Santa
is huggable and lovable, and one heck of a nice guy, but these ten
films show a different side of Santa, bringing a touch of the bizarre to
a world full of run-of-the-mill Xmas movies.
1. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964, USA)-
This
kooky old sci-fi flick features Santa Claus squaring off against
militant Martians who have abducted him, along with a couple of kids, so
they can put Santa to work making toys for the children of Mars.
Santa
Claus Conquers the Martians is an admittedly schlocky flick, but
there's something delightfully kitschy about the film that makes it a
yearly Xmas tradition in my house!
2. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984, USA)-
When
Santa comes down your chimney with a bag full of toys he's your buddy,
but when he shows up with a fire axe you'd better watch out!
Silent
Night, Deadly Night is one of two movies from the 80s featuring a
crazed killer in a Santa outfit, but unlike the earlier Xmas Evil
this film almost makes you feel sorry for the killer!
3. Santa Claus (1959, Mexico)-
This
odd film from Mexico gives us a glimpse inside Santa's Toyland castle
in outer space where he employs the famous wizard Merlin and watches
over all the boys and girls in the world. His operation is threatened
when Satan sets out to kill him by making every kid in the world turn
naughty, sending the slapstick devil Pitch to Earth so he can finish the
job.
Can Santa save the children of the world (mostly Mexico, of
course) from turning in to rotten little brats? Hunt this vintage oddity
down and find out! (The MST3K version is on Netflix).
4. Santa's Slay (2005, Canada/USA)-
Santa has never looked as badass, or as physically imposing, as he does in the dark comedy
Santa's Slay, starring WWE wrestler Goldberg as angry old Saint Nick.
In
this horrifically funny flick you can't spell Satan without Santa, the
Devil's only son who lost a curling match to an angel and was forced to
be nice and deliver presents for 1000 years. His contract expires in
2005, so Santa makes up for lost time by going on a killing spree, with
some help from his hell-deer and an incredible physique that allows him
to waste puny humans in lots of festive ways!
5. Rise Of The Guardians (2012, USA)-
Rise of the Guardians is
admittedly the tamest and least bizarre flick in the bunch, but its
portrayal of Santa as a badass Russian woodsman who sports tattooed
sleeves and some wicked looking sabers is quite unusual.
This
mighty manly version of Santa also employs a bunch of Yetis in his
workshop, because elves just aren't macho enough for Nicholas St. North!
6. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010, Finland)-
If there's one Xmas movie that must be seen to be believed it's
Rare Exports,
a ghoulishly good import from Finland. This dark, depraved, and
downright surreal flick centers around a group of reindeer herders who,
thanks to some scientific excavations, discover the one and only Santa
Claus buried deep beneath the earth.
Rare Exports is a great Xmas horror flick for those who have strong stomachs, and Santa's elves in the film will scar you for life!
7. Xmas Evil aka You Better Watch Out (1980, USA)-
Xmas Evil
is the original 80s Santa slasher flick, and it's definitely the better
of the two films. The filmmakers actually manage to create an
interesting, and disturbing, character study of a truly psychotic
individual who is obsessed with taking on the role of Santa.
This
is the Santa movie that left many 80s kids scared to death that Santa
was going to come down their chimney and "get" them if they were
naughty! (Trailer has some NSFW violence)
8. Santa With Muscles (1996, USA)-
The
Hulkster has starred in some pretty terrible movies after his
professional wrestling career, but none of his movies can hold a pine
scented candle to
Santa With Muscles.
It's a strange
flick, yet not really watchably strange like the rest of the movies on
this list, but if you're brave enough to attempt a full viewing here it
is in its entirety!
9. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny (1972, USA)-
Santa flicks don't come much more surreal than
Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny, a laughably bad movie that has become a cult classic because of its bizarre thematic elements and bad dialog.
Santa's
sleigh is stuck in the sand on a Florida beach, so he calls forth
children, animals and a guy in a gorilla suit to help him out, but
nothing seems to work so the Ice Cream Bunny comes to the rescue in his
red fire engine.
10. J'ai rencontré le Père Noël/I Believe In Santa Claus (1984, France)-
Santa helps two young children rescue their parents from an African prison in the French Xmas comedy
J'ai rencontré le Père Noël (I
Believe In Santa Claus/Here Comes Santa Claus). This obscure film stars
Karen Cheryl as a fairy who helps the kids, and Santa, rescue the
captive parents just in time for Xmas, and Karen's singing is
showcased whenever possible throughout the film.
If
you're tired of watching the same old Xmas movies and you're
looking for a fun flick that's a little off you can't go wrong with any
one of the ten flicks on this list. But be forewarned- Santa will never
look the same again after you watch these movies!
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