Lush Dimbulb Insanely Claims Liberals Want To Use Ticks To Force People To Be Vegetarians

During the broadcast of The Lush Dimbulb Hate Talk Show on Friday, Dimbulb stated that there is a tick in Texas that makes people allergic to beef and radical liberals…

Just when you thought you’d heard it all from Lush Dimbulb, that he’d finally scraped the bottom of the barrel and couldn’t get any nuttier, he surprises you and says something that leaves you in slack-jawed wonder. During the broadcast of The Lush Dimbulb Hate Talk Show on Friday, the wingnut radio hack claimed that the First Lady is pushing “militant vegetarianism” on the American public because she believes in “big government” and that it needs to have “as much control over people and the country and life as possible.” Dimbulb then stated that there is a tick in Texas that makes people allergic to beef and radical liberals will probably start mass producing the ticks to force the public off of beef and make them vegetarians.

Dimbulb started the segment by ripping Michelle Obama (natch) over statements she had made at lunch earlier this week. He then used that as a segue to rail against the First Lady’s initiative to promote better nutrition and end childhood obesity, claiming that it is her way to impose government in our lives. Dimbulb also said that everything is political with Democrats. Therefore, the First Lady isn’t interested in promoting a better lifestyle. Instead, she is merely pushing a political agenda. Just for good measure, El Lushbo included global warming with this as he feels the two are related.

Below is Dimbulb ranting about how vegetarianism is part of a political agenda.

But the people that don’t see that are the people that hate politics, they tune it out, they don’t want any part of it. It’s too much acrimony. There’s not enough getting along. And so to them, global warming, it’s not politics. It’s science. Well, imagine me trying to come along and convince people that vegetarianism is political. “What? Are you crazy? Does everything have to be political to you?” I can imagine people listening, you know, scanning by, young people, and me on a rant, they catch it in the middle about militant vegetarians, and say, “This is absolutely absurd.”

And if they stop and listen, fine, we’ll get ‘em, but if they keep going, we’ll lose ‘em. But imagine the difficulty in trying to explain that vegetarianism is part of a political agenda. And it is with some people. Not all vegetarians. Most of ‘em are dupes. Most of them just think they’re eating healthier. (interruption) Ruin what? (interruption) Yeah, most of ‘em are dupes in the sense they don’t understand they’re part of a political agenda. I’m not insulting ‘em. I’m actually exempting them from being part of the political movement. (interruption) You’re a dupe. If you’re a vegetarian and you don’t realize there’s a political agenda attached to what you’re doing, you’re being duped, you’re a dupe. Yes.

Because vegetarianism is political. And you know how I know? And this is the challenge. The challenge is to persuade, convince people of this. “How can that possibly be, Mr. Dimbulb? You know, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but my mom always said you were an extreme, really way-out-there kind of guy, and this kind of proves it, vegetarians political?”

Dimbulb then made his way to crazy town. First, he pressed his listeners not to accept vegetarianism in this country. Basically, his argument is that if you merely accept vegetarianism in this country, it opens the door for the radical leftists to force their political agenda down your throat and make you do things you don’t want to do. Finally, Dimbulb inserted his crazy conspiracy theory about the Democrats using ticks to force people to stop eating meat.

“This bizarre problem was only discovered a few years ago but is growing as the ticks spread from the Southwest and the East to more parts of the United States. In some cases, eating a burger or a steak has landed people in the hospital with severe allergic reactions. The culprit is the Lone Star tick,” named for Texas, a state famous for meaty barbecues. Of all things, a tick that can make people swear off beef found smack-dab in the middle of cattle country.

Now, let’s just see. We may never get any news on this, but this is the kind of thing that militant vegetarians will find and make a big deal out of. What do you think the whole effort to ban beef and burgers in McDonald because of global warming is? You think that’s not political? There’s any number of ways to illustrate how everything the left does is political. (interruption) What, radical vegetarians? Now, that’s a bit of — (interruption) Yes, I know. I don’t think you’re kidding. (interruption) All right, all right, I’ll remember you said it. Snerdley thinks the radicals are gonna try to get hold of these ticks and mass produce them, mass grow ‘em and spread ‘em all over the country in order to get people to stop eating beef.

Well, let’s just put it this way, if that happens I wouldn’t be surprised. That’s how committed they are to making everybody do what they do, ’cause remember now it’s all about global warming and saving the planet, folks. Eating beef, not eating beef, vegetarianism, all of this, it’s all political.

There you go, people. Be scared. Be very scared. The First Lady and her posse of militant vegetarians are going to unleash a bunch of ticks where you live so you’ll stop eating hamburgers. Now, pass me that Oxycontin.