Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

Behind our backs ...

Amazing Machine

Amazing Machine: The human heart is an amazing machine.
It beats about 100,000 times a day on average.
It does so with enough power to pump five quarts of blood every minute.

For all the shade tree mechanics left out there that's truly amazing because human blood is about the same consistency of 40weight oil and we all know it takes a pretty strong oil pump to pump oil throughout a 400cc small block engine. Just think the human heart does the same thing and the average adult human is a bit bigger than 400cc's too!

Vacation ...

The Confused Dictionary defines VACATION:

Vacation starts when Dad says, "I know a short cut."

Reality Check Please


While talking on the phone, whether it be on a cell phone or a stationary phone, may seem like a commonplace occurrence - and a pain in the ass - in reality more than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

And I Quote

The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.

~ Carlyle

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good: You give the "Birds and Bees" talk to your daughter ...

The Bad: she keeps interrupting ...

The Ugly: with CORRECTIONS!

All in good time ...

In the United States, you can't keep an eye on the clock when you go to mail a letter.

The clocks have been removed from 37,000 post offices as part of a "retail standardization program." The idea is that it will give all the post office's public service areas a uniform look. Stephen Seewoester, a spokesman for the U.S. Postal Service in Dallas, Texas, said the agency wants its customers to focus on the service, not the clock.

"I guess they think people don't have watches, " retorted Leonard Berry, a customer service expert at Texas A&M University.

If it was me I'd be wanting them to focus on anything BUT the service.
But, hey, it's the government - no wait they're not part of the government anymore!
Ahemm, it's just another case of stupid herding mentality then and doing anything but actually fixing the "problem".

Big Surprise

Olga Mauriello, who lives in a town near Naples, Italy, was peeling potatoes when she realized one of the spuds wasn't a potato at all. It was a hand grenade from the Second World War. Mauriello had had the potatoes soaking in water and wasn't expecting to find what she did.
"If I hadn't felt its weight, I wouldn't even have realized that it was a bomb," Mrs., Mauriello said.
She called neighbors who then called the police. The police took care of safely detonating the grenade in a park.

It's believed the potatoes - and the antique grenade - originated in France.

Talk about a wee bit of something exciting for dinner!

Brave Daughter

Dayna Lineberger was driving when she started to feel faint. Bothered by ulcerative colitis, she knew she and to get something to eat, but before she could pull into a restaurant, she passed out.
Her 11-year-old daughter, sitting in the back seat of the car, leaned forward and grabbed the steering wheel, swerving to miss hitting a car. She wasn't quite fast enough to avoid a tree, but it caused the car to stop, and no one was hurt from the impact.
The Charlotte, North Carolina, youngster said she "screamed like crazy" during the ordeal, but was happy to help prevent what could have been a serious accident.

Way to go girl!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Bunny Porn


I know I said early on there would be nudity on this Blog but no Porn. Looks like I was mistaken!

Morning Funny

INSULT # 678: Sleep is a 'four-letter' word ... said the insomniac to the narcoleptic!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Two Hundred Posts

It's all 'PLUS" from here!
Carolina Naturally has reached the 200th post milestone - time to celebrate!
Party at John's place!
Weekly the second Tuesday of the week.

Butterflies speak to my soul ...


Have you ever wondered at the beauty of nature and saw the butterfly in flight?

Down an open road.


Down a open road. Driving down an open road is part of the American Dream. Songs and stories have been written about it. Hell, our entire culture is built around it. So where have all the open roads gone to and when did they leave?

There is even a 'subdivision' and a new elementary school being built right next to my land on the one side that is not protected by its 'historical designation' and already we have traffic and the thing ain't even broke ground yet!

Time to move on over the next hill ...

And I Quote

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.

~ Albert Einstein

Saturday, August 18, 2007

P-hew

Thanks folks, and I hope we passed the audition.

Whew, do you how many bad actors there are out there? I do, I saw them all today at the cattle call for new performers at the Renaissance Faire! Save me from bad actors!

No really the auditions went smoothly (despite the bad acting), and we had some we selected to join the cast ... they don't know it yet - we got to make them sweat it out for a few days.

Now if the 'army' working on my new doublet will get it finished in time I will be a 'happy camper' indeed.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Sorry I missed yesterday.

I missed posting anything at all yesterday, bummer. I do have a good reason, though.
I spent much of the day seeing it that a severely mentally ill person was committed to the lock-down ward of the asylum near where they are living.
This person was dangerous to everybody but especially females and having someone committed takes a lot of work even just to hold them until their permanent commitment is finalized.
The judge had no problem with this one however and stripped them of their rights in the preliminary hearing.
Now I can concentrate on more pleasant matters.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

And I Quote

The love you take is equal to the love you make.

~ Sir Paul McCartney

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Night Funny

There was a lady swimmer quite nude
who's clothes by winds where strewed
saw a man come along
and unless I am wrong
you expected this line to be lewd!

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Oil Locations

Night Funny

On the subject of Golf:

Although it was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

~ Dave Berry

World Up Close And Personal

Having started life when horses still pulled wagons into town for the farmer's market and airplanes still had propellers, I find the ability to 'chat' with people from around the world via the internet wonderful.

Just a few moments ago I was chatting with a young man in Maryland, USA and a young man in New Zealand at the same time ... that wasn't even dreamed of when I was a child - it was prohibitively expensive by phone and three-way calling was "not thought of" yet (it had always been around from the beginning ... every one knew 'Ethel' stayed on the line after she connected you to your party, but as a 'wanted' feature it wasn't even in the works then), and the only other means of doing so was by short-wave radio - a hit and miss proposition at the best of times.

Now though I can chat and have chatted with people from all over the planet. It is amazing how many people know some English. It also helps that I speak several other languages as well.

I can learn so much more now and that is vital to my makeup - always learning more. It is a shame some others can not do the same.

If you want to learn more use the internet for more than downloading porn.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Cartoons

I have been asked if I had a site where I posted all the cartoons and editorials I have collected and I have had to answer no, that is until now.
I have just set up a Blog just for those cartoons and editorials ... literally.
You can find it at nakedcartoons.blogspot.com.
At the moment it is blank save for the format layout, but I will be adding to it as I am able - I have a ton of cartoons and editorials and there are always more coming out everyday.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Wapture


Be sure to check out Naked Cartoons for more editorials!

August in the Carolinas

They say you know it is August in North Carolina when you remember asphalt has a liquid state.

Today we topped 105F and I don't care who you are that's bloody hot!

It was better just to put yours clothes on right out of the shower while you were still wet today ... it just saved time and you'd be used to the damp and clingy things by the time you went out the door instead of the shock of them instantly getting wet and clingy as you opened the door.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

And I Quote

The more honesty a man has, the less he affects the air of a saint.

~ Lavater


In other words an Honest man has no need of putting on a 'pretty face'. And there are a whole lot of 'pretty faces' out there.

Editorial

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

First Idiot

Well, folks the first idiot posted the first stupid comment on this Blog today. He followed the rules and left his screen name so I am publishing it here as well as on the 'comments' section of the FREE SPEECH post he commented on for all to see his stupidity.

anti-gag said ...

You should not be allowed to say these things.

Freedom of Speech is one thing, but Political Correct must come first.

Where would we be if everyone was allowed to say what they liked?
*****

Oh, where do I begin?!

Point by point I guess!

Point one: I should be allowed to say these things, in fact I am allowed to say these things. There's that pesky little thing called the Constitution of the United States of America that says so. I have bled for that allowance and yours was well, have you?

Point two: Freedom of Speech is the only thing. Political Correct is hogwash. You don't like the music - change the channel, it really is that simple ... but you cannot turn off the channel because someone else may like the music and you cannot abridge their enjoyment of it.

Point three: Well, I would be in the good ol' USA as it was and is supposed to be as would every other person expressing themselves. Now as for you well ... who knows where you'd be.
*****

There you have it folks, a prime example of an idiot and his stupidity. Trying to censor others yet allowing himself unfettered reign. It won't work here. As you can see I will expose stupidity and idiocy when it shows itself so be warned.
By the same token I will summarily delete any stupidity or idiocy from any without the hutzpah to leave at least their screen name as I did to a really stupid comment left anonymously on the sister Blog to this Blog the other day.

Free Speach

It's Bloody Hot


It is bloody hot outside right now, I don't even want to know how hot - it was 99F just an hour ago. The weather people are saying today was the "cool" day for the rest of the week. "Cool" my ass, triple digit high temperatures have never been fun, because if it was 99F an hour ago as the sun was going down and the temperature was going down - how hot was it at 3pm when the sun was at its height in the sky?

These are the days we are praying for January!

And I Quote

No amount of troops and no amount of time will make a difference in Iraq.

~ Admiral Michael Mullen
(The shrub's nominee for Chairman of the Joint Chiefs.)

When your own "man" tells you the same thing the rest of the world is telling you, you just might want to listen ... especially if that man is the head of your military.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Troglodyte Returns

One of the troglodytes on another forum has slithered from beneath its rock after a few weeks away and has picked up right where it left off.

How is it that some are just so flat-out stupid?

More importantly ... why do we allow them to procreate?

I mean ignorance is one thing and can be taught so that it is not ignorant.
Willful stupidity is a cause for severe bodily pain or it should be.

And this troll says it wants to teach children!

Be afraid, be very afraid!

More Headlines

Egyptologists Discover Cure For Egypt!
*****

Casting Director Casts Self.
*****

Conservationists Warn Of Dwindling Ham Population In Black Forest!
*****

63% Of U.S. Implicated In New Scandal.
*****

Corporate-Welfare Recipients: Are They Eating Steak And Driving Cadillacs?
*****

Pudding Factory Disaster Brings Slow Creamy Death To Town Below!
*****

Imaginary Brain Tumor Spreading Rapidly!
*****

Heroic Man Rushes Into Movie Theater, Saves Four Seats!
*****

For details on these Headlines and more go to The Onion and read all about them.

Missing Weapons In Iraq

HEADLINES

*****
Thirty percent of all the weapons we have given to Iraq are missing! That's 190,000 AK-47 assault weapons and 90,000 pistols, people.
*****
Congressional Democrats quietly accomplishing campaign promises.
*****


Check out this Report for details on these headlines and more.

Stupid Comments

Just a reminder.

Stupid comments by readers of this Blog WILL be published to expose their stupidity to the world.

However, stupid comments from those without the cajones to leave even their screen name will be 86'd.

This reminder was prompted by the first really stupid comment this Bog (actually her sister Blog), has received to date, but the commenter did not have the hutzpah to leave their screen name ... on a technical point it should be their real name, but allowances for the internet will be made on this point ... so it was deleted out of hand.

Turnabout Is Fair Play

Turnabout is fair play, I was always taught and the scene depicted above would be 'fair play' for Vick ... being treated as he treated.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Poem

ZEN

The poetry of Zen
is answered with in.
Flowers bloom from the decay
brightening any spring day.
Answers long sought
come without a thought.
Birds sing in the sky
lifting the spirit high.
Reborn unto the Dream.
Bathed in the Light's beam.
Alive to live again
so far away from the pain.
Yesterday has gone away
leaving only this first day.

*****

(Another selection from my book Through Different Eyes)

Fortune Cookie Say ...

Fortune Cookie say ...

"Your charming smile is attracting everyone around you."

Cool, now I can finally say I have a 'butt-load of friends' because everyone is attracted to my smile!

And I Quote

In a vain man, the smallest spark may kindle into the greatest flame, because the materials are always prepared for it.

~ Homer

1001 Uses For Duct Tape

From the 1001 uses for Duct Tape files
(None of which are actually Ductworks which it is absolutely no good for.)
Number 387Taping your tits down so they won't 'pop up and out' of that low cut black dress you're wearing to the club tonight!

Overlooked Brilliant Ideas

Paradise Revealed

Utility is having one phone.
Luxury is having two phones.
Paradise is having no phones!

Wild Women Redeaux

The Mrs., came back early yesterday and was the spoiler for Mac Duff's plans for a wild hedonistic weekend. He was out of his mind with joy though ... his favorite left breast was back and he spent the entire afternoon and evening laying on it. Daddy's crook of the arm just wasn't cutting it for him any more.

So it ended up just me and the Labs heading to the river to 'hoot and hollar' at all the women there like idiots ... with momma and Mac Duff in tow. We found a spot under the trees and settled in whereupon I promptly fell asleep and the dogs went in the river and played with several young ladies there or at least the Mrs., said they did, I was snoring.

It was bloody hot and humid in the sun but under the trees when the breeze picked up it was cool enough. A couple of our neighbors had come down as well as I slept and I woke to see Seamus, Angus and their dogs (Labs too), Lady and Raven staring at me wanting me up and playing with them. Have you ever been 'attacked' by four soaking wet Labs wanting to play ... it is an experience, I tell you. So off the the water we went, Mac Duff trailing behind us during one of the brief moments he wasn't glued to his momma's left breast.

All in all it was a fun afternoon.

Forum Down?

Checking in with the forums I keep up with it seems that Clothes Free is down for some reason. It seems to be down a lot lately.

Over at the leather forum (for toolers not fetishists) things are hopping as they idea of using leather to act as a spring is being discussed right now.

Naturist Family is going strong and so is Cyndiann's forum.

All the gardening forums are humming along as are the dog forums.

Not to mention the political and news forums.

But the really busy ones right now is the ones dealing with the Renaissance Faires.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

And I Quote

All that glitters is not gold.
Gilded tombs do worms enfold.

~ William Shakespeare

Dateline: Oakland, California


Associated Press reports:

Seven members of Yusef Bey's Oakland Black Muslims cult were arrested on homicide charges in the murder of local newspaper editor Chauncey Bailey, along with other charges, when police raided the "Your Black Muslim #1 Bakery" the cult's 'front'.

The raid was part of a yearlong investigation of several other violent crimes including two other homicides, a kidnapping, and a torture case.

Among those arrested were Yusef Bey's son, Yusef Bey IV.

A spokesman for the group, one Shamir Yuself Bey, says, "This is not a reflection on Dr. Yusef Bey".
Yeah, and I am the tooth fairy!
How can anyone not brainwashed into a cult say something as patently stupid as that and expect the rest of us not to laugh in their face. And another point, if it is not a cult as they claim then why do all 'members' adopt the surname 'Yusef Bey' - one of the classic signs of a cult?

Foot and Mouth

Foot and Mouth disease has been detected in England again and farmers there wait in fear as scientists search for the source of the disease this time as the European Union has already banned imports of British livestock because of the disease being detected.

The British government is reacting quickly to the disease's detection this time with the shadow of the 2001 outbreak and epidemic that saw the slaughter of 7 million of Britain's livestock which all but destroyed the farmers of England then and worldwide criticism they reacted too slow and allowed the disease to spread like wildfire unchecked.

Being a 'new' farmer (I was raised on family farms but as I retired I started my own), I feel for the Brits as Foot and Mouth (aka: Hoof and Mouth), is no laughing matter.

And I Quote

We make ourselves rich by making our wants few.

~ Henry David Thoreau

Friday, August 3, 2007

Night Funny

Be sure to check in on the 'Minister of Rants' over at Revart

Dumber

Just when you thought Bill O' Reilly couldn't be or look any dumber ... bingo, he proves you wrong.

Happened to have caught the YouTube video of Chris Dodd handing the Billster his hat, coat and shoes and sending out the door on the "Factor" the Falafel King's own spew-show on the FauxNews network.

Dodd may be the 'darkhorse of the darkhorses' for the presidential nominee among the Democrats but he does articulate well and that frustrated the stammering baffoon (or is that baboon ... no that'd be an insult to the baboon), to no end.

Slide on over the YouTube and check it out.

Wild Women

The Mrs., is going to be out of state for the weekend so I asked Mac Duff if he knew any "wild women" we could call for a weekend long party because it was just us 'bachelors' for three days.
He just gave me a dumb look that said "I dunno" and licked my hand, which was surprising given that he is such a lover with the ladies.
So, I guess it's old movies or a good book with Mac Duff curled up under my arm since his 'mommy' won't be here for him to curl up on her left breast like he likes to do.

Of course we could always get on down to the river and jump in with Seamus and Angus and the four of us 'single guys' hoot and hollar at the girls on the water like idiots ... as quite a few do around here ... never heard the line "Show us your tits" so much , even at Bike rallys, than I do when I go down to the river.

Yep, the dogs and I are going to have a Mrs., free weekend.
Things could be interesting.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

57 Corvette

Just bought a Canary Yellow with White inlays 1957 Corvette to go along with my Cherry Red and Pearl Green with White inlays and Silver with Red inlays 1957 Corvettes! Only cost me $19 for it to boot!

Too bad it's only 1/26th scale die cast model like the rest of them dagburnit!

I collect cars ... yes the real ones too ... and I love finding a good bargain on either the real McCoy or a die cast scale model - trouble is I have had to build places to put them on a regular basis ... a shelf or cabinet is one thing but a garage is another undertaking all together ... right now it's a shelf or a cabinet, tomorrow ...

Gas From Bacteria


Gas from Bacteria?!

A new company LS9 out of San Carlos, California in pioneering the use of bacteria to produce the hydrocarbons to replace petroleum derived hydrocarbons we are so dependent upon in our society.

While this is nothing new to the bacteria ... they've been producing hydrocarbons for hundreds of millions of years ... it is the aim of the company to stimulate the varying types of bacteria to produce increased quantities and presumably higher quality hydrocarbons which we could then use in lieu of gasoline.

Don't think they have thought of the Greenhouse Gases being released so much as they have the possibilities of a truly unlimited resource of fuel ... unlimited as long as there are bacteria that is.

The other question I have is how are they planning to 'contain' the mutated bacteria they produce because some of the good ol'garden variety bacteria ain't too healthful to start with.

Read about this further at TechnologyReview.com

Warning Labels

There are those who are continually attempting to ban, forbid or censor what others read or at the very least segregate and place warning labels on the material so that only "Adults" can read them. The one piece of work they never want to see labeled is the one in most need of such 'labeling'. Click on the picture to enlarge it and see what the label should say that should be on this work of fiction.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

H2O to the rescue!

With the discovery of a large underground lake in the Darfur region of Sudan, water may be the solution to the conflict in that arid region.

Boston University researchers say with the Sudanese government's permission (which has been given), 1000 wells will be dug in the region.

Read the entire story on the BBC.

One Month Old

Well, this Blog has made it to its first months birthday unscathed.
Now to skip along our merry way, come what may
with
more humor, more news, more stories, quotes, views and maybe a kernel of wisdom or two.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Latest Roper Poll


The latest
Roper Poll
shows a surprising number
of Americans (at least surprising to the Prunella Prudes and Pearcy Prigsniffs out there), are O.K., with nude recreation ... 80% of them are.

51 million have been skinny-dipping in mixed gender groups. More have been skinny-dipping in single gender groups.

Research shows 4 in 10 households in America are 'nude' households were nudity is not thought of one way or the other whether one was nude or not with 70% of those being 'nudist/naturist' households were being clothed is the oddity.

So, much for Prunella and Pearcy and their Dramatica hysterium. Their fantasy world is just that a fantasy world where all are as screwed up as they are.

Reality is a bitch sometimes Prunella and Pearcy.

Go ahead be naked it won't hurt you and it just might help you.

And I Quote

Not all Greek runners in the first Olympics were totally naked.
Some wore shoes!

~ Mark Twain

Poem

Portraits In Lavender

Tall stand the Mighty Trees
n'er bending to the Howling Winds
over the Far Horizon's Seas
where the World begins and ends.

Echoes amid the Stones there
sound the final Throes of Man.
Lest the Tempest regain beware
castles upon Shore's shifting sand.

Down on broken bended knees
faithless to the Rills and Fens
pleading for the end, the final Peace
the Survivor knows Destiny wins.

Seen through Portraits in lavender,
Lost Lore and the Magic of Man
burst brilliantly before him there
eyes blinded to the Outreached Hand.

Confused By Something

I was reading another forum and one new poster posted their perplexing and mystical internal debate as to why ...

Whereas, there is a society called the "Barefoot Society", and as the name implies its members go about their daily lives unshod but otherwise fully clothed; yet there is a society called the "Naturist Society", in which its members go about their daily lives sans raiment, shod in varying types of 'footwear', but are otherwise nude.

From a philosophical perspective it is a good question ... one worth further debate and development.

From a practical standpoint it is quite logical why someone who is nude may opt for some type of footwear ... The places available for them to be nude outdoors are limited and usually in hard to reach places and over less than congenial ground surfaces at times as well. The feet be delicate and stuff.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Sister Blog

Be sure to check out my sister Blog:

The Naked, The Nude and The Nekkid

for new and views that have a bite.


This is a NC-17 or older Blog.

Night Funny

P.F. Chang's

The Mrs., and I had lunch at the new Chinese bistro today. Nice building and decent atmosphere, crappy menu selection though the hot teas were pleasant.

We both ended up ordering "Crispy Honey Chicken" ... by chance mind you ... the only item that did not have onions in or on it - I am in a hate/hate relationship with onions ... they hate me and I hate them so I always read the bill of fare and discount any items listing onions out of hand - several items had onions listed most did not, which can be deadly to those with allergies to onions.

It is the mark of a horrible cook to use onions of any kind in any dish at any time - strictly low-brow and peasant - even if one does not have allergies to them

The hot tea selection while extremely limited was pleasant enough and I had the "White Tangerine" with my meal and it complimented the entree nicely.

Jump Into It


Jump into it!

Whatever your desire is, jump into it.

Nothing is worth doing halfway.

This is not to say to throw caution to the wind or to do something harmful to yourself or others - don't be stupid about it.

Just jump into what you feel will improve you, be it school, art, theater, science, hobbies, gardening, etc.

Like Blogging!

Sunshine and Thunder

Bright sun shinning and loud thunder sounding!

Like John Fogerty asked many years ago "Have you ever seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?", I ask the same thing as I watch a thunderstorm drop torrents on my lawn in front of my house while I sit in the warm sunshine on the back porch.

This happens daily to thousands of people (there has to be an edge to the storm somewhere you know), yet it is one of those things nobody says they have witnessed first hand and express disbelief when others say the have seen it.

I have witnessed this "phenomena" (as I recount them in my head), eleven times so far in my life, from a drizzle to a deluge.

The one time that stands out in memory the most is the time I was 15 and visiting my grandparents and literally stood by the house and the left side of my body was soaked from the rain coming down and the right side was dry in the sunshine (well, sweaty ... it was better than 90F in the sun that day - the rain side felt 20 degrees cooler though).

So, how many of you have seen the rain coming down on a sunny day?

(Of course John was alluding to bombs dropped from airplanes during the Vietnam War in the lyrics to "Have you ever seen the rain ..." and "Who'll stop the rain ...", but that's beside the point.)

The Amazing Maize Maze

From August 25th to October 21st Historic Rural Hill Farm will be hosting the Amazing Maize Maze. Come and get lost wandering through a cornfield ... and no you can't walk through the rows - there aren't any.

This year the corn has been planted to be in the shape of the Liberty Bell which should make it easier than last time when it was planted to be in the shape of a cannon. Still it can be an all day experience.

Check out Historic Rural Hill to learn more about the Amazing Maize Maze and Scots heritage in the Carolinas.

It took me and the youngest grandkids 3 hours to navigate the cannon, by the way.

Morning Funny

Barely, but it is still 'morning' anytime before noon.

Sex is like Snow
... you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it will last!

(One of the Mrs., favorite tee-shirts)

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Musings Today

Musings this morning:

What has the price of tea in China really have to do with anything anyway?

Should I plow the south forty or let it remain "wild"?

How will history view the events in the world today?

Why is it the phone rings every time just as you sit to sh*t or step under the shower and get wet?
(Why is always a telemarketer as well?)

Where have all the good times gone? No, really where have they gone?

When are the new crop of 'taters' going to come in?

Would Alfalfa or Winter Wheat be better to plant for winter feed?

Do Seamus and Angus really have to love the mud bog that much?

Does the fact I am nude 99.9% of the time help keep me physically and mentally well?

Well - is a deep subject!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Confused Says ...

He who stands naked by fire ...
has hot dog and warm buns!

Confederate Valor

Old Corn

His managing supervisor called the Pepsi delivery driver into the office and told him he was being let go because he failed his random drug screening ... they had found Coke in his system.

Leisure And Retirement


Early morning around the farm is a busy time as you can imagine. But a pause for a 'casual' portrait is always important. This shot between the barn and the workshop reminds me I have some wood I need to clear out ... damn more work.

I am busier now than when I was 'working' for a living. Don't ever believe for one second retirement is a time of leisure!

Morning Funny

Real Life can be hilarious!

Our granddaughter 'G' can be a whiner about ailments and afflictions such as a hangnail or a unknown source bruise, so much so that her brother 'J' told her if she looked in the dictionary at the word "hypochondriac" she would see her picture beside it.

She went and got the dictionary and spent two hours looking for her picture.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Snippets

Another in the series of conversation snippets from my grandkids, particularly my youngest granddaughter.

*****

The Mrs., called and spoke with our granddaughter the other day and it went like this ...

Mrs., "Hi, 'G' what you doing?"
'G',"I can't talk long grand-mommy my parents are really angry with me."
Mrs., "Why are they angry with you 'G'?"
'G', "I don't know grand-mommy."
Mrs., "Think hard, 'G'."
'G', "Well, I have not cleaned up my room today."
Mrs., "Have you known about cleaning up your room all day?"
'G', "No, not all day, just since I got woke up this morning."

(O.K., technically she is right the day begins at midnight and she woke up at 6am.
But her mom and dad weren't too interested in technicalities.)

*****

Another phone conversation between the Mrs., and 'G'.

'G' "Grand-mommy my Daddy thinks I have an attitude today."
Mrs., "Well, 'G' do you have an attitude today?"
'G', "No, grand-mommy, I don't know what his problem is!"

*****
And she is just seven years old. What wonders and stumpers will she come up with next?

Made It At The Wire

I had vowed to make at least one post a day on this blog and I just made it today with this post.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Daily Funny

Any Sanity Left


If there is any sanity left in the United States this is your next president.

John Edwards is the only candidate that stands for the core values of the majority of Americans running from either of the two major parties. He is not the darling of corporate interests as are most of the other candidates in fact corporations tend to loath him.

He is truly a center grounded person ... as are most people in America ... that can think on his own ... again like most of the American people.
He is well liked by people, notable and non-notable alike here and around the world.
He is respected by people here and abroad.
He is a religious man who does not try and shove 'his' religion down your throat and respects differences.
He helps any that need and holds feet to the fire of those that need it as well.
In short he is a real man ... a Southern Man, to boot!

He is a maverick as well ( just as Kucinich and Paul are, only less boisterous about it), that is something this nation sorely needs right now after the nightmare of the cabal and rampant crony-ism run amok we have suffered the past 6 plus years.

Someone to stand up and say and do what truly needs saying and doing is what we have to have and if you watched the last debate or have seen the polls after you'll know Edwards does just that and he is viewed as the clear winner of that debate even with the neo-con/republican spin machine trying to convince everyone that Clinton was the winner and the de facto nominee thinking they could win if a woman was the Democratic nominee.

They're scared of Edwards, which means they are scared of the American people ... as well they should be.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Castrate Reduex

Well the Mrs., wasn't going to use the butcher knife she was going to use a pair of pliers and twist off his gonads.

Mac Duff was chewing on an antique quilt because she stopped scratching his chest ... spoiled brat.

He knew his ass was grass when she said it because he tucked in tight and flew toward the corner where his bed was as I was entering the room only to turn to come to me and cold-cocked himself on the table leg by his bed.

Don't know what he was thinking ... it was a quilt my grandmother had made ... that I would protect his jewels?!

He still has a dumb look on his face and every so often he shakes his head like there are still a few cobwebs in there from the table leg meeting he had ... serves him right, it does.

Castrate

Just heard the Mrs., tell Mac Duff she was going to castrate him.
I wonder what he has gotten himself into this time?!

Let me check it out and get back to you.

A Blog A Day

A Blog a day keeps the Doctor away. Having been one of those 'Doctors' I can say writing this Blog and her sister Blog is stress releasing (more so the sister Blog where more 'weighter' subject matter is opined upon).

The pause and reflection on events and instances to write about is nice as is the frantic and impulsive musing on ethereal and temporal things of import ... O.K., not so important at times. But it is all good!

Keep ON Blogging!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Look we're 'Simpsons'.






Look we're 'Simpsons'!
The Mrs., and I as our alter egos!

Hillbilly White Trash

Just read a huge load of offal by an idiot calling himself Lemuel Calhoun on his blog entitled "Hillbilly White Trash".

The blog title says it all, it was a putrid morass of inarticulate ravings and lunatic ramblings of a homicidal inbred waste of carbon.

Wonder why it is the most indecent, perverted unintelligent ones all loudly proclaim to be the decent, non-perverse, intelligent ones? Remember the "immoral minority" who called themselves the 'moral majority' ... over compensating they were and this cockjolly is definitely "compensating".
Expressing his desire to throw all Liberals on a bonfire and then sit down to an evening of wine and music without a care.

He strikes me as a very tiny man (definitely mentally and likely physically), suffering from 'Little Man Syndrome' with 'Little Dick Syndrome' complications.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Good Old Days


Remember the good old days when you drove up to the pump and three guys came out to you and one pumped your gas, one washed your windshield and checked your tire's air pressure while the other one checked your oil and radiator water level, all for 35 cents a gallon.

Life is Blonde

Did you here about the young blonde you didn't change her baby's diaper for three weeks because the box said up to 15 pounds.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Night Funny

Everybody has one ... the busy-body mother-in-law.

Well a young bride had hers and her new husbands mother would drop in at any time and try to run her household. One day as usual the mother -in-law shows up and lets herself in.
However she stops as soon as she opens the door for there was her daughter-in-law standing just inside wearing a smile and nothing else.
A smile that quickly turned to a frown as she saw it was 'Mom'.
As she saw her daughter-in-law the old woman said, "What are you doing?!"
The which her daughter-in-law replied, "I am waiting for my husband ... YOUR son to come home.
"But, You're naked!", 'Mom' gasped.
"This is me 'Love Dress'", replied the young woman, "and my husband likes my love dress and it makes him happy to see me in it, which makes me happy."
Continuing she said, "In fact he is due any moment and I would like it if you were not here when he gets here."
Well, 'Mom' leaves in a huff, stewing about being sent away.
She gets home and stews about the encounter with her daughter-in-law for a few days and thinks about that 'love dress' more and more until she feels a bit horny herself and vows to do the same thing the next day when her husband came home from work.
So, the next day she stood just inside the front door nude and when her husband opened the door and saw her he said, "Why are you naked?'
To which she replied, "This is my love dress!"
With a raised eyebrow he said, "Needs ironing."

No Nonsense Judge

I wrote on the Vick thing on my sister Blog because the language I used was inappropriate for the delicate of nature that read this Blog.

But the announcement that Micheal Vick and his co-indictees will face U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson for their court proceedings makes it possible to write here and not have to redact every word or at least every other word! Hudson is known for being a fair judge and hearing all sides in a case. He is also known for taking no guff from anyone in the courtroom and for handling cases swiftly. More importantly here he is known for imposing the hardest penalties he is allowed to upon any convicted of the charges against them when facing him ... which means here ... 6 years in federal prison (there is no parole in the federal system), and the 350K fine for each defendant.

That is too soft, way too soft, they should be rubbed down with liver pate and put in the pit with the dogs ... then see if they can elude the dogs, especially Vick who's supposed elusiveness and speed are extra ordinary ... pun intended.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Band Reunited

Just got off the phone with someone I haven't spoken to in 40 years. Damn, that's a long time! Mitchell and I were two of the best guitars players ever (or at least we thought so at the time) and our high school band ... not the marching kind, either ... was pretty darn good. We played the standard covers of the day as well as our own stuff, more so our own stuff which around here was something as every other band I can remember was strictly a cover band.

The music scene was up and coming over the horizon though and a few younger bands made it nationally and internationally in the years after our band parted for various endeavors. I went into the Corps and then to college until I received my PhDs (yes the 's' is correct); Mitchell went into the business world working for his father; Jason went straight to college and died of a drug overdose his freshman year; Susan got married to Eric and both are now grandparents as well.

The trip down nostalgia lane took six hours ... we had a lot to catch up on. But it boiled down to him wanting to get the band together to play for the next class reunion. I am not sold on the idea just yet, but I like the idea ... show those young whipper-snappers we 'fossils' can kick out the jams. Trouble is I haven't picked up any of my guitars in going on 19 years, as a matter of fact I sold all of them but one and my brother has it at the moment. Also without Jason we don't have a keyboard player, well we do but not like him. Susan and Eric want to, so I might as well do it too.

It would be good to hear the shout "Monarch Rules!" again as we knock their socks off.

Now if somebody will get me my Geritol!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Lavender and Chamomile

Lavender and chamomile are truly two relaxing scents. I placed a bottle of both oils combined by my computer and along with my various teas, I have a quite and calm place to read the news and check in on the world. I would say to anyone, 'try the scents of lavender and chamomile' and you can feel the stresses melting away. As for your choice of tea I leave that you.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Night Funny

Sign explaining the mechanics of sex at a Math Geek's Convention reads:

1d plus 1c equals 1B
or
d+c=B

Real Age

I took one of those online 'test' yesterday ... yeah I know, but it was fun.
This one took your chronological age and calculated your "Real Age" using health and lifestyle as a means of analysis.
Using a whole lot of different aspects of my health and lifestyle it said while my 'calendar' age is 56.6 years my "real" age is 38.3 years.
Wow, damn near twenty years younger! I can live with that.

You know there might be something to that old adage "You're only as young as you feel" after all?!

Nordmannen Omgangssprak

Motte en fyren naturlig pa sykehuslege dags dato.
Vi var snakker om mange ting og komme til fine ut han har nert det identisk utdanning pedagogisk miljoet.
Idet det ma du gjerne ha gjettet han er Norsk siden JEG bruker nordmannen omgangssprak i denne stolpe.
Det er virkelig forbloffende det to mannskap fra to annerledes land ha faktisk det interesserer og oppdrasselse.

Glede seg over snakker med du dags dato, Arie.

(English Translation for non-Nordmann sprakerer, with apologies for the lacking grammer in the post above)

Met a fellow naturist on the internet today.
We were chatting about many things and come to find out he has almost the identical educational background.
As you may have guessed he is Norwegian since I am using the Norwegian language in this post.
It is truly amazing that two men from two different countries have virtually the same interests and education.

Enjoyed chatting with you today, Arial.

The Gathering

The first Gathering of the Clans to be held in Scotland since the Battle at Culloden in 1748 will be on the weekend of July 25 - 26, 2009. Be there.
Make your plans to be in Edinburgh, Scotland as the Tartan banners fly in the wind for the first time en masse in over two hundred years.

When the Tartans flew the English quivered with fright
struck dumb with fear at the sight.
They trembled at the Flower of Alba's might
for the wrongs they would put to right!

To find out more details you can contact Lord Sempill, Director of the Gathering, at:

The Gathering 2009 Ltd.
27 Queen Charlotte Street
Edinburgh EH6 6AX, Scotland
Telephone: +44131-561-1323
Email: lucy-rose@thegathering2009.com or info@thegathering2009.com
Website: www.thegathering2009.com

See you there!
Suas Alba!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dental Cleaning

Spent some time in the Dentist's chair today getting the pearlies all to gleaming.
I forget how much I dislike the Dentist's office between visits.
No cavities ... that is good.
New dental hygienist even better.

Actually, she isn't 'new' to me as she is the daughter of a friend who paid her way through school to this point working as a stripper and is going to work at the Dentist's office and at her old job to pay for Dental School.
Always a feisty one she greeted me with a hug and a slap on the behind (slightly non-professional for the Dentist's office, but well within norms for her other job). We talked about her as a teenager ... at least until she went to work on my mouth then she did most of the talking ... and how she was amazed she made it through them. Tell you the truth so am I.

Now she is doing well for herself and even has a girlfriend and a boyfriend ... not bad for the girl they used to tease because she was a rail and had tons of hair - she literally looked like a mop. She lied about her age when she was sixteen and began stripping to prove to all she was a girl not a "mop". And she was quite the 'novelty' at it too until she turned twenty then she as if by magic went poof and there was a drop dead gorgeous hottie standing before your eyes where a second ago was the "mop".(and no drugs or surgery did the job it was good ol'Ma Nature, what worked her magic). She then was even more popular with the club crowd.

At twenty-two she is way ahead of her teasers who she hasn't seen since high school (she even avoided some of the "guys" dancing at the clubs which is odd considering how many of them I saw going into the one she worked at - I can only guess they didn't recognize her nude, which wouldn't surprise me as they only 'saw' her as a "mop" when she was clothed anyway).

She promised to bring her girlfriend and boyfriend over to see us and to swim in our pool - remember I know her - just like she did growing up. She said she wasn't going to tell them they had to swim nude, she was just going to strip and dive in then point to the "Nude Swimming Mandatory" sign and laugh.
Better get the grill fired up because they are coming to dinner tomorrow.

And I Quote

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

~ Albert Einstein

Rabbit Day

There are some pretty odd celebrations and holidays out there. Some are downright wacky. Some I don't have a clue as to what they are about, such as "Rabbit Day" (which is today). Just what is it and why is it celebrated?

I mean doesn't everyone love a cute little bunny everyday?!

Morning Funny