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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

In case you didn't know

... or even care.

Sarah Palin has a book deal.
She is going to publish her memoirs.

You know it will be a coloring book, so that the people who support her will understand it.

Foreclosures make surprising jump

Foreclosures make surprising jumpThree states are especially hard hit in the grim report.

Foreclosures jump

Also:

Cheerios' advertising criticized

The popular cereal doesn't do what it claims for your health, says the FDA.

Cheerios' criticized

Cheney comments may mean trouble for GOP

Cheney comments may mean trouble for GOP

On the talk show circuit to defend his legacy, the once-reclusive former VP is stirring things up.

Cheney comments may mean trouble for GOP

May mean? What do you MAY mean ... they're nothing but trouble.

But then again this is a bad thing, how?

Player pulls off one of baseball's rarest feats

Player pulls off one of baseball's rarest feats

Philadelphia's Jayson Werth goes berserk on the basepaths, accomplishing something only done a handful of times since World War II.

Player pulls off one of baseball's rarest feats

Also:

Another bizarre 'monster' found on N.Y. beach

No ... it wasn't Lush Dimbulb, unfortunately.

A strange new sighting brings the legend of the "Montauk Monster" roaring back to life.

Bizarre 'monster' found on N.Y. beach

Also:

Baseball park designates peanut-free section

A minor league baseball team in New Jersey is designating a special section for fans who want to go out to the ballgame but buy no peanuts or Cracker Jack.

Full Story

Girl threatens sister with gun to get her to play with her

You know this happened in West Virginia don't you?!

A West Virginia girl threatened her sister with a gun to force her to play with her.

Full Story

Classical excerpts

If you don't know about Classical Music then let this be an introduction.

Rotten office fridge cleanup sends 7 to hospital

An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill.

Full Story

Feds file age-discrimination suit against Cover Girls strip club

Now this is the kind of federal government you're getting now that Obama's in office — the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is suing a Houston strip club for firing a worker because she was too old.

The EEOC's Houston office says AHD Houston, Inc., which owns Centerfolds and Cover Girls — described by the agency as "'strip clubs' catering to male customers" — violated age-discrimination laws when it fired Mary Bassi, a 50-year-old waitress.

Bassi had worked for the company for 13 years, but had gotten too old for this shit, as they say in the movies: "In August 2005 a male manager for Cover Girls who was in his 30s began harassing Bassi because of her age," the EEOC says. "On multiple occasions, this manager and another manager referred to Bassi as 'old' and...[told] her she was exhibiting signs of Alzheimer's disease."

Classy!!

And so the federal government has taken on this woman's crusade to continue working in a titty bar.

"Age discrimination is prohibited by federal law, even within the adult entertainment industry," R.J. Ruff Jr., district director of the Houston EEOC office, said. "The EEOC will not stand idly by while employees in any industry are subjected to discrimination because of their age."

Ruff then retired to his office to watch his newest Grandmothers Gone Wild DVD. Well, probably not.

Texas Senate Blocks Appointment of Anti-Sex Toy Nominee to Board of Pardons

In a rare rebuke of a governor's appointment powers, the Texas Senate voted Wednesday to block one of Gov. Rick Perry's nominees to the state Board of Pardons and Parole over concerns she is unqualified.

The 27-4 vote against Shanda Perkins of Burleson was a resounding bipartisan rejection of the former banker. Unlike the occasional high-profile debates over presidential nominees, the Texas Senate rarely votes against a governor's appointment.

Critics, including the American Civil Liberties Union, had assailed Perkins' nomination, noting she has no college degree and had no criminal justice background before Perry selected her for a board with the power to grant parole and recommend clemency in a death penalty case.

Perkins worked in banking for more than 20 years. She told senators last week she is qualified for the parole job because through her church she has often counseled youth and women who have been through drug and physical abuse and had family members in prison.

"This person is unqualified," said Sen. John Whitmire, D-Houston, who led the charge against Perkins' confirmation. "This is not a partisan issue. This is not a personal issue."

The parole board, Whitmire said, "literally considers life or death matters."

Fifteen Republicans joined the 12 Democrats voting against Perkins, who had sailed through the nominations committee on a 4-1 vote. No senator spoke in her defense Wednesday and the Senate approved three other nominations to the board, including current members Rissie Owens and Juanita Gonzalez and new member Thomas Leeper, who is an attorney.

Perry spokeswoman Allison Castle said Perry stands by his decision to appoint Perkins.

"The governor thought she was the candidate for this position," Castle said.

Technically, the vote simply sent the nomination back to committee with a little over two weeks lefts in the session that ends June 1. But the overwhelming vote against her suggests the nomination is dead.

Perkins had not served on the board while awaiting confirmation. Perry could wait until after the legislative session to appoint someone else and that person could serve until the Senate meets again in regular session in 2011.

Perkins was also notable for her role in stopping the sale of sex toys in Burleson in 2004. An arrest in that case eventually led a federal appeals court to overturn Texas' law banning the sale of sex toys.

Perkins has said she informed city officers about the city ordinance that prohibited the sale of sex toys at a business or near a school but did not initiate the criminal complaint that led the arrest.

In February, Perkins distributed fliers linking U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison to President Barack Obama and abortion rights. Perry, who is running for re-election, is expected to face a tough battle with Hutchison in the Republican primary.

Daily Riddle

What has four asses?

Eight half assed politicians.

Man kills girlfriend over slow cooking

Andrew Norman wanted to eat damper and he expected his girlfriend to cook it. So when she turned her back on him he picked up a knife and stabbed her in the back.

Full Story

Tattooed man pledges to donate his skin to National Gallery

An Australian man whose body is covered in tattoos has pledged to donate his skin to the National Gallery when he dies.

Full Story

Children's advisor on healthy eating told son is overweight

A children's advisor on healthy eating, Michala Forder, has been warned her son Zac is overweight and risking cancer because he is one pound over NHS guidelines.

Full Story

Fish that triggers hallucinations found off British coast

A species of bream, sarpa salpa, which can trigger hallucinations when eaten, has been been discovered in British waters due to global warming.

Full Story

I Got It Bad

Rosie Ledet
This is what Zydeco is all about.

500-pound moose 'fell out of the sky'

Police said a 500-pound moose fell 18 feet to its death when it apparently leaped a guardrail on an Interstate 95 overpass and landed on Hinckley Road.

Full Story

Hungry suspect caught in Taco Bell parking lot

Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot.

Full Story

Michigan teacher spends 65 hours in tree

David Buth is rewarding the tree-mendous fundraising efforts of his Michigan middle school students by spending 65 hours in a perch 40 feet above ground.

Full Story

Amish teen ticketed for having beer in buggy

Police cracking down on rowdy Amish youths ticketed a teenager for having beer in his horse-drawn buggy when they pulled him over on a western New York road.

Full Story

Dimbulb Spews

Dimbulb Spews:

Dimbulb says people are "more afraid of their government than they have ever been"
Nope, that was the past eight years.

Dimbulb says liberals "have contempt for average people"
Wrong again, you moron, we are the average people.

Daily Funny

Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?

To get away from the noise.

Liars and Fools

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Student dupes world media with fake quote

This is why I do not like Wikipedia as a source of information it is just as reliable as Faux News for truth and honesty.
Student dupes world media with fake quoteA Dublin student's prank Wikipedia update is reposted by papers around the world.

Student dupes world media with fake quote

Also:

Soldier charged with murders showed stress

Soldier charged with murders showed stressThe father of 44-year-old Sgt. John M. Russell hopes an investigation finds his son "snapped" under pressure in Iraq.

Soldier charged with murders showed stress

Also:

Best work-at-home careers

5 best work-at-home careersThese traditional office jobs pay as much as $71K and require a BA or less.

5 best work-at-home careers

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And I Quote

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

~ Napoleon Bonaparte

Man's 'worst laugh in the world' a video hit

A French man's shrieks and squeals make him a viral sensation, but is he amusing or annoying?

'Worst laugh in the world'

Also:

Hackers targeting PowerPoint

Microsoft says hackers targeting PowerPointThe popular presentation program is vulnerable to attack..

Hackers targeting PowerPoint

Also:

35,000-year-old ivory carving found

The figurine, found in 2008 in a cave in Schelklingen, southern Germany is allegedly the world's oldest reproduction of a human with an estimated age of at least 35,000 years.

Find out more and see other photos here.

We've always maintaines this ...

Now science backs us up ...

From BBC-Science:
Men really do have an excuse for being wimpy about coughs and colds - their immune systems are not as strong as those of women.

Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Edinburgh, Scotland, United Kingdom
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
Riyadh, Ar Riyad, Saudi Arabia
Uslar, Niedersachen, Germany
Oslo, Oslo, Norway
Luqa, Luqa, Malta
Tokyo, Tokyo, Japan
Munich, Bayern Germany
As, Limburg, Belgium
Granada, Andalucia, Spain
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, Netherlands
London, England, United Kingdom
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Gloucester, England, United Kingdom
Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Seoul, Seoul-T'ukpyolsi, Republic of Korea
Cluj-Napoca, Cluj, Romania
Turin, Piemonte, Italy
Santa Fe De Bogota, Distrito Especial, Colombia
Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Bombay, Maharashtra, India
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Krakow, Malopolskie, Poland
Santiago, Region Metropolitana, Chile
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Kontich, Antwerpen, Belgium
New westminister, British Columbia, Canada
Markhan, Ontario, Canada

as well as Wales, Hong Kong, and the United States

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Get ready to have a great day with your friends! There is a blast of high energy coming into your social circle right now, and you will be loving all the good vibes bouncing around. Take advantage of any social invitations -- sharing small talk with people you know well will leave everyone in the room laughing and smiling. This is a period of bright opportunity for you, so it's a great time for a job interview or any other situation where you want to make a good impression.

Impressed, yet?!