Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Sunday, December 7, 2014

For Sale on Craigslist: Cursed Sword

Would you like to own a sword? Of course you do! Everyone wants—shoot, everyone needs—at least one sword. This lady in the Austin, Texas area owns over 100 of them. She wants to part with this beauty because it’s haunted:
This sword is from the 1700s. I got it at an antique store in my memaw's home town back in 1984. The person who sold it to me told me to be careful because there is a 90+% chance that it is cursed. Since it's been in my house my life has descended into pure chaos. My knitting group came over and they all said they could feel a strange energy in my sword room (I have a collection of over 100 swords. This is my only haunted sword). Since i got this sword, about 3 times a week a crucifix will fall off of my wall for no reason. I am 76 years old. I cannot have this cursed item in my house anymore. Please take it off my hands!!
It’s not that bad, but she’s tired of having to perform Constitution saving rolls every 10 rounds.

No comments: