Even this blog's Debt Counter has run out of places for digits ...
and the debt keeps growing!
and the debt keeps growing!
UPDATE: Got the Debt Counter working again. Almost wish it wasn't though.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
12 New Stomach-Turning Revelations About Sarah Palin
Palin has taken to smearing Obama. But it's her own record that continues to yield alarming information, undermining her skills and credibility.
Read the latest here.
The Athiest and the bear
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.
At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God.... !" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said: "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a
Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen. "
Daily Funny
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
A True Love Story
This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."
The 25 Most Important Questions in the History of the Universe
- 1. What Makes No. 2 Pencils So Darn Special?
- 2. Who’s That AOL Guy Who Eerily Knows When You’ve Got Mail?
- 3. Where Does Nougat Come From?
- 4. Is There One Move That’s More Likely to Win a Game of Rock-Paper-Scissors?
- 5. Which Came First, the Can Opener or the Can?
- 6. How Does a Word Become a Curse Word?
- 7. Can a Pregnant Woman Drive in the Carpool Lane?
- 8. Why Do Battery Letters Skip from A to C? Was There Ever a B-Cell Battery?
- 9. What Does McDonald’s Have in Common with the CIA?
- 10. Why Does Hawaii Have Interstate Highways?
- 11. Why Do Most Snooze Buttons Only Give You Nine More Minutes of Sleep?
- 12. Why Do We Call Them Grandfather Clocks?
- 13. Was Turkey a Bird or a Country First?
- 14. How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?
- 15. We Know Nothing Better Has Come Along Since then, But Who Invented Sliced Bread Anyway?
- 16. Why Is It Called "Blackmail?"
- 17. Is It Possible to Own Property on the Moon?
- 18. Why Can’t You Tickle yourself?
- 19. Human Meat Isn’t Appetizing, But is It Healthy?
- 20. Can You Actually Sense Weather with an Injured body Part?
- 21. Why Won’t Pineapple and Jell-O® Be Friends?
- 22. What are Sea-Monkeys®, Anyway?
- 23. How Many Pounds of Chimpanzee are Needed to Defeat the Average Human?
- 24. Why are Grape-Nuts® Neither Grapes Nor Nuts?
25. How Many Licks Does It Take to Get to the Center of a Tootsie Pop?
Believe it or not, the answers to these questions are here.
And I Quote
Life Quotes
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change Charles Darwin
Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet. Roger Miller
It is a sad thing to look at happiness only through another's eyes Marquerite Blessington
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw
When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. Helen Keller
Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. Robert Anthony
Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. Harold Whitman
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. Cynthia Nelms
If you're going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill
We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them. William Arthur Ward
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever Gandhi
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. George Washington Carver
It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. Charles Spurgeon
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Circumstances and situations do color life but you have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be. John Homer Miller
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not our circumstances. Martha Washington
We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. Charles Bukowski
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? Charles M Schulz
Close your eyes and go back.....
....Before the Internet or PC or the MAC......
....Before semi-automatics and crack....
....Before Play station, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...
....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail....
....way back....
....way.....way.....way back.....
I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
Red light, Green light
Red Rover....Red Rover.....
Playing kickball & dodge ball until the first...no...second...no...third streetlight came on
Ring around the Rosie
London Bridge
Hot potato
Hop Scotch
Jump rope
Kick the can
Duck....duck....GOOSE!!!
YOU'RE IT!!
Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home -
no pagers or cell phones
Mother May I?
Hula Hoops
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
The sound of crickets
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
Cracker jacks with the same thing
Popsicles with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
...but wait.....there's more....
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons (you had 3 channels to choose from)
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man, Schoolhouse Rock….
Going even farther back…. Roy Rogers, Wild Bill Hicock, Sky King, Hopalong Cassidy….
…The Adventures of Superman, Bonanza (in color), Ozzie and Harriet
Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges) Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos,
FONZIE.....AYYYYYYYY
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Sleep overs
A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from PLAYING
WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
Your first crush
Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN)
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or "hangman" in the classroom, Remember that?
Oh, I'm not finished yet....
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
So was a swig from the hose
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Playing Wiffle Ball in the back yard
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a MIRACLE
When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry Groceries... And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!
Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"
Well, let's keep going!! Let's go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discoverd because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life......
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!
....Before semi-automatics and crack....
....Before Play station, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...
....Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail....
....way back....
....way.....way.....way back.....
I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
Red light, Green light
Red Rover....Red Rover.....
Playing kickball & dodge ball until the first...no...second...no...third streetlight came on
Ring around the Rosie
London Bridge
Hot potato
Hop Scotch
Jump rope
Kick the can
Duck....duck....GOOSE!!!
YOU'RE IT!!
Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home -
no pagers or cell phones
Mother May I?
Hula Hoops
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
The sound of crickets
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
Cracker jacks with the same thing
Popsicles with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
...but wait.....there's more....
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons (you had 3 channels to choose from)
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man, Schoolhouse Rock….
Going even farther back…. Roy Rogers, Wild Bill Hicock, Sky King, Hopalong Cassidy….
…The Adventures of Superman, Bonanza (in color), Ozzie and Harriet
Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges) Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos,
FONZIE.....AYYYYYYYY
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Sleep overs
A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from PLAYING
WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
Your first crush
Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN)
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or "hangman" in the classroom, Remember that?
Oh, I'm not finished yet....
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
So was a swig from the hose
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Playing Wiffle Ball in the back yard
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a MIRACLE
When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry Groceries... And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!
Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"
Well, let's keep going!! Let's go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discoverd because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life......
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!
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