Slap-Stick Reality

The other day I posted a piece about two bozos who enacted a classic slap-stick gag and opined that I thought the video would be hilarious. It is short but it is quite humorous.
And here it is ...

Don't you just love it when reality imitates the theater!

It was less than a Great Escape.

Two New Zealand prisoners who were handcuffed together as they fled a courthouse foiled their own getaway when they ran to opposite sides of a light pole, slammed into each other and fell to the ground.

Jailers nabbed them as they struggled to their feet.

Their escapade on Wednesday was captured by a CCTV camera at Hastings District Court on New Zealand's North Island. The footage shows the two men trying to make a break for it - but apparently forgetting they were joined at the wrist.

Hastings police Senior Sgt Dave Greig said one inmate, Regan Reti, 20, had just been sent to prison for more than two years after being convicted of assault.

The other inmate, Tiranara White, 21, was in custody for allegedly stealing a car and violating parole.

"As they were being led from the Hastings police cells ... they made a bolt for freedom," Greig told The Associated Press on Thursday.

"They fell over and they were sprayed with pepper spray. But they got up and ran out of the court onto the street, across the road to a car park," he said. "That's where they met the pole - it was all over, rover."

The pair were back in court on Thursday, facing fresh charges of escaping from custody.

Police said Reti, who pleaded guilty to the charge, had a month added to his prison term. White did not enter a plea. He will remain in police custody while a psychiatric evaluation is carried out.

Grainy footage of the escapade shown on TV One News was billed as "one of the worst escape attempts ever seen".

Cattle Pastures in Deforested Amazon Now the Size of Iceland

From treehugger

Photo via the New York Times

The largest rainforest in the world is being chopped down almost entirely for a single purpose: beef. That's right, one of the biggest, most beautifully diverse ecosystems on the planet is being traded in—for hamburgers. According to a report from Mongabay, a full 80 percent of the land cleared by Amazon deforestation from 1996-2006 has been used to create cattle pastures.

The rainforest has been cleared at an astonishing rate over the last 12 years—and the cattle craze in the Amazon is only going to get worse.

Article continues: Cattle Pastures in Deforested Amazon Now the Size of Iceland

And I Quote

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality.
But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things.

~ T. S. Eliot

All You Need Is Narf

Pinky and The Brain

As of this moment ...

4236 Brave men and women will not be returning from Iraq
Alive!

What's the difference?

What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?

An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."
A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."

Police arrest man driving boom lift at 3 a.m.

From the "Drunk and Stupid" Department:

Mountlake Terrace, Washington, police knew something wasn't quite right after they spotted a man driving a piece of construction lift equipment down a street at 3 a.m. on Thursday.

The man, who apparently had been drinking, was in the lift bucket of the Genie Boom with an unopened six-pack of beer and a bag of beef jerky when police pulled the vehicle over.

He was clocked at 2 mph.

At first the 29-year old man told police he was just going to the store.

But when they asked him why he was in the bucket on the lift, he said he was delivering the $20,000 piece of construction equipment on a dare from a stranger he met on Craigslist, according to a police report.

The lift apparently had been taken from a construction site.

The man was jailed for investigation of theft.

Rescue a mixed blessing for lost hunter

From the "There's one born every minute" Department:

Being rescued was a mixed blessing for a man who got lost while hunting in Cheboygan County, Michigan. Howard Keshick became disoriented in Inverness Township in December and called for help on his cell phone. Police and a Coast Guard helicopter braved high winds and blowing snow to locate him.

But the Cheboygan Daily Tribune reported authorities discovered Keshick was a convicted felon and charged him with illegal possession of a firearm. Police said he claimed he didn't know the law applied to his black powder muzzleloader.

Keshick was bound over for arraignment in circuit court on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, he is scheduled for sentencing February 3, 2009 on charges including home invasion, property destruction and being a habitual offender.

Humorous English

These two prissy English guys are in the wild west of the US about 150 years ago.
They walk into a bar and they see a sign which says "WE PAY $100 FOR INDIAN SCALPS".
So Charles turns to Edgar and says "hey look that's easy money old chap, let us find us some natives."
So the two of them go out, find two Indians, scalp them and duly get their $100.

That night they slept in a tent on the edge of town.
The next morning Charles wakes up and sticks his head out of the tent and he sees 20,000 Indians standing in a circle around them.
He quickly gets back into the tent and shouts excitedly: "Edgar, we're rich, we're rich!"

Married Bliss

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them," demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price!"

On the PA system: "Cleanup on aisle 25, husband down."

And I Quote

Behind every successful man there's a lot of unsuccessful years.

~ Bob Brown

Daily Funny

I left my car in a garage the other day, when I came back to it the bumper and rear lights were all smashed up.

Then I found this note under the wiper.

It said:

I just accidentally reversed into your car.
Quite a few people saw me do it.
They think I'm leaving my name and details.
Well, I'm not.

Liars and Fools

Today's Liars and Fools are:

DaBrick Compared to Uncle Sam, Bernie Madoff is a rookie.
Handjob Skateboard parks will revitalize the economy?
O'Really Are you worried about your future?

Unusual Holidays and Celebrations

Have you swapped your seeds, yet?

It's National Seed Swap Day, you know.

Kentucky musters every Guardsman

It's a bad one, folks ...

Governor Steve Beshear deployed every last one of his Army National Guardsmen today, with his state still reeling after a deadly ice storm encrusted it this week.

More than half a million homes and businesses, most of them in Kentucky, remained without electricity from the Ozarks through Appalachia, though temperatures creeping into the 40s helped a swarm of utility workers make headway.

Finding fuel - heating oil along with gas for cars and generators - was another struggle for those trying to tough it out at home, with hospitals and other essential services getting priority over members of the public.

The addition of 3,000 soldiers and airmen makes 4,600 Guardsmen pressed into service.

It's the largest call-up in Kentucky history, which Beshear called an appropriate response to a storm that cut power to more than 700,000 homes and businesses, the state's largest outage on record.

Many people in rural areas cannot get out of their driveways due to debris and have no phone service, the governor said."With the length of this disaster and what we're expecting to be a multi-day process here, we're concerned about the lives and the safety of our people in their own homes,"

He said, "and we need the manpower in some of the rural areas to go door-to-door and do a door-to-door canvass ... and make sure they're OK."

*****

Kentucky could use a heatwave right about now.

Saturday Jam

Introducing a new feature: A 'Jam Session' of various musical styles each Saturday!
To start us off right we have ...

She Drives Me Crazy (original video)

Fine Young Cannibals

I Touch Myself (original video)

Divinyls

I'm Too Sexy (complete version)

Right Said Fred

I'm On My Way (original video)

The Proclaimers

Chick A Boom (doncha just love it?)

Groovie Ghoolies

Cookies for Einstein

The Animaniacs

New $3 LED Bulb Lasts 60 Years

The battle between CFL and LED bulbs may finally be over thanks to researchers at Cambridge University who have developed a $3 LED bulb that lasts for 60 years. The bulb, which is smaller than a penny, is 12 times more efficient than tungsten bulbs and three times more efficient than fluorescent bulbs.

Cambridge’s new 100,000 hour, mercury-free LED bulb uses a man-made semiconductor called gallium nitride that is grown on a cheap silicon wafer. Previously, gallium nitride has only been grown on pricey sapphire wafers.

According to researchers working on the project, the first low-cost LED bulbs could be in stores as early as 2011.

Full Story at Cleantechnica

New Ads Watch You Watching Them

Well, since I do not watch ads this won't effect me all that much ...

Increasingly, small cameras are being embedded in video screens in malls, health clubs, and grocery stores both to determine who is watching and to customize what is displayed to the audience.

Small cameras can now be embedded in the screen or hidden around it, tracking who looks at the screen and for how long. The makers of the tracking systems say the software can determine the viewer’s gender, approximate age range and, in some cases, ethnicity — and can change the ads accordingly.

That could mean razor ads for men, cosmetics ads for women and video-game ads for teens.

And even if the ads don’t shift based on which people are watching, the technology’s ability to determine the viewers’ demographics is golden for advertisers who want to know how effectively they’re reaching their target audience.

While the technology remains in limited use for now, advertising industry analysts say it is finally beginning to live up to its promise. The manufacturers say their systems can accurately determine gender 85 to 90 percent of the time, while accuracy for the other measures continues to be refined.

The full article can be found here, the links at the bottom of the article show the players in this area:

Quividi: http://quividi.com

TruMedia Technologies: http://trumedia.co.il

Studio IMC: http://www.studioimc.com

Ant Metropolis

As part of the documentary Ants! Nature’s Secret Power, cement was poured into an ant colony, allowed to harden, and then excavated to reveal an amazing metropolis:

Design by Superorganism

Check out the end of the video for to reveal an ant project equivalent to the Great Wall of China. Could this be a model for producing emergent structures with nanotechnology?

President Obama's Weekly Address

ADDRESS OF THE PRESIDENT
TO THE NATION
January 31, 2009

This morning I'd like to talk about some good news and some bad news as we confront our economic crisis.

The bad news is well known to Americans across our country as we continue to struggle through unprecedented economic turmoil. Yesterday we learned that our economy shrank by nearly 4 percent from October through December. That decline was the largest in over a quarter century, and it underscores the seriousness of the economic crisis that my administration found when we took office.

Already the slowdown has cost us tens of thousands of jobs in January alone. And the picture is likely to get worse before it gets better.

Make no mistake, these are not just numbers. Behind every statistic there's a story. Many Americans have seen their lives turned upside down. Families have been forced to make painful choices. Parents are struggling to pay the bills. Patients can't afford care. Students can't keep pace with tuition. And workers don't know whether their retirement will be dignified and secure.

The good news is that we are moving forward with a sense of urgency equal to the challenge. This week the House passed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan, which will save or create more than 3 million jobs over the next few years. It puts a tax cut into the pockets of working families, and places a down payment on America's future by investing in energy independence and education, affordable health care, and American infrastructure.

Now this recovery plan moves to the Senate. I will continue working with both parties so that the strongest possible bill gets to my desk. With the stakes so high we simply cannot afford the same old gridlock and partisan posturing in Washington. It's time to move in a new direction.

Americans know that our economic recovery will take years -- not months. But they will have little patience if we allow politics to get in the way of action, and our economy continues to slide. That's why I am calling on the Senate to pass this plan, so that we can put people back to work and begin the long, hard work of lifting our economy out of this crisis. No one bill, no matter how comprehensive, can cure what ails our economy. So just as we jumpstart job creation, we must also ensure that markets are stable, credit is flowing, and families can stay in their homes.

Last year Congress passed a plan to rescue the financial system. While the package helped avoid a financial collapse, many are frustrated by the results -- and rightfully so. Too often taxpayer dollars have been spent without transparency or accountability. Banks have been extended a hand, but homeowners, students, and small businesses that need loans have been left to fend on their own.

And adding to this outrage, we learned this week that even as they petitioned for taxpayer assistance, Wall Street firms shamefully paid out nearly $20 billion in bonuses for 2008. While I'm committed to doing what it takes to maintain the flow of credit, the American people will not excuse or tolerate such arrogance and greed. The road to recovery demands that we all act responsibly, from Main Street to Washington to Wall Street.

Soon my Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, will announce a new strategy for reviving our financial system that gets credit flowing to businesses and families. We'll help lower mortgage costs and extend loans to small businesses so they can create jobs. We'll ensure that CEOs are not draining funds that should be advancing our recovery. And we will insist on unprecedented transparency, rigorous oversight, and clear accountability -- so taxpayers know how their money is being spent and whether it is achieving results.

Rarely in history has our country faced economic problems as devastating as this crisis. But the strength of the American people compels us to come together. The road ahead will be long, but I promise you that every day that I go to work in the Oval Office I carry with me your stories, and my administration is dedicated to alleviating your struggles and advancing your dreams. You are calling for action. Now is the time for those of us in Washington to live up to our responsibilities.

In Keeping With B.A.D.

In keeping with B.A.D. (Blogroll Amnesty Day)

Let me introduce to you:

Sue's Daily Photos

Acerbic Politics

Malaysia Topic

Naked Jen


These are just four blogs you might find interesting.

Uncovering the beginnings of the Final Solution

The Holocaust has a landscape engraved in the mind's eye: barbed-wire fences, gas chambers, furnaces.

Less known is the "Holocaust by Bullets," in which over 2 million Jews were gunned down in towns and villages across Ukraine, Belarus and Russia.
Their part in the Nazis' Final Solution has been under-researched, their bodies left unidentified in unmarked mass graves.

"Shoah," French filmmaker Claude Lanzmann's documentary, stands as the 20th century's epic visual record of the Holocaust.
Now another Frenchman, a Catholic priest named Patrick Desbois, is filling in a different part of the picture.
Desbois says he has interviewed more than 800 eyewitnesses and pinpointed hundreds of mass graves strewn around dusty fields in the former Soviet Union.
The result is a book, "The Holocaust by Bullets," and an exhibition through March 15th at New York's Museum of Jewish Heritage.

Read the rest here.

Our Readers

Our readers today have been in:

Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Odense, Fyn, Denmark
Inman, South Carolina, United States
Calcutta, West Bengal, India
San Mateo, California, United States

Daily Horoscope

Today's horoscope says:

Don't expect everybody to agree with everything you say.

No worries mon!
Despite accusations to the contrary from some closed-minded quarters I have never harbored any expectations that everyone must agree with everything I say.
(Or that anyone agree with anything I say for that matter.)