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The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Thursday, May 13, 2010

They walk among us ...

What an idiot ...

Slug-eating dare lands man in hospital with worm disease
An Australian man is fighting for his life after he ate a slug on a dare.


Man returns stolen beer saying they weren't cold enough
After reportedly stealing beer from a Clarksville gas station, a man brought the drinks back minutes later and attempted to exchange the stolen beers because they weren’t cold enough.

A clerk told police that she went into the back of the store while re-stocking the beer, and when she returned a few cases were missing, according to a Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office report.

At that point, the man — who appeared drunk, the clerk said — came in with the warm beer and asked to exchange it.

When the clerk asked if he’d paid for the beer, he grew “anxious,” the report said, asked for directions to Wilma Rudolph Boulevard and left.

Inmate fled wearing only socks and shackles
An inmate decked a detention deputy and ran off from a hospital wearing only socks and ankle shackles, the Polk county Sheriff's Office said. Bradley Norris, 20, was arrested minutes later, about 300 yards from the Lake Wales Hospital, the sheriff's office said. Norris was at the hospital for medical reasons and had been there since Friday with a detention deputy assigned to his room. He had been arrested on 10 counts of violation of probation, which included grand theft, burglary and trespassing.

At around 12:20 p.m., Norris asked detention Deputy Michelle Threatt if he could use the restroom, the sheriff's office said. Inmates at hospitals are secured to the hospital bed with handcuffs and shackles. Before Norris got up from the bed, Threatt shackled his ankles together, which is standard operating procedure.


When he got up from the bed, Norris attacked Threatt and hit her on the head, according to the sheriff's office. He then struggled with her, overpowered her and fled the room. He lost his hospital gown during the struggle and ran from the room wearing only socks and ankle shackles, the sheriff's office said. Threatt was bleeding profusely but chased after Norris through the hospital hallway and down three flights of stairs.

The Lake Wales Police Department and Polk County Sheriff's Office were contacted by radio. Norris was spotted 300 yards from the hospital at the Lake Wales Art Center and taken into custody, the sheriff's office said. The charges of escape and battery on a law enforcement officer are pending, the sheriff's office said.

Woman charged with forcing 5-year-old son to smoke cigarette while teaching him not to smoke

A Johnson City woman has been charged with child abuse and other charges after Carter County deputies received complaints that she had forced her 5-year-old child to smoke a cigarette. Jordon Paige Hensley, 24, of 2468 Lakewood Drive, Johnson City, was charged with child abuse and neglect, disorderly conduct and possession of Schedule VI drug.

Deputy Cory Tidwell said he was dispatched to the Watauga Lake Overlook on Wilbur Lake at 8 p.m. when he spotted the car the woman was reported to be driving. He stopped her car at the Misty Waters Store and asked her if she had given her son a cigarette. Tidwell said she admitted she had given the boy a cigarette and said she did it because “she was teaching him not to smoke.”


While he was talking with Hensley, a witness to the incident pulled into the parking lot and told Tidwell he had seen Hensley stick the cigarette in the boy’s mouth and also saw the child exhale smoke and begin coughing. He said he also saw the child running around and his mother screaming at him to keep running. He said that when the child fell to the ground screaming that he could not run anymore, Hensley jerked him up by his arm and told him he had better keep running.

As he continued to talk to Hensley, Tidwell said, he noticed she appeared to be trying to hide something. He told her to show him her hands and she told him “no.” When he again asked, she again refused. Tidwell then removed her from the car and placed her in restraints. He then checked where she was sitting and found a small bag of marijuana, according to the report. A passenger in the car, Chester Paul Kyle III, 36, 2468 Lakewood Drive, was also arrested on charges of violation of probation. The two are scheduled to answer the charges in Sessions Court on May 21.

Man committed suicide after fears that people were laughing at his constant blushing
A man who was convinced he was being humiliated on the internet because of his constant blushing gassed himself, an inquest has heard. Gifted musician and artist Luke Shears thought the New York Police Department was monitoring his body and home for when he blushed and then posting it on the world wide web so people could laugh at him.

Mr Shears, 43, was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and attempted suicide several times before he was found dead by police at his flat in Winchester, Hampshire, in July last year. The inquest in Winchester was told that Mr Shears had retreated from the world as he felt the blushing got worse. He even had a nerve cut to try and stop it and he used fake tanning to hide it. The fixation had started while he was working in New York in 1993.

On the night he died, Mr Shears was due to have dinner with his sister Emma but he failed to turn up and she raised the alarm. His father Barry told the hearing that his son was a "lovely man" but he did not know why the fixation with his blushing started.

Central Hampshire coroner Grahame Short recorded a verdict of suicide. "It's clear he suffered from a psychosis. It's also clear from the reports I have read he was suffering from paranoid schizophrenia which was a result of a tendency to blush," he said. "His life became dominated by his strong desire to avoid situations where he might blush. Furthermore, the total belief he was being watched."

Man accidentally kills wife while committing suicide
A 70-year-old man who committed suicide by shooting himself in the head early on Sunday morning ended up killing his wife with the same bullet, Wichita police said. The woman's daughter called police when she discovered their bodies at about 1 p.m. on Sunday in the 3400 block of South Everett, Lt. Ken Landwehr said.

Gene Whitmore was lying on the bed when he pulled the trigger of the medium-caliber handgun, Landwehr said. The bullet passed through his head from right to left and then struck 66-year-old Betty Whitmore in the head, killing her as she slept. "I have never worked one like this before," Landwehr said.

There is no indication Whitmore intended to injure his wife, he said. Their bodies were found two to three feet apart. Investigators think the shooting occurred at about 4 a.m., Landwehr said.

None of the people staying in the house heard the gunshot, he said. Gene Whitmore had been notably depressed for the past few days, his stepdaughter told police. He had been out of work for more than a year.

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