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Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Sunday, April 10, 2016

Florida Men Kill What May or May Not Have Been a Dinosaur

Florida Man Lee Lightsey and fellow Florida Man Blake Godwin claimed they killed an 800-pound alligator that had been gleefully leaving mutilated cow parts all over the place. Just like that.
"It was a monster that needed to be removed," Lightsey told the BBC, like a perfectly normal human being, and not at all like a ruthless killing machine planted by Skynet or Vladimir Putin.
The pair played coy, giving no rational explanation as to how they actually killed the 15-foot Cloverfield extra beyond claiming Lightsey "shot" it, merely mentioning they had to drag it home in a tractor with an air of nonchalance.
Being the Dana Scully acolytes and Florida Man connoisseurs we are, we've compiled a list of 10 irresponsibly speculative conspiracy theories as to how this Leviathan really died, based on a careful analysis of past

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