Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Oh, no he didn't ...

a. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
b. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before
c. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
d. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
e. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine
f. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
g. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
h. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
i. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
j. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
k. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
l. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
m. Definition of a will: A dead give away.
n. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
o. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
p. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
q. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll be repossessed.
r. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
s. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
t. You feel stuck with your debt if y ou can't budge it.
u. Local Area Network in New Zealand or Australia: the LAN down under.
v. Every calendar's days are numbered.
w. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
x. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
y. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
z. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

AND:
aa. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
ab. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
ac. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
ad. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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