Wheelchair-bound man bludgeoned with tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!

In an incident that contained all the illegality of regular assault but with 70 percent less saturated fat, a wheelchair-bound man was bludgeoned with a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! last Wednesday in South Lake Union, Seattle.

According to the Seattle Police Department, the victim, who lives in a shelter, was confronted by another resident, who accused the victim of having his television turned up too loud.

The suspect repeatedly hit the victim over the head with a 16-ounce tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! Officers arrived to find the victim covered in the imitation butter.

The suspect told officers he poured the fake butter on the victim but denied hitting him with the tub. The suspect was arrested and booked into King County Jail.