Arachnoleptic Fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
Decaflon (n.) The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you’ve been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ETry.
Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (n.), which has made a meal of many species.
Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie about yourself that leads to sex.
Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding dwell.
Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.
Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.
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