Woman admits stealing bacon to fund 28-pint-a-day booze habit

A thief dubbed 'Britain's drunkest woman' has admitted that she stole bacon in order to fund her somewhat excessive habit of downing 28 pints a day. 31-year-old Dawn Marsden has received a six-month conditional discharge in Hartlepool Magistrates' Court after admitting to stealing 10 packs of bacon to help fund her boozy ways.

Jobless Marsden was so drunk when she appeared for sentencing that she had to ask reporters what her punishment was afterwards. "You may have noticed my client has a drink problem," her solicitor told Hartlepool Magistrates’ Court. "It’s something she is seeking advice upon and getting help. She tells me on occasion she will drink up to 16 liters a day.

"She has a long-standing appetite for alcohol. Someone under the influence of alcohol has clouded judgment, and that’s why she expresses regret for her actions.” Marsden, whose two-year-old daughter was taken into foster care over her monstrous appetite for alcohol, admitted the new charge and received a six-month conditional discharge, although she slurred to reporters that the sentencing was a "sham".

Addiction counselor Dr Robert Lefever said that Marsden was an "Olympic athlete" when it came to drinking, although that wasn't quite the compliment that it sounds. She should be dead at those levels. The reason she isn't is that she has trained her body by drinking every day. She is the equivalent of an Olympic athlete when it comes to drinking."