-calorie foods, but they should always be an occasional treat, not everyday fare. Eating too many foods high in fat and sodium can increase the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, heart disease is the leading cause of death for women and men in the United States.

The American Heart Association says a heart-healthy diet is rich in vegetables and fruits, with whole grains, high-fiber foods, lean meats and poultry, fish at least twice a week, and fat-free or 1 percent fat dairy products.

"Most of us want to keep our hearts healthy," registered dietitian Fran Williams said. "But the question remains, how do we do that?"

Williams, an outpatient dietitian at Central Baptist Hospital, said that with all the information out there, it can be difficult to be sure we are doing the right thing for our hearts. She gives us a guide by listing her top 10 heart-healthy super foods, and why they should play a major role in our diets.

--Fish, especially those high in omega-3 fatty acids. Those include salmon, tuna and sardines. "Your heart loves omega-3s. These healthy fats reduce incidents of cardiovascular disease, help lower blood pressure, triglycerides and LDL (bad) cholesterol, and increase HDL (good) cholesterol."

--Beans -- black, white, red, kidney -- are loaded with soluble fiber, which lowers LDL cholesterol. Aim for 5 to 10 grams of soluble fiber a day (you need 25 to 30 grams of total fiber a day).

--Soybeans. "I especially like edamames, young, immature soybeans, steamed in their pods," Williams said.

--Oats are another great source for soluble fiber.

--Skim milk and yogurt are low in fat and high in calcium. "We all know that we need calcium for our bones, but did you know that calcium helps with keeping our hearts beating regularly?" she said.

--Berries -- blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, lingonberries, raspberries -- are loaded with phytonutrients, anti-oxidants and fiber. "And, let's throw in a pomegranate, too," Williams said. "Think color."

--Walnuts are high in omega-3 fatty acids. "They also are high in calories, so stop at a small handful," she said.

--Flaxseed is high in omega-3 fatty acids and soluble fiber. It is best to grind your flaxseed and keep it in the refrigerator or freezer.

--Brussels sprouts are high in soluble fiber.

--Olive oil is high in monounsaturated fat, but it's still fat, so go easy.

And I Quote

The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.

~ Saki

Saturday Jam

Today's Saturday Jam includes:

Talking Out Of Turn

The Moody Blues

Just A Matter Of Time

John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band
(From the movie Eddie and the Cruisers 2 soundtrack)

New York City Song

John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band
(From the movie Eddie and the Cruisers 2 soundtrack)
--- Ok, so I spun the record twice! ---

Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp

Led Zeppelin

Chestnut Mare

The Byrds

Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Doncaster, England, United Kingdom
London, England, United Kingdom
Viareggio, Toscana, Italy
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Wellington, Wellington, New Zealand
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Surbaya, Jawa Timur, Indonesia
Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines
Loughborough, England, United Kingdom
Wageningen, Gelderland, Netherlands
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
Shenzhen, Guangdong, China

as well as Pakistan, Iran, El Salvador, Bulgaria, Senegal, Nigeria and the Dominican Republic

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Let the outside world influence you.

OK, if I have to.