Daily Funny

A Carolina farmer is overseeing his herd in remote mountain valley when suddenly a brand-new Dodge advances out of a fog bank towards him. The driver, a young man in a designer suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, 'If I tell you exactly how big your herd is, will you give me one of your calves?'

The farmer looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, 'Sure, why not?'

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .

Within seconds he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the farmer.

He watches as the yuppie selects one of the animals and looks on, amused, as the yuppie stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the farmer says to the young man, 'Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?'

The yuppie thinks about it for a second, smirks and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You work for the Federal Government', says the farmer.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the yuppie, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required,' answered the farmer. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used all kinds of expensive equipment that clearly somebody else paid for. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are even though you don't know a thing about cows - this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.