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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Low Budget

Kinks

Freed Journalists Recount North Korea Ordeal

The American television reporter and producer imprisoned in North Korea for 4 1/2 months have written an article describing the circumstances surrounding their arrests and detention.

Atlantic Ocean significantly changed

Atlantic Ocean significantly changed

The Northeast and mid-Atlantic waters aren't what they were 40 years ago.

What's to blame, some bright spots

Also:

Huge SoCal fire portends bad season

Huge SoCal fire portends bad season

Firefighters warn that the gigantic blaze on the edge of LA may be a preview of greater danger. What could happen
Also:

Fast-food secret menus revealed

Fast-food secret menus revealed

Jamba Juice, Taco Bell, and other chains serve special items if you know to ask.

Top 10 Signs You Might Not Be A Libertarian

DarkSyde posted this piece on Daily Kos on August 30th.

*****

Notice a propensity of newly minted Libertarians showing up lately? Perhaps it's just coincidence their ranks swelled in inverse proportion to George Bush's approval rating, ditto that so many are mouthing traditional conservative talking points. But what about the everyday gun toting townhall screamers and taxcutters and deficit hawks we see on cable news: are they really libertarian as so many claim, or just conservatives in glibertarian clothes? Here's a few warning signs.

  1. If you think Ron Paul isn't conservative enough and Fox News is fair and balanced, you might not be a Libertarian.
  1. If you believe you have an inalienable right to attend Presidential townhalls brandishing a loaded assault rifle, but that arresting participants inside for wearing a pink shirt is an important public safety precaution, there's a chance you're dangerously unbalanced, but no chance you're a Libertarian.
  1. If you think the government should stay the hell out of Medicare, well, you have way, way bigger problems than figuring out if you're really a Libertarian.
  1. If you rank Anthonin Scalia and Roy Moore among the greatest Justices of all time, you may be bug fuck crazy, but you're probably not a Libertarian.
  1. You might not be a Libertarian if you think recreational drug use, prostitution, and gambling should be illegal because that's what Jesus wants.
  1. If you think the separation between church and state applies equally to all faiths except socially conservative Christian fundamentalism, you're probably not a Libertarian.
  1. You're probably not a Libertarian if you believe the federal government should remove safety standards and clinical barriers for prescription and OTC medications while banning all embryonic stem cell research, somatic nuclear transfer, RU 486, HPV and cervical cancer vaccination, work on human/non human DNA combos, or Plan B emergency contraception.
  1. If you think state execution of mentally retarded convicts is good policy but prosecuting Scott Roeder or disconnecting Terri Schiavo was an unforgivable sin, odds are you're not really a Libertarian.
  1. If you argue that cash for clunkers or any form of government healthcare is unconstitutional, but forced prayer or teaching old testament creationism in public schools is fine, you're not even consistent, much less a Libertarian, and you may be Michele Bachmann.

And the number one sign: if you think government should stay the hell out of people's private business -- except when kidnapping citizens and rendering them to secret overseas torture prisons, snooping around the bedrooms of consenting adults, policing a woman's uterus, or conducting warrantless wire taps, you are no Libertarian.

Most expensive ZIP codes in the U.S.

Most expensive ZIP codes in the U.S.

Home prices are dropping even in the most exclusive enclaves in America.

Woman wishes she never won lottery

Woman wishes she never won lottery

At 16, Callie Rogers won millions. Six years later, her fortune is almost gone.

Burn fat in just 10 minutes

Burn fat in just 10 minutes

This high-intensity workout promises toned arms and better-fitting jeans in four weeks.

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn, by Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
14. Your friends love you anyway.

Pearls of Wisdom

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Everyone brings joy to this office; some when they enter, others when they leave.

Theory and practice are the same in theory but different in practice.

You never can truly tell when you have run out of invisible ink.

To err is human. To totally fuck things up you need a computer.

You're never too old to think you're still young.

There are 2 rules to being a success in life: 1. Never give out all the information.

Under Capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, the reverse is true.

Remember - the glass is half full if you're filling it and half empty if you're emptying it.

Afghanistan: vodka "butt shots," group fondling, other pastimes of defense contractors guarding US embassy

Makes you wonder ...

Despite grotestque bacchanals that would make a True Blood maenad blush, some crazy, sadistic sickos guarding the US embassy in Kabul got their 5-year, 189 million dollar contract renewed for another year. The company involved: ArmorGroup North America (a subsidiary of Wackenhut, which is in turn owned by the security behemoth G4S). Your tax dollars at work, folks.

From the Mother Jones article by Daniel Schulman:
camp-sullivan-kabul.300wide.271high.jpgGuards have come to POGO with allegations and photographic evidence that some supervisors and guards are engaging in near-weekly deviant hazing and humiliation of subordinates. Witnesses report that the highest levels of AGNA management in Kabul are aware of and have personally observed--or even engaged in--these activities, but have done nothing to stop them. Indeed, management has condoned this misconduct, declining to take disciplinary action against those responsible and allowing two of the worst offending supervisors to resign and allegedly move on to work on other U.S. contracts. The lewd and deviant behavior of approximately 30 supervisors and guards has resulted in complete distrust of leadership and a breakdown of the chain of command, compromising security.

Numerous emails, photographs, and videos portray a Lord of the Flies environment. One email from a current guard describes scenes in which guards and supervisors are "peeing on people, eating potato chips out of [buttock] cracks, vodka shots out of [buttock] cracks (there is video of that one), broken doors after drunken [sic] brawls, threats and intimidation from those leaders participating in this activity...." Photograph after photograph shows guards--including supervisors--at parties in various stages of nudity, sometimes fondling each other. These parties take place just a few yards from the housing of other supervisors.

Balmy water once bathed Mars rock claimed to host life

In 1996, researchers suggested that microscopic rod-like structures in a Martian meteorite called ALH84001 were the fossilised remains of tiny bacteria. Although most researchers now doubt the claim, since the structures can be made inorganically, a new study suggests the rock was once bathed in water at the right temperature to support life as we know it (Image: NASA)

Balmy water once bathed Mars rock claimed to host life

Researchers have yet to confirm a controversial claim that a meteorite from Mars boasts fossilized life, but a new study suggests the rock did form in hospitable conditions.

The Big Picture

From BBC-Science:
Click to reveal

Pope puts his foot in his mouth ... again

If this moron could be any more stupid, it is beyond human understanding as to how.

The Pope says atheists are to blame for global climate change.

How to Irritate Dick Cheney

David Letterman's Top Ten

Tainted blood racket busted

Police charged six people, including a doctor, for spreading infectious diseases after they allegedly supplied blood contaminated with hepatitis B and C to blood banks in northern India, police said on Tuesday.

Tainted blood racket busted

Poland marks start of World War II

In 1939 Westerplatte near the Baltic city Gdansk was a military outpost guarding the entrance to Polish naval ports where 230 soldiers fought for 7 days under heavy bombardment by Nazi Germany's navy and air force.

Full Story

Le Voyage dans la lune



In 1902, Le Voyage dans la lune (A Trip to the Moon) premiered in French theaters. In many ways, it is the first "science fiction" film. Of course, it has been referenced on Futurama and The Mighty Boosh, and was the basis for the Smashing Pumpkins video "Tonight."

The director of the film, Georges Méliès, was a stage magician at the Theatre Robert-Houdin before becoming enchanted with cinema after seeing a demo of the Lumière brothers' camera technology.

Mythical Chupacabra Caught

Not so fast Chuck, Chupacabra caught?
Jerry Avery lives north of San Antonio, Texas and claims he has the body of what's being called the legendary chupacabra.

Mythical Chupacabra Caught

Arrest Made In Theft Ring That Hit Bernankes

A woman described by a federal agent as a heroin addict with a stash of wigs was arrested in Miami on charges of being part of an identity theft ring that targeted the wife of Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke.

Arrest Made In Theft Ring That Hit Bernankes

This Dog likes rubber

This isn't another dog-bites-man story.
This is a dog-bites-the-deputy's-tires story
Some dogs chase cars.
One in a North Carolina town decided to try and eat one.
The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office says a pit bull deflated all four tires of a deputy's cruiser near Hope Mills on Sunday.

Pit bull deflates all four tires on police cruiser as deputy responds to complaint about another dog

Man Tried To Pay For Gas With Pot

Frederick County sheriff's deputies have arrested a man after he allegedly offered store clerks in New Market marijuana to pay for gasoline.

Maryland Police Say Man Tried To Pay For Gas With Pot

Fears You Never Knew Existed

We’ve all seen the episodes of Maury, where the people with phobias come onstage and freak out about spiders and snakes. While the fear of snakes (ophiophobia) and spiders (arachnophobia) are fairly common and understandable, there are all kinds of weird phobias out there that defy explanation.

Here are 25 of the strangest.

Full Story

Cops give dog ticket for illegal parking

Now here is something you just don't see every day.

Australian traffic inspectors issued a ticket for illegal parking yesterday to a dog tied to a fence.

Aubrey O'Day: Castro and Hitler Were "Brilliant"

Yes, Aubrey O'Day appeared on Fox News last night and got into a debate about Fidel Castro and Adolf Hitler.

And, granted, she referred to each man as "brilliant," while not remotely condoning either of their actions.

But that shouldn't really be the story. Instead, one has to wonder: What on earth was O'Day doing on air in the first place?!?

This is a woman so desperate for attention that she Tweets nude photos of herself and invents lesbian crushes on various celebrities. Apparently, that makes her qualified to serve as an analyst for Handjob.

She actually sounds more intelligent than the wing nut host below, as O'Day can at least recognize gray areas and make a nuanced point. Why can't Castro be both brilliant and an awful human being? Enlighten us, Handjob ...

Merchants File Class Action Against PayPal

In a federal class action, online merchants say PayPal is selling them out in favor of buyers and credit card companies. Appliance wholesaler The Weiler Group claims PayPal's "chronically understaffed" dispute resolution department sides with buyers without conducting legitimate investigations, leading to "chargebacks" and "reversals" against seller accounts.

Weiler claims that at least twice PayPal caused it to incur losses on disputed purchases of kitchen items through a chargeback, wherein a buyer files a complaint with a credit card company to invalidate a payment. Weiler says PayPal allowed the chargeback "without any real explanation."

Class attorney Kevin Ruf said PayPal usually resolves disputes in favor of buyers because of the close relationship with credit card companies and banks that PayPal considers essential to maintaining its business.

"That relationship is vital and they have to keep the avenues open," Ruf said. "The sellers are captive. PayPal thinks they will always be there regardless, whereas the credit card companies may not, so they try to bend over backwards to please them."

Ruf said Weiler complained to PayPal about the chargebacks, but was given the runaround.

"They felt like there was a lot of halfhearted interaction, suggesting that the merits of their response was being taken seriously, but when the credit card company got involved, PayPal's message was, 'Gee sorry, you lose,'" Ruf said.

Ruf said a federal judge already has ordered PayPal to change its dispute resolution policies. He said that in 2004, U.S. District Judge Jeremy Fogel ruled that PayPal be "required to have a much more efficient procedure and take dispute resolution concerns seriously."

The class demands punitive damages, restitution and declaratory relief for violation of the Electronic Funds Transfer Act. It is represented by Kevin Ruf and Dale MacDiarmid with Glancy, Binkow and Goldberg of Los Angeles.

Recovery from kidnapping

Recovery from kidnapping

Kidnapping victims like Jaycee Dugard face a challenging process to resume a normal life.

How to avoid hidden travel fees

How to avoid hidden travel fees

Airlines and hotels now charge for items and services that used to be free.

When should kids learn to do dishes?

When should kids learn to do dishes?

Preparing your child for life beyond the nest should start at an early age, say experts.

The calmest place on Earth

The calmest place on Earth

Researchers have pinpointed the coldest, driest spot on the planet.

Best and worst pizzas for you

Best and worst pizzas for you

One restaurant's individual pie has 2,310 calories and more salt than 27 bags of chips.

Why mosquitoes prefer some to others

Why mosquitoes prefer some to others

Scientists learn why mosquitoes ignore some people while swarming others.

Daily Funny

What is the difference between a toilet and Convenience Store Clerk?

A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

Woman Fired for Disharmonious Font Use in Emails

On the heels of the dust-up over Ikea's catalog font change comes this story: a woman apparently fired for choosing the wrong fonts for her email.

Grandson Sues To Clear Josef Stalin Over Killings

Josef Stalin was in the dock on Monday when a Russian court held a preliminary hearing in a libel case brought by his grandson over a newspaper story which said the tyrant had ordered the killings of Soviet citizens.

Grandson Sues To Clear Josef Stalin Over Killings

The Internet Turns 40 This Wednesday

The Internet Turns 40 This Wednesday

Few people were paying attention back on Sept. 2, 1969.

The Internet Turns 40 This Wednesday

Some of us were.

Proverbial Wisdom

A Primary School teacher had twenty-six children in her class.

She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It’s hard to believe these were actually done by Primary School children. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1.

Don’t change horses

until they stop running.

2.

Strike while the

wasp is close.

3.

It’s always darkest before

Daylight Saving Time..

4.

Never underestimate the power of

termites.

5.

You can lead a horse to water but

How?

6.

Don’t bite the hand that

looks dirty.

7.

No news is

impossible

8.

A miss is as good as a

Mr.

9.

You can’t teach an old dog new

Maths

10.

If you lie down with dogs, you’ll

stink in the morning..

11.

Love all, trust

me.

12.

The pen is mightier than the

pigs.

13.

An idle mind is

the best way to relax

14.

Where there’s smoke there’s

pollution.

15.

Happy the bride who

gets all the presents.

16.

A penny saved is

not much.

17.

Two’s company, three’s

the Musketeers.

18.

Don’t put off till tomorrow what

you put on to go to bed.

19.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and

You have to blow your nose.

20.

There are none so blind as

Stevie Wonder .

21.

Children should be seen and not

spanked or grounded.

22.

If at first you don’t succeed

get new batteries.

23.

You get out of something only what you

See in the picture on the box

24.

When the blind lead the blind

get out of the way.

25.

A bird in the hand

is going to poop on you.

26.

Better late than

Pregnant

Ways to sabotage your job

10 ways to sabotage your job

In today's workplace, there are more ways to damage your career than ever before.

Swine flu: 10 things you need to know

10 things you need to know

How worried should you be, and how do you prepare for the expected surge of swine flu this fall? Don't panic
Also:

Monthly Observances

September is:

Apple Month
National Chicken Month
National Coupon Month
National Honey Month
National Mushroom Month
National Prime Beef Month
National Piano Month
National Rice Month

and

Shameless Promotion Month

Unusual Holidays and Celebrations

Today is Emma M. Nutt Day.

Daily Almanac

Today is Tuesday, Sept. 1, the 244th day of 2009.

There are 121 days left in the year.

Today in History, September 1.

Our Readers

Some of our readers today have been in:

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia
Zolling, Bayern, Germany
Penang, Pulau Pinang, Malaysia
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Auckland, Auckland, New Zealand
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Aguadilla, Aguadilla, Puerto Rico
Trinava, Trinava, Slovakia
Paris, Ile-De=France, France
Antwerp, Antwerpen, Belgium
Bratislava, Bratislava, Slovakia

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Sometimes, your dreams are just silly and weird plays your subconscious performs at night -- not visions of what your future holds.
So if disturbing images have been keeping you tossing and turning lately, don't worry too much about it.
This is just a phase that will be over soon.
Turn your attention away from your dreams, because you can't control them.
Instead, start exerting more power over your waking hours.
Then you'll start to see things change.

Ok