A 29-year-old Dublin man who stole what turned out to be priceless golden jewelery from a pharmacy in Co Roscommon has been given a three-year suspended prison sentence. Robert Dempsey of Earl Court, Rueben Street, Dublin, pleaded guilty to the burglary of Sheehan's Pharmacy, Strokestown, on 27 March 2009.
After breaking into the premises at 4am, Dempsey took an envelope from the safe, which included a lunula neck-piece and two gold discs believed to date from 2000 BC.
A second man, 35-year-old Anthony Dowling of Fortlawn Drive, Blanchardstown Drive, who pleaded guilty to possession of stolen goods, was given a two-year suspended prison sentence. Dowling had acted as a lookout at the front door of the pharmacy on the night of the robbery.
Detective Sergeant John Costello of Roscommon gardaí told the court the defendants had no idea of the value of the items within the envelope, but when gardaí informed them of their national significance, they fully assisted them in locating the artifacts.
When gardaí realized the artifacts had been placed in rubbish bins at the flats on Rueben Street, immediate protection was put on all skips on the street as they were due to be collected the following day.
All the rubbish was taken to Kilmainham Garda Station and the stolen artifacts were recovered. Sgt Costello told the court that Dempsey has since traveled to the National Museum to view the artifacts and that both men were full of remorse for what they had done.
Welcome to ...
The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Odds and Sods
Odds and Sods
In Cop News
As Shakespeare wrote, 'He that hath no beard is less than a man.' The Bard had a beard, so he was biased, but growing numbers seem to be on the same wavelength.
From Treehugger:
Image: Craig Simonox, Dominion Post and TVNZ
Nick Lowe, of Johnsonville, New Zealand, pulls on bike shorts and a t-shirt when he climbs on to pedal away through the city. But as soon as he hits the open road, a "change of clothes" is on the agenda. The t-shirt graces Lowe's handlebars. The bike shorts he carefully arranges on the saddle so that the chamois seat pad still performs as point of contact. "The majority of the public has no issues with it," Lowe told TV New Zealand.
But one person did take offense. And took Lowe to court. Lowe explains the philosophy behind his fight in a YouTube video. And we look at the verdict: does it mean a free-for-all for nudists in New Zealand?
Article continues: Kiwi Biker Wins Right to Bicycle Naked
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Daily Drift
The Daily Drift
Today's horoscope says:Those unforeseen obstacles are still on the menu.
But if you can successfully navigate your way through today (which might be tricky, especially if a dear one's jealousy or resentfulness rears its ugly little head) and tomorrow (when you'll be working while you'd much rather be playing), you'll be golden.
Oh, just grin and bear it.
Let the others be as cranky as they like.
You don't have to encourage them.
Some of our readers today have been in:
Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Rio De Janeiro, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Frankfurt, Hessen, Germany
Seoul, Kyonggi-Do, Korea
Chatswood, New South Wales, Australia
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, Netherlands
Zagreb, Grad Zagreb, Croatia
Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Bremen, Bremen, Germany
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Liverpool, England, United Kingdom
Lima, Lima, Peru
Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Como, Lombardia, Italy
Oldenburg, Niedersachsen, Germany
London, England, United Kingdom
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Hamburg, Hamburg, Germany
as well as Hong Kong, France, and the United States in such cities as Marshfield, Fishers, Castle Rock, Norwood, Hickory and more.
Today is Sunday, March 28, the 87th day of 2010.
There are 278 days left in the year.
Today's unusual holiday or celebrations is:
Weed Appreciation Day
Fabrique aux Etats-Unis a partir de materiaux provenant des Etats-Unis ou d'ailleurs
As The World Turns
As The World Turns
Sixteen foreign nationals -- 12 Afghan and four Burmese -- have fled from the KL International Airport immigration detention depot where they have been sheltered as victims of human trafficking, Director-General of Immigration Datuk Abdul Rahman Othman said on Sunday.
They're kidding, right?!
Belgium bills ex-husband of child killer for court costs
The father of five children murdered by their mother has been stuck with the bill for her trial and conviction. A Belgian court sentenced Genevieve Lhermitte to life in prison last year for killing her son and four daughters, aged three to 14, in 2007, while her then husband was on a trip to Morocco.
As Lhermitte is in jail and insolvent, the Belgian state has sought to recover court expenses and collect fines from Bouchaib Moqadem.
"I don't know what to say. I am disgusted and revolted that I, who was wrongly deprived of my children, am being asked to pay for the trial of my ex-wife, who was convicted of murdering my five children by cruelly slitting their throats," Mr Moqadem said.
The bill appears to conform with Belgian law, with the state seeking funds due to have been shared from the sale of their house under their divorce agreement.
However, Mr Moqadem's lawyer, in a letter to Finance Minister Didier Reynders, called for "administrative requirements to be balanced by decency" given the nature of the tragedy.
Teacher to go on trial for hitting pupil's thumb with Pritt Stick
An art teacher is accused of assaulting a special needs pupil with a tube of Pritt Stick, a court has heard. Lynda May, from Ty Segur in Neath, south Wales, has denied the charge of causing actual bodily harm and a lesser offence of common assault.
The court heard that the child, who cannot be named for legal reasons, has learning and emotional difficulties. May, 54, is accused of hitting the boy with the glue stick on September 14.
He is said to have sustained an injury to his thumb as a result of the alleged incident. Lisa McCarthy, prosecuting, said of the allegations: "The injuries are moderately minor."
May elected for her case to be heard at Swansea Crown Court, where a three day trial will be held from May 17. Judge Huw Davies granted the teacher bail.
Parents can be cruel when naming their kids or they can be just plain stupid ... not sure which one the following is just yet?!
Russian child named BOCh RVF 26062002 refused birth certificate
Moscow authorities have refused to issue a birth certificate to a six-year-old boy, whose parents named him BOCh RVF 26062002.Registration officials refused to register the boy's name, which translates into a Russian acronym for Biological Human Object of the Voronin-Frolov Genus (DoB) June 6, 2002, to "protect the boy's own interests." The parents have insisted on registering the name.
"This case has been reviewed by several judicial agencies; however, the parents have been denied the right to register the child with that name," Tatyana Ushakova said. "This was done to protect the interests of the boy. His parents need to think about the boy and how he can live with a name like that and not think about their own ambitions."
Ushakova said that there is no legislation in Russia against giving children odd names. She also said that the parents referred their case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg; however, the complaint was turned down. In 2008, a number of other odd names were registered in Russia, including the English equivalent of North, Dolphin, Wind, and Moon. In 2005 the names Leaf Salad, Aviation Dispatcher, Russia, Privatization, Cool, Viagra and Simply a Hero were registered.
The State Of The Nation
The State Of The Nation
Girl, 2, shoots herself with gun at home
A 2-year-old Port Richey girl is in critical condition after accidentally shooting herself with a .380 caliber semi-automatic handgun, and the boyfriend of her mother is under arrest, according to investigators.McKenzie Smith was wounded at about 10:30 on Friday morning after finding a gun on the nightstand next to her mother's bed. Jessica Smith, 22, was home at the time. The owner of the weapon, 22-year old Ralph Ronzino, was at a nearby store.
Ronzino was arrested and charged with child neglect by culpable negligence. He is also charged with possession of marijuana. Both are 2nd degree felonies.
Pasco sheriff's spokesman Kevin Doll said Ronzino "left the handgun on the nightstand" after hearing a gun shot outside the house on Thursday night.
"It looks like the bullet went in through the abdomen and came out, a clean-through shot, they call it," Doll said.
Deputies said they confiscated two other handguns and an AK-47 from the home, which they say were also "easily accessible" to the child.
Man stabs meat in supermarket frenzy
A knife-wielding man was arrested earlier this week in what police called a meat massacre at a south-central Indiana supermarket. Several people called 911 on Wednesday morning to report a man with a knife in the Jay C Food Store. “We have a gentleman here cutting into the meat and throwing it onto the floor,” one caller said. "Got a man with a knife who's doing things,” another caller said.When officers arrived, they found meat scattered everywhere in what Edinburgh police called one of the most bizarre cases they had ever investigated. Police said Anthony Coffman, 28, used a hunting knife to cut through meat packages, throwing open containers of raw beef on the floor. He then poured dog food over some of the meat in hopes of contaminating it so it couldn’t be sold, Edinburgh police Deputy Chief David Lutz said.
Coffman told police that he is a vegetarian and gets upset when others consume beef, telling the employee that God sent him to ruin the meat and that he was trying to save little girls from food he believes would make them “chubby.” "He thought if he could save one chubby girl, he's done his job," Lutz said.
Employees tackled Coffman outside the store and held him until police arrived. Coffman was taken to a hospital for a mental evaluation. He faces charges of criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon, criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.
There's more on this page.
In Matters Of Health
In Matters Of Health
10 ways health care reform will affect you
In four years, you won't ever be denied coverage under the law signed by President Obama.
Also:
Lunatic Fringe
Lunatic Fringe
Repugicans: 'Don't blame us for what we caused'
Hi, boys and girls! As a public service, I've prepared the following statement for repugican leaders to use when some disgruntled opponent of health care reform injures somebody - or worse.
An OpEd piece:
She is a annoying buffoon with ZERO credibility. It is actually pathetic that some people don't have enough sense to recognize that fact.
Reminder: Repugicans Were For Obama's Health Insurance Rule Before They Were Against It
Repugicans were for President Barack Obama's requirement that Americans get health insurance before they were against it.
The obligation in the new health care law is a repugican idea that's been around at least two decades. It was once trumpeted as an alternative to Bill and Hillary Clinton's failed health care overhaul in the 1990s. These days, repugicans call it government overreach.
Mitt Romney, weighing another run for the repugican presidential nomination, signed such a requirement into law at the state level as Massachusetts governor in 2006.
The obligation in the new health care law is a repugican idea that's been around at least two decades. It was once trumpeted as an alternative to Bill and Hillary Clinton's failed health care overhaul in the 1990s. These days, repugicans call it government overreach.
Mitt Romney, weighing another run for the repugican presidential nomination, signed such a requirement into law at the state level as Massachusetts governor in 2006.
Liars and Fools
Eric Cantor (reptile-Virginia) is featured speaker on conference call from the S.T.O.P. Obama Tyranny National Coalition.
Perfect time - they'll all be in one place at the same time - the arrests will be easy
Referring, apparently, to cap and trade legislation, Faux's Glen Brick lies "It's 9/11 all over again except we didn't have the collapsing buildings".
Someone get him back on his Meds.
Fat blowhard Lush Dimbulb lies shouting health care reform a "death threat against the country".
Just leave asshole ... you promised you would - but then when has your word ever been good?!
Newt Gingrich (retard-Georgia), responding to wingnut threats of violence against Democrats, says "the Democratic leadership has to take some moral responsibility for having behaved with such arrogance, in such a hostile way, that the American people are deeply upset".
Hey, Newt we ain't upset, deeply or otherwise by the way the Democrats have behaved. repugicans, now ...
Devin Nunes (reject-California) compares Pelosi to Saddam Hussein and Robert Mugabe.
An idiot looking into the mirror again
Little boy lover Lush Dimbulb lies shouting beating the Democrats is "the only hope the country has".
Again, Leave! The NAZIS failed in Germany and they failed here get over it.
Sarah Palin (reptile-Alaska) publishes, and commits treason (yet again), a "reload" map with crosshairs targeted at House Democrats.
Put her behind bars where she belongs!
Michele Bachmann (retard-Minnesota) calls President Obama "Anti-American"... again.
This bitch is so batshit crazy she makes Glen Brick look sane!
No violence on the wingnutt's part, oh no
Letters, they get letters ... Threatening letters, that is!From: The AP
U.S. Representative Vic Snyder of Arkansas says a letter saying he's a target for assassination was intercepted by U.S. Capitol police.
Snyder says he was told about the letter Tuesday by capitol police. it was postmarked in a western state - not Arkansas - and misspelled his name as "Vic Synder."
Nice misspelling, baggers!Snyder says he was told about the letter Tuesday by capitol police. it was postmarked in a western state - not Arkansas - and misspelled his name as "Vic Synder."
Snyder read from a copy of the original saying: "It is apparent that it will take a few assassinations to stop Obamacare. Militia central has selected you for assassination. If we cannot stalk and find you in Washington, D.C., we will get you in Little Rock."At least 10 members of congress have reported similar threats.
If it weren't so serious, we'd make a "Return to Synder" joke right about here.
Interesting In General
Interesting In General
Oxymoron, paradox, or contradiction?
The words have similar meanings, so it's helpful to know their subtle differences.
Also:
How to prevent your next breakdown
Many tire problems result from one issue you can easily fix yourself.
Also:
That's our government for you!
Phony products trick fed energy program
A gasoline-powered alarm clock is among 15 nonexistent items labeled "energy efficient."
Also:
Saturday, March 27, 2010
The Daily Drift
The Daily Drift
Today's horoscope says:It's fine astrological weather to be you, but maybe not so much fun for your less flexible friends.
So while you're totally loving the fact that the last thing on earth you'd ever expect is what's about to happen, they're looking worried -- and not at all happy about it.
Sit them down, chat them up about the virtues of change and talk them into letting go and allowing the universe drive.
Some of our readers today have been in:
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Merignac, Aquitaine, France
Santander, Cantabria, Spain
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Middlebrough, England, United Kingdom
Warsaw, Mazowieckie, Poland
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia
Ipoh, Perak, Malaysia
Gouda, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Brussels, Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest, Belgium
Chatswood, New South Wales, Australia
London, England, United Kingdom
Bremen, Bremen, Germany
Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia
Bhubaneshwar, Orissa, India
Mississauga, Ontario, Canada
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Medellin, Antioquia, Colombia
Athens, Attiki, Greece
Cairo, Al Qahirah, Egypt
Ausburg, Bayern, Germany
Bonn, Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany
Mugla, Mugla, Turkey
Forde, Sogn Og Fjordane, Norway
Zurich, Zurich, Switzerland
as well as Scotland, Brazil, Wales, Northern Ireland, and the United States in such cities as Brook Park, Puyallup, Ellettsville, Parkersburg, Grand Island, San Angelo, Pikeville and more
Today is Saturday, March 27, the 86th day of 2010.
There are 279 days left in the year.
Today's unusual holiday or celebration is:
Viagra Day
As The World Turns
As The World Turns
China censoring stories related to Google departure
They really are pathetic. There are even rules for addressing the story. Don't they realize how weak and ridiculous it makes them appear to the outside world?
These are the rules for news outlets - there are also other instructions for "interactive media", blogs and forums that involve careful monitoring and repression of discussion on the topic.
In addition, CDT also lists a series of extra rules.
Outlets are told "do not report about Google exerting pressure on our country via people or events" and that reporters and writers should not provide material that could be used by Google to attack Chinese government policy. A little ironic, then, that it is the government's own instructions on the subject that end up providing grist to the mill.
Whether you think Google's position is right or wrong, selfless or selfish, it's clear that it has irritated the government even more than has already been documented: the government in Beijing is doing its best to quash any signs of conflict.
£270m of treasure kept in derelict Spanish house
For a man with family treasures worth a fortune, Jaume Grau-Pla was somewhat cavalier about security. His 12th-century relics and jewels are worth hundreds of millions of pounds, a dazzling collection that others might have locked away or consigned to a bank vault complete with an expensive insurance policy.
Grau-Pla had an altogether more homespun solution: he stuck all the pieces in a derelict mansion in the Catalan interior and guessed that thieves would never suspect anything of any value was there. He guessed wrong.
It has emerged that treasures worth €300m (£270m) had been stolen from the country house. Fortunately for the wealthy aristocrat, most of the booty was recovered. Two of the three suspected thieves were arrested.
"I keep the house run-down on purpose as a way to camouflage the high-value collection I keep inside," Grau-Pla said. "Only those who had been inside the house knew what was kept there. Many of the things are invaluable. No amount of money could buy them."
Grau-Pla only realised that the collection had gone when he visited one weekend and found the glass cases empty.
Police who detained the thieves were themselves stunned by the tiaras, necklaces, rings and other jewellery that they discovered. They said they were happy to believe the aristocrat's own €300m valuation of the collection.
The State Of The Nation
The State Of The Nation
Efforts to keep the unique wetlands from dying have been credit crunched, says Jeff Hecht
A raid targeting illegal immigration led to the arrests of 21 Phoenix-area McDonald's workers Friday, and authorities were still seeking 30 other employees as part of their investigation.
And who else but McDonalds - the lowest paying of all - would have a bunch of illegals slaving (I mean working) for them.
Local Hospitality
Local Hospitality
One dead in KFC/Taco Bell parking lot on North Tryon street
"We didn't see anything or hear anything. It was really kind of silent," Michael Kahn said. He said a woman came into the restaurant yelling that someone had been shot in the head in the parking lot.
Police arrived to find one person dead in a vehicle. Another person in the vehicle was not hurt.
Officers caught up with the person they believe was the shooter just a block away, running from the scene. CMPD Captain Freda Lester said the incident may have involved a robbery.
The state's annual gang report released this week shows Mecklenburg County has 160 gangs, the most of any North Carolina county.
Click here to read the report.
The second-highest county was Wake, with 97 gangs.
According to the Associated Press, the report "reflects a fuller picture of gang activity by relying more on hard data from police and prison officials."
AP reports the Governor's Crime Commission gave its annual gang report to a legislative panel on Thursday.
The report shows there are nearly 13,700 confirmed gang members and their associates, compared to 10,050 in last year's report.
A search warrant application reveals that Winfred Scott Simpson told deputies "that his wife admitted to having an affair over the past six months."
Husband Of Missing Woman Arrested, Charged With Murder
Religious Quotes
I sacrifice to no god save myself ... And to my belly, greatest of deities.
~ Euripides
Within their rights my ass
- From the "Are they F'ing insane!" Department:
Court rules cops were in their rights to taser pregnant woman during traffic stop
OH, Hell No they weren't!
- Digby had this to say:
Three Seattle police officers were justified when they used a stun gun on a pregnant mother who refused to sign a traffic ticket, a federal appeals court ruled Friday in a case that prompted an incredulous dissent. Malaika Brooks was driving her son to Seattle's African American Academy in 2004 when she was stopped for doing 32 mph in a school zone. She insisted it was the car in front of her that was speeding, and refused to sign the ticket because she thought she'd be admitting guilt.It's hard to know what to say to something like that. It's always strange to me to think that police officers have a right to electrocute anyone who doesn't present a direct threat to their person, but this rationale is chilling:
Rather than give her the ticket and let her go on her way, the officers decided to arrest her. One reached in, turned off her car and dropped the keys on the floor. Brooks stiffened her arms against the steering wheel and told the officers she was pregnant, but refused to get out, even after they threatened to stun her.
The officers — Sgt. Steven Daman, Officer Juan Ornelas and Officer Donald Jones — then stunned her three times, in the thigh, shoulder and neck, and hauled her out of the car, laying her face-down in the street.
Brooks gave birth to a healthy baby two months later, but has permanent scars from the Taser. She sued the officers for violating her constitutional rights, and U.S. District Judge Richard Jones allowed the case to continue. He declined to grant the officers immunity for performing their official duties and said Brooks' rights were clearly violated.
But in a 2-1 ruling Friday, a panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals disagreed. Judges Cynthia Holcomb Hall and Diarmuid F. O'Scannlain held that the officers were justified in making an arrest because Brooks was obstructing them and resisting arrest.
The use of force was also justified because of the threat Brooks posed, Hall wrote: "It seems clear that Brooks was not going to be able to harm anyone with her car at a moment's notice. Nonetheless, some threat she might retrieve the keys and drive off erratically remained, particularly given her refusal to leave the car and her state of agitation."
They also noted that the force used wasn't that serious because the Taser was in "touch" mode rather than "dart" mode, which hurts more. They reversed the lower court's opinion and held that the officers were entitled to immunity from the lawsuit.
"Police officers have to have the ability to compel people to obey their lawful orders," Buck said. That's all the court recognized today. The 9th Circuit just applied the law instead of getting caught up in the otherwise unfortunate factual circumstances."Except it wasn't a lawful order, unless you define any order a police officer gives as being de facto lawful:
The majority's opinion outraged Judge Marsha Berzon, who called it "off the wall."Oh no, she needed to be electrocuted and arrested because there was a chance that she might drive off erratically. Or shape-shift into a lizard and levitate. You just can't be too careful. In any case, what these judges seem to be saying is that there is no lawful reason that an officer cannot taser a citizen as long as he is barking some order and they fail to comply quickly enough. No reason of any kind, not even the fact that the officers had no right to issue that order at all. That's scary.
"I fail utterly to comprehend how my colleagues are able to conclude that it was objectively reasonable to use any force against Brooks, let alone three activations of a Taser, in response to such a trivial offense," she wrote.
She argued that under Washington law, the officers had no authority to take Brooks into custody: Failure to sign a traffic infraction is not an arrestable offense, and it's not illegal to resist an unlawful arrest.
Berzon said the majority's notion that Brooks obstructed officers was so far-fetched that even the officers themselves didn't make that legal argument. To obstruct an officer, one must obstruct the officer's official duties, and the officers' only duties in this case were to detain Brooks long enough to identify her, check for warrants, write up the citation and give it to her. Brooks' failure to sign did not interfere with those duties, she said.
BTW: where are all the anti-authoritarian libertarians now? It seems as if they only care about the constitution when it comes to taxes and guns. Someone else's right not to be electrocuted for refusing to sign a traffic ticket? Not their problem.
Lunatic Fringe
Lunatic Fringe
Militiaman unapologetic for calls to vandalize offices over health care
The call to arms was issued at 5:55 a.m. last Friday."To all modern Sons of Liberty: THIS is your time. Break their windows. Break them NOW."
These were the words of Mike Vanderboegh, a 57-year-old militiaman from Alabama, who took to his blog urging people who opposed the historic health-care reform legislation -- he calls it "Nancy Pelosi's Intolerable Act" -- to throw bricks through the windows of Democratic offices nationwide.
You might be interested to know ... Vanderboegh said he once worked as a warehouse manager but now lives on government disability checks. He said he receives $1,300 a month because of his congestive heart failure, diabetes and hypertension.
In other words, he can have 'socialized healthcare' but you can't. Typical wingnut.
Teabaggers don't even like their own:
The Tea Party Express and other wingnut Nevada-based groups are telling self-proclaimed "Tea Party" candidate for the U.S. Senate, Scott Ashjian, to take a hike.
Lexophiles
1. A bicycle cannot stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. A calendar's days are numbered.
16. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
17. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
19. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end
20. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
21 If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
22. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
23. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
24. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
25. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
26. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
27.. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ..
28. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
29. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
30. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
31. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
32. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
33. A hole was found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
34. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
36. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
37. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
38. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
39. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
40. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
41. She was only a cattleman's daughter but all the horse men knew her
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
15. A calendar's days are numbered.
16. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
17. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
18. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
19. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end
20. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
21 If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
22. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
23. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
24. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
25. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
26. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
27.. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian ..
28. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
29. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
30. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
31. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
32. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
33. A hole was found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
34. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to
the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
36. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
37. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
38. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
39. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
40. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
41. She was only a cattleman's daughter but all the horse men knew her
In Matters Of Health
In Matters Of Health
Spot the secret stressors in your life
Your choice of alarm clock might be one hidden source of anxiety and stress.
Also:
Scientific Minds Want To Know
Scientific Minds Want To Know
It's The Economy Stupid
It's The Economy Stupid
Five tips for finding cheaper airfares
Save on your next flight by buying at the right time of week, and don't wait to pay baggage fees.
Also:
Expert: Economy will leave some behind
Though the recovery is in full swing, one analyst has some really bad news for the unemployed.
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Where housing markets are set to recover
Home values in most of the nation’s metro areas look stagnant — except for these places.
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Religious Quotes
- Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
- ~ George Carlin
Odds and Sods
Odds and Sods
In Cop News
One of the California transit cops involved in killing un-armed man at subway station is fired after a year and a half of paid leave
Judge orders California sheriff's department to stop keeping secret names of officers involved in controversial shootings
Connecticut police sergeant demoted 2nd time over ignoring 9-1-1 call
New Hampshire police chief gets four years for embezzling funds from food drive
A Fish Story
This is NOT a fish story!
This is a new record Northern Pike in Canada.
He caught it on Turtle Lake.
Check this out ... the man (in the photos below), was fishing and caught a 36" Pike.
As he was reeling it in a 55" - 56lb Pike tried to eat it!
He landed them both in the same net.


This is a new record Northern Pike in Canada.
He caught it on Turtle Lake.
Check this out ... the man (in the photos below), was fishing and caught a 36" Pike.
As he was reeling it in a 55" - 56lb Pike tried to eat it!
He landed them both in the same net.



Disorder in the Court
"Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History", by Charles M. Sevilla.
I'm sure you may have seen them before, but what the hell . . .
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year.
I'm sure you may have seen them before, but what the hell . . .
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year.
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