“Breaking
wind,” as the English so politely call it, is a natural and inevitable
part of life. So it’s not surprising that farts occasionally make it
into the news.
GAS ATTACK
In June
2012, a 72-year-old New Jersey man named Daniel Collins was arrested and
charged with assault, unlawful possession of a firearm, and making
terrorist threats, when he pointed a .32-calibre revolver at his
neighbor and threatened to shoot him in the head. What got Collins so
worked up? According to police, he and the neighbor were involved in an
ongoing dispute over noise. The feud escalated to its breaking point
when the neighbor walked past Collins’s front door and farted so loudly
that Collins could hear it from inside his apartment. Collins was later
released on his own recognizance without having to post bail. (No word
on whether, if convicted, he’ll have to spend time in the can.)
FIELD RESEARCH
Scientists have long known that the farts and burps released by
livestock are a significant source of greenhouse gases. But precisely
how significant has been difficult to say because it’s almost impossible
to accurately measure the emissions of animals out in the fields.
In the summer of 2011, scientists at the UK’s National Physical
Laboratory announced plans to develop a system for “auditing a herd’s
collective flatulence” by shooting laser beams around the animals as
they graze (and fart and burp) in their pastures. “We use lasers to
interact with the gas,” researcher Alan Brewin told the Daily Telegraph.
“The way the light is absorbed tells you what gas there is, how much of
it there is, which direction it is flowing, and how fast.”
POP STAR
In
November 2012, Britney Spears’s former bodyguard, 29-year-old Fernando
Flores, sued the singer, alleging that she paraded around her home in
the nude, made “repeated, unwanted sexual advances,” and farted
“unapologetically” in his presence. Flores asked for more than $ 10
million in compensation for “psychological trauma, anxiety attacks,
depression and insomnia,” despite the fact that he’d worked for Spears
for less than six months. “He’s a liar,” a spokesperson for the star
told reporters. The case was settled out of court.
OF MICE AND MEN
In
July 2012, scientists at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland published
a study that found that hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives farts
their rotten egg smell, also lowers blood pressure in mice. Researchers
in the United States and China are now studying whether farts— making
them or perhaps just smelling them— might one day be used as a therapy
to help lower the blood pressure of humans. “The effective dosage could
prove difficult to establish due to the difference in size between
humans and mice,” said Yao Yuyu, a researcher at Zhongda Hospital in
Nanjing.
LAW AND ODOR
Not
long after the president of Malawi introduced legislation in 2011 to
reform the African nation’s court system, Justice Minister George
Chaponda told a radio interviewer that the bill also contained language
that would make farting in public a misdemeanor. “Just go to the toilet
if you feel like farting,” the minister said, adding that public tooting
had been on the rise since the country transitioned from dictatorship
to democracy in the early 1990s. So did Malawi really try to outlaw
farting in public? Nope: Turns out that the legal language in question
actually dealt with air pollution, not farting, but Minister Chaponda
didn’t know that because he hadn’t read the bill. By the time he
retracted his statement, Malawi’s so-called “fart ban” had made
embarrassing headlines all over the world. Solicitor General Anthony
Kamanga told the BBC, “How any reasonable or sensible person can
construe the prohibition to criminalizing farting in public is beyond
me.”