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Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Daily Drift

Welcome to Today's Edition of
Carolina Naturally
Today happens to be Stand For Children Day ...!
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Today is - Go Barefoot Day 

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Today in History

The Roman emperor, Marcus Didius, is murdered in his palace.
Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII‘s new queen, is crowned.
The British government orders the port of Boston closed.
The first U.S. congressional act on administering oaths becomes law.
American navy captain James Lawrence, mortally wounded in a naval engagement with the British, exhorts to the crew of his vessel, the Chesapeake, “Don’t give up the ship!”
General Robert E. Lee assumes command of the Confederate army outside Richmond after General Joe Johnston is injured at Seven Pines.
The Battle of Cold Harbor, Virginia, begins as Confederate general Robert E. Lee tries to turn Union general Ulysses S. Grant’s flank.
James Buchanan, the 15th president of the United States, dies.
U.S. troops are authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico.
Germany conducts the first zeppelin air raid over England.
The National Defense Act increases the strength of the U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men.
A race riot erupts in Tulsa, Oklahoma, killing 85 people.
The Douglas DC-4 makes its first passenger flight from Chicago to New York.
The German Army completes the capture of Crete as the Allied evacuation ends.
America begins sending Lend-Lease materials to the Soviet Union.
Charles de Gaulle becomes premier of France.
Governor George Wallace vows to defy an injunction ordering integration of the University of Alabama.
The U.S. reports finding wiretaps in the American embassy in Moscow.

Hilarious Moms Explain Why Bathing Suits Are Bullshit

by Valerie Williams
These funny moms tell the truth about bathing suits
It’s swimsuit season and a pair of funny moms totally feel our pain. In a hilarious new video, they illustrate all the pitfalls of finding a flattering bathing suit.
Honestly, it’s like they’re in the fitting room with us.
Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley are the funny ladies behind the popular Facebook page Imomsohard. Their videos are full of wisdom about motherhood and being a woman in general, with their latest offering totally nailing the fuckery surrounding women’s bathing suits.
They start off by demonstrating “what dudes get to wear to the beach” with both women sporting comfy board shorts and roomy t-shirts. They joke about how practical the men’s version of beachwear is, showing how easy it is to bend down. “You can move around, no nipples are coming out,” Smedley exclaims. “Everything stays inside.”
Isn’t that something. Imagine going to the beach and not inadvertently showing a passing 10-year-old boy half of your boob when all you meant to do was pluck a few juice boxes from the cooler.
“I do not feel confident in a swimming suit at all,” says Hensley, “but I’m not going to let that get in the way of me building a moat.” She notes how “a couple cocktails” can help eliminate those crappy body feelings, but still laments her post-baby size. “Twelve pounds heavier than I was before I had my daughter and she’s four. Can’t even call it baby weight anymore. Just call it weight.”
We feel you, girl.
The women treat us to a fashion show full of swimsuits most moms would raise an eyebrow at, because they make no sense unless your only plan is to literally lay on a towel all day. And we all know how great little kids are at letting us do that.
Hensley starts off with a black one-piece featuring a weird spiderweb design over the torso. “What’s with these cut-outs? Isn’t the whole idea to keep everything in? It looks like you’re pressing something against a tennis racket.”
Smedley’s similarly unimpressed with her ruffled monokini. “Hmm I wonder if there’s a way to make your butt look too big, to really accentuate your love handles and make your bust feel inadequate,” she quips.
She also models a suit that gives her “four complete butt cheeks” while Hensley continues to regret her black spiderweb cut-out suit. “I could tell by the hanger it was bad. It had schematics to put it on.”
After showing off a few more ridiculous bathing suits, Hensley breaks it down. “You wanna know what’s really sexy? Joy. That’s what I think.”
And she would be absolutely right. Our kids and partners don’t care how we look in our swimsuits. Having fun is the goal.
At the end of the video, the women put on the sensible bathing suits and cover-ups they typically wear for a day at the beach. Hensley says, “Well this is real life. This is how I go to the beach. And the kids think I’m awesome. Because I’m awesome on a beach.”
Hensley explains that it’s all about modeling the right way of thinking for her kids. “I want my daughter to love her life and to love herself and she’s not going to do it because I tell her to do it. She’s going to do it because I teach her to do it.”
Her final thoughts? “I would love a revenge body but I’ll take a ‘fuck it’ attitude.”
Sounds good to us.

Three Mile Island to close in 2019

Pennsylvania’s Three Mile Island power plant will close in 2019, 40 years after the worst nuclear accident in U.S. history, as low natural gas prices make the costs of atomic energy noncompetitive.
The plant’s name has been synonymous with public fears over the risks associated with nuclear power since the plant suffered a partial meltdown in 1979, sparking sweeping new rules for handling emergencies at nuclear sites.

Egyptian Near East

Many treasures have been found in the mummy-laden crypts of ancient Egyptians, such as items made of gold, silver and other precious metals. But the mummies themselves contain a very valuable material—DNA—holding important information about the ancient Egyptians and whence they came. Now, for the first time, researchers have analyzed DNA from a large number of mummies, using a method they say avoids the potential for contamination, shedding light on the mysteries of old Egypt.

Massachusetts heroin trade crackdown leads to 30 arrests

A crackdown on Massachusetts’ heroin trade led to the arrests of 30 people on charges they were running a drug-trafficking ring that law enforcement officials said was one of the largest they had ever seen in the state.

Why Do Many People Think They've Never Met a Transgender Person?

Tech firms oppose transgender discrimination

Apple CEO Tim Cook, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and Google CEO Sundar Pichai have joined nine other tech leaders in protesting “discriminatory legislation” against transgender students set to be passed by Texas wingnuts.

Russian cult leader compares gay marriage to Nazi law

The head of the Russian Orthodox Cult said that laws legalizing same-sex marriage are as immoral as those passed by Nazis in Germany. Patriarch Kirill, the highest religious authority in the country and a close ally of President Vladimir Putin, claimed that legalizing gay marriage runs contrary to the fundamental moral fabric of society and would cause people to revolt.

How the Biggest Companies Cheated on Taxes in 2016

Black doll hung from noose at NC school

Vandals hung a black doll from a noose at a North Carolina high school and called for a white principal’s return in a banner evoking Dumbass Trump’s campaign slogan.

Documents Expose Military Tactics Used On Pipeline Protesters at Standing Rock

Court sides with police over shooting of homeless couple

The U.S. Supreme Court sided with police and threw out a lower court ruling that had upheld $4 million in damages awarded to a homeless couple who sued after being shot 15 times in a backyard shack by Los Angeles County sheriff’s deputies who were searching for another man.

Georgia, Guns and Booze-Filled Tailgating Parties

Internet gadfly Kim Dotcom admits FBI document on Seth Rich is bogus

Kim Dotcom has played a central role in reviving claims that DNC staffer Seth Rich was murdered after revealing or threatening to disclose damaging information about Hillary Clinton during the presidential campaign.

Death And Deportation Threats As All Hell Breaks Loose In Texas Legislature

The prissy teabagger types got their panties in a knot.

Nebraska Wingnut agrees food is ‘essential’ — but won’t say Americans are ‘entitled’ to eat

Smith (r-NE) appeared Saturday on NPR’s “Morning Edition,” where he discussed farm subsidies and food stamps, which both would be cut under a budget proposed by Dumbass Trump.

Portland Wingnut Urges Cabal to Use Militia Groups After White Supremacist Murders Two

These assholes are astoundingly stupid!

Black Bear Attack Caught On GoPro

You'll hear one thing stated a dozen different ways when you visit parks in bear country- steer clear of bears, or you might end up mauled or dead.
This warning is enough to keep visitors on their toes and keep the timid from visiting parks in bear country at all, but some people act like it will never happen to them and roam around like they own the park.
The hunter who captured this bear attack footage on his GoPro camera is clearly one of those guys, because he thought he could take down a black bear with a lvl 1 archery skill!
This wild footage was captured by Richard Wesley while he was out bow hunting in Fire River, Ontario, and Richard seems pretty happy the bear didn't dine on his innards:
I am so happy after this confrontation with a black bear during our spring hunt. No wounds except a bruised elbow and ego where the bear threw me down. Genuinely happy that this was a non fatal or tragic outcome. Proving that the black bear is a wild and unpredictable animal. Again so happy with the outcome.

Animal Pictures