The things you hear at a Renaissance Festival

Oh, the things you hear at a Renaissance Festival:

... and then it got weird.

Some days it just isn't worth chewing though the leather restraints.

You might as well stop talking to them, they're not listening anyway.
(a lass telling a lad to look up)

My girlfriend likes them, too!
(same as above)

Knives and leather or whips and chains?

With all these Kilts around I am praying for a hurricane.

You are a pustule on a canker on a diseased cow's arse.

Drink and eat Mary!

Do you mind if my parrot watches?

Loose women tightened here.

I tried to contain myself. But I escaped.

Blow job red here I come.
(a girl putting on red lipstick)

I roll that way.

I think this whole town is high.

*****
FYI: Today was opening day for the 2008 Renaissance Faire around here: and the above was heard within the first hour ... and then it got weird.