President Obama's weekly address
Sunday, December 14, 2008
And I Quote
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
but the silence of our friends.
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
Naked Jen's Delicious Revenge on Brangelina!
Looking hot is the best revenge!
That's clearly the strategy that Jennifer Aniston has finally settled on after watching Angelina bewitch her ex-husband Brad...and the rest of the world.
And thank you, Jen. Going into battle unabashedly nude with a body toned to perfection
Read the rest here.
Cheetahs on brink of extinction
Cheetahs are fast, but can they outrun extinction? According to a new report released by the United Nations Environment Program (UNEP), the speedy feline, which can reach speeds of up to 120 kilometers per hour, or 75 mph (making it the world's fastest land animal), is at risk of becoming the latest extinct species, The Independent's Ian Johnston reports. The report blames the cheetah's downfall on the usual suspects: habitat loss and degradation, urban development and hunting. Current populations levels stand at 10 percent of their historic highs.
Read the rest at Treehugger.com
Dividing the spoils
There was a huge nut tree by the cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you."
He knew what it was. "Oh my!!" he shuddered, "It`s Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!"
He cycled down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come quick!" he said, "You won`t believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can`t you see I`m finding it hard to walk as it is!"
After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you`ve been tellin` the truth! Let`s see if we can see the Devil himself."
Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence, still unable to see anything, but they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me, and one last one for you. That`s all. Let`s go get those nuts by the fence, and we`ll be done."
They say the old guy made it to town 10 minutes before the boy!
"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
The bucket was so full, several rolled out towards the fence.
Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you."
He knew what it was. "Oh my!!" he shuddered, "It`s Satan and St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery!"
He cycled down the road and found an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
"Come quick!" he said, "You won`t believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."
The man said, "Shoo, you brat! Can`t you see I`m finding it hard to walk as it is!"
After several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery and heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one..."
The old man whispered, "Boy, you`ve been tellin` the truth! Let`s see if we can see the Devil himself."
Shivering with fear, they edged toward the fence, still unable to see anything, but they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me, and one last one for you. That`s all. Let`s go get those nuts by the fence, and we`ll be done."
They say the old guy made it to town 10 minutes before the boy!
You heard right?
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to paradise. He was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and yelled angrily, "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!"
Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin.
Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden groaned, "This is not what I was promised!"
The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?"
Then Patrick Henry punched Osama in the nose and James Madison kicked him in the groin.
Bin Laden was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, Thomas Jefferson and 66 other early Americans. As he writhed in pain on the ground, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden groaned, "This is not what I was promised!"
The angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you! What did you think I said?"
A moral tale
An attractive blond from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude". With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled," Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES, YES, I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know -.....I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are stupid.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude". With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled," Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES, YES, I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know -.....I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY
Not all Irish are stupid.
Late-night California mayor must leave City Hall by 11
Fed up with the nocturnal work habits of its mayor, South El Monte city council has approved a curfew limiting how late she can work at City Hall.
South El Monte council members say they have safety and liability concerns for Mayor Blanca Figueroa, who frequently works until the wee hours of the morning. She must now leave the building by 11 p.m.
The mayor - a self-described night owl - calls the restriction petty. She says she needs to stay late because her daytime schedule is filled with meetings and her inbox is overflowing with letters from residents affected by the worsening economy.
South El Monte is a city of 21,000 about 14 miles east of downtown Los Angeles. Council members approved the curfew Wednesday.
Panthers win
The Carolina Panthers won for the second time in six days by beating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last Monday night and beating the Denver Broncos just a few minutes ago.
At 11 - 3 the Panthers need only to win their remaining two games to be the number one seed in the NFC for the playoffs.
At 11 - 3 the Panthers need only to win their remaining two games to be the number one seed in the NFC for the playoffs.
Consumer civilization collapses.
Sociologists will tell you that the most powerful impetus to change is not a new discovery.
It's when you learn what you already knew.
What Americans already knew at some level was that the credit-card-driven, debt-ridden, pay-later economy wasn't sustainable.
Not economically.
Not environmentally.
Well, most Americans knew in any case.
It's when you learn what you already knew.
What Americans already knew at some level was that the credit-card-driven, debt-ridden, pay-later economy wasn't sustainable.
Not economically.
Not environmentally.
Well, most Americans knew in any case.
Man throws shoes at Bush in Iraq
The shrub had two shoes thrown at him Sunday during a news conference in the Iraqi prime minister's office in Baghdad.
The man who threw the shoes, apparently a journalist, shouted an Arabic phrase, which reportedly translated as, "This is a farewell kiss, dog,"
The shrub ducked and narrowly missed being struck by the first shoe, and the man threw a second shoe, which also came close to hitting the moron.
"All I can report is it is a size 10," the shrub said jokingly.
The shrub unexpectedly flew to Iraq Sunday to pay a farewell visit and discuss a recently signed security agreement, officials said.
Check out the video.
The Iraq trip is the shrub's fourth, and likely final, visit to the country that will define his legacy as the usurper.
Welcome new readers
Carolina Naturally would like to welcome our newest readers from our 151st country: Cambodia!
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