Texas School Suspends 9-Year-Old For Terrorism Because He Brought Imaginary Hobbit Ring To Class

by Stephen D Foster Jr 

A nine-year-old boy has been suspended by officials at a Texas school because they believe bringing an imaginary Hobbit ring to class is an act of terrorism.
When Aiden Steward watched “The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies” earlier this week with his family, he naturally wanted to pretend to be a character from the film. Specifically, he pretended to be Bilbo Baggins, the hesitantly brave hero who acquires a magic ring from the creature Gollum in the first movie in the trilogy, which is based on a book written by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Forged at the fictional location of Mount Doom, it is “the one ring to rule them all,” giving the wearer the power of invisibility. The power of the ring aided Bilbo during his journey. So, Aiden brought a ring of his own to Kermit Elementary School and told his friends that they, too, could become invisible by using his ring. Again, the ring had no powers whatsoever, because this is reality.
This being Texas, of course, school officials for some reason believed Aiden was making threats of terrorism against his friends with a magical object and suspended him, much to the disbelief of his parents.
John Steward, Aiden’s father, told the New York Daily News, “It sounded unbelievable.”
“Kids act out movies that they see. When I watched Superman as a kid, I went outside and tried to fly. I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence. If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”
Principal Roxanne Greer has cowardly declined to comment on the matter, citing student privacy, but it’s most likely that she is just too embarrassed about the situation to make a statement.
Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time Kermit Elementary has punished Aiden for things that seem to only bother Texas.
Aiden once brought his favorite book to school to impress his teacher, but school officials freaked out because “The Big Book of Knowledge” had a section about pregnancy and included an illustration of a pregnant woman. In another innocuous incident, Aiden referred to a black student as black, which drew yet another suspension from the school.
To recap, school officials at Kermit Elementary School in Texas have suspended a boy three times for three ridiculous reasons. They couldn’t handle an imaginary magical ring from a beloved work of fantasy fiction which is carried by many school libraries. They couldn’t handle a children’s book full of facts that help kids learn. And they couldn’t handle a nine-year-old boy knowing what color a classmate’s skin is.
Once again, Texas proves that it is an embarrassment to the nation.