Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Friday, August 31, 2007

August ends with the Cat's sacrifice.

He gave his life that this Blog shall live!
(No, not really we don't have a cat, don't be so gullible, sheeesh!)

The 11 o'Clock News

When the shrub attended a fund raiser for Pete Domenici in Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, New Mexico, at least one sane person made it through the staged throng of 'shrubettes' to tell the truth. The dictator referenced was a great speaker, insane but a great speaker unlike the dictator-wannabe we are suffering under, he is just insane.

Night Funny

And I Quote


The Radical of one century is the conservative of the next.
The Radical invents the views.
When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

~ Samuel Clemons
aka Mark Twain

Stupid People

There are some stupid people out there, but this one is especially stupid, don't you think?!

Popeye's Last Supper

Pool Party Phollies

The Labor Day weekend bash is in full swing now and the pig is starting to smell good. John and Gail are our designated 'pig watchers' for the night and are taking the task quite seriously keeping the fire hot and making a lot of hot coals to be shoveled up under the pig to smoke it as they cool - they'll be up all night doing it, too.

Our first time guests Mark and Susan are fitting in with the rest of the crowd and Mark forgot to put on pants to go to the store until the Mrs., reminded him and Susan has been giving him hell - in a good way- about it for hours now. The other newcomers brought their teenager with them and took a bit longer to get in the swing of things but my 18-year-old granddaughter took charge of their 17-year-old son and when his wide-eyed shock wore off that girl would even talk to him, much less a naked teenage girl close to his own age he relaxed and has been in the pool playing with the other youngsters (the under thirty crowd).

Tonight's pot luck included practically every kind of dessert imaginable so it was a quick run to the deli for meats and cheeses but breakfast promises to be wonderful.

Seamus and Angus along with Mac Duff have already set the ground rules ... everybody has to play with them before they get in the pool or hot tub and the more people that go to the river the more Seamus and Angus like them - Mac Duff doesn't do the river (the snotty little bastard that he is).

People are still arriving and will be for several more hours and then again around midday tomorrow. Looks to be the best weekend party ever ... thus far.

Philosophy In Short

Time spent laughing is time spent with the Gods.

~ Japanese Proverb

And I Quote


Life is a great canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.

~ David Daniel Kominsky
aka Danny Kaye

Town Called Dobson

Roadside America


Roadside America:

There are roadside 'attractions' all over this land from the profound to the sublime to the quirky to the outright bizarre to the plain flat out weird.

One such 'attraction' is the "Gaffney Peach" the town of Gaffeny, South Carolina's peach shaped water tower. Shaped as such because of the miles of peach farms surrounding th old mill town. It is visible for miles along Interstate Highway 85 and is accessible from the frontage road off the exit at mile post 90 - the national historic Revoluntionary War Battlefield at Cowpens is also access off this exit, and for the nudists or those interested in being nudists ... Carolina Foothills Resort is also located off this exit as well.

Caffeine

Need your daily caffeine fix and tired of the less than zip in your coffee then check out the list above to see which "colas" have more caffeine than coffee (all 'soft' drinks have more caffeine than coffee but some teas have more than some 'soft' drinks).

It's Labor Day Weekend

It's the weekend we all celebrate working by not working, right?

Here and Chateau Nu and around the Alban Estate the plans are for intense labor over the BBQ and massive strain to remain afloat on the water and keeping our heads above hot water.

We will be joined in those endeavors by a multitude of friends, neighbors and a few odd relatives getting naked in the sun and feasting on the pot-luck picnic over the entire weekend - the first tents are being erected now (those people will be sleeping in that is) - I erected the canopies over the BBQ and outdoor tables yesterday, after I set up the BBQ and tables in the first place.

This year's annual Labor Day party and gathering has grown by leaps and bounds over previous years ... seems everybody wants to spend time on the farm nude, even got a few first timers who have committed to being here - in fact one couple of the first timers are already here and nude (neither have been nude outdoors before and the tanlines prove it - LOL), and are helping to erect the tents I have and helping people with their own, with my granddaughter "G" supervising the entire process.

Come to think of it I need to drain and refill the hot tub ...

Hilda

P.F. Chang's

A while back I posted about a 'new' bistro in town named P.F. CHANG'S and come to find out the "PF" stands for 'Pre-Fab'. That's right all their food is pre-made and frozen and shipped in to be thrown in the microwave by their 'chefs'.
No wonder they put on such a show up front with better than average decor and atmosphere ... they have to!

I had wondered about their lack of ability to make anything on the menu sans onions when the Mrs., and I tried the 'new' place in town, now I know ... and I am spreading the word. Not only is the food 'pre-fab' it is nothing to write home about - the hot teas were okay, so at least they didn't screw them up ... that time - unfortunately that will be the only time we ever grace them with our presence.

Avoid the P.F. CHANG'S CHINA BISTRO in your town!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Daily Word

Today's Daily Word is:

Sphygmus: (sfig' - mas) n (Medical) ... the pulse.

Be sure to follow the Daily Word for more words that you may not have heard of or know the meaning.

Here's an offer for you!

The Mrs., got an offer for a Gold MasterCard from Bank of Delaware in the mail today.

All she has to do is pay $89.00 "start-up fee" along with a $25.00 "application fee" and a $10.00 "administration fee" for which they will send her in return a Gold MasterCard with an incredible beginning credit limit of $75.00.

Let's see ... pay an out of state bank $124.00 and they will extend you "credit" in the amount of $75.00 ... sounds like a no brainer to me ... where does she sign up?!

(What is really sad, is that some people actually go for such a "deal")

Need a clue?


The current Miss South Carolina 'competing' in the Miss Teen USA Pageant is the poster child as to why our schools are so poor.

Have you heard this airhead's reason most American high school students can't find the United States on a world map?

She somehow goes from America to Iraq and then off into space as she rambles on saying the reason they can't find the nation they live in is that there aren't enough maps. Say what ... the lack of the proper number of maps is the reason students can't find the country and we need to educate students so they can read maps. I repeat, say what ...

The fact she is a 'blonde' only compounds the stupidity of the rambling - stereotypes and all.

Definitely a "Space for Rent" sign between those ears!

A Fine Line ...

There is a fine line between garbage, recyclables, and priceless antique treasures.

NEMO Fan

I don't have any air conditioning in my truck so my seven year-old granddaughter took it upon herself a couple of weeks ago to use her chore money and buy me a little hand-held "Finding Nemo" electric fan for me to keep in my truck so I "can stay cool with your new fan papa", because she thought it was too hot for me to be driving around without air conditioning.

"G", ya gotta love her! She makes me one proud papa.

I have used the devil out of that little fan, too!

Espresso


What's in your espresso!?

Despondent the shrub sulks.

Despondent over the departures of his brain and gonzo the shrub sits on the curb pouting and sulking after failing to catch up with the speeding getaway cars.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tomboy Pinup

Fall BBQs

While the heat of summer is still blasting us, autumn is approaching and Labor Day is the "official" kicking off point - though seasonally its September 21st or 22nd that autumn really begins.

Around here that means it's Barbeque season with all the churches and local fire stations holding their annual or semi-annual (some participate in the shorter spring BBQ season as well) BBQ dinners. Most of the local BBQ is surprisingly good for outsiders coming in - we locals knew that already - and some plan their vacations around the local BBQ season, some coming from Canada every year. There have been overseas visitors who have stumbled on our BBQ and have made a point to come back the next time they are over here during the season and some have had it delivered via overnight air express to their home in such places as London, Edinburgh, Warsaw, (that I know of), and several other smaller towns around Europe.

That's some good eating ...

Morning Funny

More Herbs, Less Salt

August 29th - today - is More Herbs, Less Salt Day.

One of the many holidays and celebrations we humans have invented for almost everyday of the year. Of those many this one is a better one for your health. More flavorful foods spiced with herbs and less sodium chloride ... yippie.

Having laid down salt (sodium chloride), for lent back when tricky-dick was resigning from the Whitehouse and not picking it back up since I support this 'celebration' whole heartedly and can do so with lower blood pressure than many of my contemporaries (without medications).

Go HERBS!

Oldie but Goodie

Chickenhawks

Chickenhawk - n - 1. A person enthusiastic about war, provided someone else fights it; particularly when that enthusiasm is undimmed by personal experience with war; most particularly when that lack of experience came in spite of ample opportunity in that person's youth. 2. A male who prefers sexual encounters with young boys.

With the Gung ho let's go to war and stay there attitude of the GOP -most of whom definitely fall under definition number 1 - and the growing list of GOPers that are 'coming out' as falling under definition number 2, one has to wonder!

It is very appropriate that the National Park Service provide the proper signage in the sample above.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Can't wait until tomorrow ...

I can't wait until tomorrow. I got up at 5am today after waking up with my whole left leg cramping at 3am. It's a bitch to have your heel touching your ass and you can't straighten it out. Thank god for Absorbine Jr. Horse liniment cut to a quarter strength, who cares if it is highly flammable, it works ... as it is right now as I am rubbing it on the same damn cramp again.

It's time for bed!

Do people still watch?

Does anyone actually still watch this "news channel"? Much less believe anything they say.
I mean other than the cabal and their loyal troglodytes, that is!

Bumper Sticker

I saw this bumper sticker recently:

I may be Schizophrenic , but at least I have each other!

A Funny

A man walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him something cold and full of gin.

The bartender looks at him and says,

"You want something cold and full of gin?

Here, take my wife!"

He could have said it today!


It is a common failing of totalitarian regimes that they cannot really understand the nature of our democracy. They mistake dissent for disloyalty.

~ Lyndon Baines Johnson
36th President of the United States of America


Though he uttered those words in response about North Vietnam forty odd years ago he could have said the same thing in reference to our own 'government' today!

Nude Presidents














Both John Adams the 2nd President of the United States of America and Lyndon Johnson the 36th President of the United States of America were skinny dippers.

They are but two of many of our presidents (and first ladies), who enjoyed being nude.

Thoughts on being a naturist ...


Less laundry bills.
Less stress.
More peace of mind.
Better health and well being.
More friends.
Open and meaningful living.
At ease in the natural world.

Yep, being a naturist sure helps with daily life.

So, take your clothes and cares off and enjoy life!

Wrongful Convictions

Ontario, Canada:

In another story of a wrongful conviction being over turned (see the Actual Innocence posting for the other story), the conviction of Steven Truscott for the rape and murder of a 12-year-old girl when he was but a 14 year-old himself was over turned today in Ontario, Canada.

Truscott was convicted and sentenced to hang on September 30, 1959, but his death sentence was quickly commuted to life in prison because the nation feared what the image of them hanging such a young boy - the youngest sentenced to hang in Canadian history - would be to the rest of the world.

Now at 62, Truscott, who has been living and raised a family under an assumed name since his parole after serving ten years in prison, has his name back and cleared due to new evidence.

Sometime justice does take a while.

Philosophy Reduced


You don't learn every lesson from a book.

And I Quote


















You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can.

~ Jimmy Carter
39th President of the United States of America

And I Quote

Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune and misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Actual Innocence

Goldsboro, North Carolina:

Dwayne Allen Dail is a free man after spending 18 years in jail for a crime he did not commit.

He was wrongly convicted and imprisoned in 1989 of child rape for the rape of a 12-year-old girl in 1987. He was convicted on the girls mistaken identification of him as her attacker and hair samples found at the crime scene "consistent" with his.

In 2001 his lawyer pushed for new DNA testing and the tests proved he was not the rapist but that another man already in prison was the man guilty of raping the 12-year-old.

The District Attorney asked that the conviction be reversed and Wayne county Superior Court Judge Jack Hooks Jr., set aside the conviction.

Dail's lawyer plnes to seek Governor Easley's pardon and erasure of the conviction and the $20,000 for each year Dail spent in prison wrongfully convicted.

What I want to see is his name removed from the sex offenders list as well ... but I think that will be the hardest part.

Greek Fire

Having been extremely busy over the past few days I haven't caught all the news but the snippets I have heard about the fire raging in Greece haven't been pretty.

First, I heard it had burned through Olympia, site of the original Olympic games ... which is a tragedy in and of itself from a historic and cultural perspective.

Second, I heard it was burning "over literally half that country" ... which is a horrible tragedy for the people of Greece and their lives and their livelihood.

Third, I heard that the fire was deliberately set ... which is so heinous that the one(s) guilty of doing so should be publicly beaten with a cat-o-nine because a: it would be severely painful, and b: they could never be made to make full restitution.
Sorry, but firebugs are firmly planted as one of the top social malcontents on my shit list.

Fourth, I heard that the fire was so massive it can be seen from space ... an achievement that should be of note but here is just another facet of the tragedy.

It is as if this Greek Tragedy has reached into the sublimely nebulous etherworld to become a Greek Comedy.

Forgive me but the pun was so open and as they say if there is an opening go for it, besides you have to laugh to keep from crying.

Editorials Four




Mark of a Successful Man

The mark of a successful man is one who has spent the entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Ladies from Hell

No one wants to face the Scots on the battlefield.
During WW1 the 'highlanders' earned the moniker "Damen ab Holle" aka "Ladies from Hell" from the the Germans because they fought like demons.
All who face faced off against the Scots throughout history have had similar 'names' for them ... you'd think they'd wise up by now wouldn't you?!

Portrait

Quiet Morning

It's been a quiet morning so far and I am worried ... yesterday was a quiet morning as well and I ended up having and bunch of people over and a burglar on top of that (see the Barnyard Follies post for details) ... what will today bring?

Working on my tan while typing this Blog, hearing the occasional bird chirp, contemplating a dip in the pool, solving the world's problems, yep that's pretty much it this morning.

Concentrate Hard

Fruitless search for a brain.

Bedtime for Gonzo

Alleluiah, alleluiah, come on everybody sing it with me, alleluiah Alberto is gone away!

Alberto Gonzales is resigning as Attorney General much to the delight of all sane and rational people in the nation. We had wondered where the shrub would find a worse Attorney General than Aschroft when Ashcroft resigned and he found Gonzo.

Never before have the top law enforcement officers of the nation been such law breakers as have these last two bozos ... even old J. Edgar tipped his hat at the law - granted he didn't do much more than tip it, but he did tip it.

Now, everybody sing ...

Alleluiah!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Non Sequitur


(Click image to enlarge)

Barnyard Follies

Chickens in the yard and cows on the porch:
the light in the window is a burglar's torch.

We had an uninvited guest a little earlier this evening and Bossie scared the bejesus out of them coming up on the porch behind them and bellowing a deep "Moo" - how the thief didn't hear her coming up the steps is amazing, I heard her from the other end of the barn.

The hapless fool then fell into the Mrs., roses -man that had to hurt and when she sees them he'll wish he was dead, only to roll out of the bushes into a dozen or so squawking hens who began to peck at him like nobody's business. At which point he looked up to see Seamus and Angus "grinning" at him and letting a low rumbling growl out of their throats not six inches from his face.

I swear he pissed himself then and then he lifted his eyes passed the dogs and saw my laughing hysterically but with my rifle trained on his head, I asked him if he was a 'city boy' to which he croaked 'yes sir'. I said I figured as much when I saw you jump when Bossie there 'mooed'.

We just waited there as we were until the police arrived to take him to jail for attempting to break into my home which wasn't long as there were several calls to the police from the various others hanging around the pool and hot tub and they all seem to have remembered their cell phones.

Then I had to convince Bossie to get off the porch and get back to the barn ... which I tell you wasn't the most easy ordeal I have had to face ... she makes a mule look outright congenial when she gets spooked!

It has been several months since the last poor souls tried to burgle my home ... there must be some new blood in the city that don't know about my security system because the last ones thought hell had opened up and two hell hounds had come forth to bite them a new asshole or at least that is what they told the cops who 'saved' them from Seamus and Angus. I guess Bossie wouldn't be left out so she took it upon herself to become a "watch cow" to keep up with the Labs.

In the corner pocket.

Daily Funny

No Rust


The Statue of Liberty should never rust.

Teflon was placed between the steel framework and the copper skin when they restored the statue.

Now, if we can polish the tarnish off that has covered it over the last 6 plus years it will shine as a beacon to the world once again.

Shine on Lady! Shine on!

And I Quote


No, I never did get lost, but I was bewildered for three days once.

~ Daniel Boone

Football Season

Now I understand why there are male cheerleaders!

One brave thing ...

Panthers one and two.


After winning 16 of 18 pre-season games over the last few years and having great teams with buzz about Superbowl appearances and winning that game bandied about only to falter during the season due to injuries, poor play, etc., the Carolina Panthers just might live up to their potential and all the 'expert's' buzz this year ... They have lost 2 0f 3 pre-season games so far this year!

History has proven that the best teams at the end of the season are the worst in pre-season. It's about time the Panthers got it right - pre-season loose - season win - post season win.

Go Panthers!

Fire in the sky!


Two people died and eleven where seriously injured as relatives watched from the ground when a Hot Air Balloon burst into flames over Western Canada in flight.

Passengers had to leap to the ground - some with their clothes aflame - to get out of the fire. The flaming balloon flew on to land near the U.S. border in an RV Park where it set three RVs and several vehicles on fire - no word as to anyone injured there.

My condolences and sympathies go out to the victims and their families and I wish for a speedy recovery for those injured. The senselessness of such a tragedy on what should have been a pleasurable afternoon defies all reason.

Easy like Sunday morning ...

This morning has been a lazy, warm morning with the birds even remaining quiet as if to not spoil the serenity. I like mornings like this ... even if it is morning.

Up and out feeding the animals at 6am (Yea, I know I slept in this morning) as the sun was fully dawning was a blast, even the cows were in a good mood - the chickens were a wee bit testy at first but they warmed up to the idea of the day quickly when I began to throw feed in the yard for them.

Seamus, Angus and I just finished our dip in the river and came on back to the house whereupon they took off for the lake and more water fun. For those that don't know Seamus and Angus are my Labrador Retrievers. At the moment I have Mac Duff (Alistair), bouncing around the room like a pinball wanting to get in my lap - Mac Duff is the Mrs., Jack Russell, by the way.

Living nude on the farm is what life is all about, hell living nude is all it is about ... lower laundry bills is a big thing you know.
Seriously though, living nude is a more calm and peaceful way of life with much less stress and much better health and with my neighbors also living their lives nude it makes for a close and friendly neighborhood (granted our 'neighborhood' is much larger than most as it is rural farming country next to a big city).

We had one harridan in the neighborhood for a while but she one day out of the blue showed up at our back door nude and has been that way ever since - and this was a women so prudish and spiteful she tried to forced a local ordinance through to require pets to wear clothes a year before her 'revelation'.
Also, with her epiphany came Seamus' liking of her. Prior to that she was the only person he has ever had a dislike for, even to the point of trying to bite her a new asshole on several occasions. Now they are the best of friends.

If only the heat would not rise today ...

Techno Nude


The trend of bands performing nude that was the craze in Europe in the late 60s and early 70s is making a comeback with the techno/dancebeat sound in Europe. Here's to hoping it catches on better here than it did back then ... of course the music back then was better. So let's have the first craze of nude performances we should have had 30 years ago with the music of 30 years ago!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

One Thousand

One thousand people have checked in to see what Carolina Naturally is all about, along with her sister Blog The Naked, The Nude and The Nekkid.

Thanks for your support.

Issues profound and mundane have been the bulwark of these Blogs and shall continue to be the bulwarks as well as a healthy dose of wit and irony that have already been hallmarks and keep the faithful and the new converts coming back for more.

Thanks again.

Night Funny


Did you ever have one of those days ...

Morning Funny

Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.

Friday, August 24, 2007

A Farewell To Arms

Battleboro, Vermont

The Selectboard of this small Vermont town has voted to drop the ban on nudity in the town that was prompted by teenagers the past two summers who started going about nude to say 'cool' in the heat. So it is back to being nude is O.K. in Battleboro, Vermont at the end of next month when the temporary ban is set to expire and since the Selectboard voted no to making it permanent it will wind up on the refuse heap where it belonged in the first place.

Several hundred readers ...

Several hundred readers check in with this Blog and her sister Blog regularly.

Not bad for being less than two months old.

I might actually be doing something right for a change, wow!

Who would have thought it possible.

Thanks for checking in everybody.

One A.M. Funny

My friend Bill Dentz called last night to say he was recovering nicely from the injuries he received when he went to a costume party dressed as a pinata.

Confused Says ...

It is bad luck to be superstitious!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Admit it, it's funny.

Behind our backs ...

Amazing Machine

Amazing Machine: The human heart is an amazing machine.
It beats about 100,000 times a day on average.
It does so with enough power to pump five quarts of blood every minute.

For all the shade tree mechanics left out there that's truly amazing because human blood is about the same consistency of 40weight oil and we all know it takes a pretty strong oil pump to pump oil throughout a 400cc small block engine. Just think the human heart does the same thing and the average adult human is a bit bigger than 400cc's too!

Vacation ...

The Confused Dictionary defines VACATION:

Vacation starts when Dad says, "I know a short cut."

Reality Check Please


While talking on the phone, whether it be on a cell phone or a stationary phone, may seem like a commonplace occurrence - and a pain in the ass - in reality more than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.