These six subjects are the best bet for job security, according to a survey of recruiters.
Also: 
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The best way to boost finances
This step is much more effective than looking for ways to pinch pennies.
Also: U.S. sues banking giant
Deutsche Bank is accused of unfairly sticking American taxpayers with a monster tab.
Also: Second Sony hacker attack
Personal data from 25 million gamers may have been taken in another security breach.
Also: 
Cutting costs by $14,000
This 28-year-old slashed his housing and entertainment costs, but still has fun.
Also: Raise your credit score at any age
The best ways to build excellent credit are much different in your 20s than in your 50s.
Also: 
The ten biggest auto insurance myths
You may not be covered if your vehicle gets damaged, stolen, or vandalized.
Also: Ralph Lauren's vintage cars
Ralph Lauren's rare collection features a 1929 Bentley Blower that was an early James Bond ride.
Also: The Unknown Second Kremlin In Moscow
In ancient times every Russian town had its own kremlin that protected it from enemies. A kremlin was a fortress, usually located at a strategic point along a river and separated from the surrounding parts of the city by a wall with ramparts, moat, towers, and battlements.
Nowadays Russia has about 20 of such historic and cultural buildings that are not just military fortresses but also great architectural complexes with temples, palaces and halls. Everybody knows about the famous Moscow Kremlin but there's a second one called the Izmailovo Kremlin.
Edinburgh pavement cafes told to carry out wind assessments every morning
It is probably not the first priority for a busy restaurant or bar manager trying to get ready for a day's business. But those who operate pavement cafes in Edinburgh are being told by council safety chiefs that they have to carry out a full "wind assessment" every morning. Information has to also be on display within the premises for staff showing at what wind speed they would have to bring in parasols, gazebos and canopies. They then need to check weather forecasts to ensure that winds are not expected to rise above the safe level.
The rules have been sent to businesses that apply for table and chair permits and have been labelled a "needless paper-filing" exercise. Patrick Browne, chief executive of the Scottish Beer and Pub Association, said: "This is council bureaucracy gone mad. This seems to be more about the council making work for itself than it is about public safety."
Each operator also needs to either buy an anemometer or ask staff to judge wind speed themselves using a chart drawn up by council officials. The chart says that a "strong breeze", of 25-31mph, can be indicated by "larger tree branches moving", while a gale, at 39-46mph, would be indicated by "whole trees in motion and resistance felt when walking against the wind".
Malcolm Duck, chairman of the Edinburgh Restaurateurs' Association, said: "It is like a Monty Python sketch. Right now is a time the council should be encouraging businesses, not putting obstacles in their way." A council spokesman said: "This is about raising awareness of the need to plan ahead, ensuring that any temporary structure be properly constructed and suitable measures taken to mitigate against the dangers of high winds."
The rules have been sent to businesses that apply for table and chair permits and have been labelled a "needless paper-filing" exercise. Patrick Browne, chief executive of the Scottish Beer and Pub Association, said: "This is council bureaucracy gone mad. This seems to be more about the council making work for itself than it is about public safety."
Each operator also needs to either buy an anemometer or ask staff to judge wind speed themselves using a chart drawn up by council officials. The chart says that a "strong breeze", of 25-31mph, can be indicated by "larger tree branches moving", while a gale, at 39-46mph, would be indicated by "whole trees in motion and resistance felt when walking against the wind".
Malcolm Duck, chairman of the Edinburgh Restaurateurs' Association, said: "It is like a Monty Python sketch. Right now is a time the council should be encouraging businesses, not putting obstacles in their way." A council spokesman said: "This is about raising awareness of the need to plan ahead, ensuring that any temporary structure be properly constructed and suitable measures taken to mitigate against the dangers of high winds."
***
Editor's Note: In American English the term 'Pavement' is called 'Sidewalk'.
Jail for 'alien leader from planet Sci Fi'
A knife-wielding drunk in Nelson, Lancashire who threatened police and the public told officers he was a leader of a group of aliens from a planet called Sci Fi, a court heard. David Hopwood was so aggressive and ignoring warnings to disarm that police used a Taser gun.
He was arrested and taken to hospital. On the way, he told police he was not from earth and, they would say, seemed to genuinely believe what he was telling them. Hopwood claimed aliens spoke to him through the television and his head and wanted the officers killed.
Burnley Crown Court was told how the defendant had a long history of alcohol abuse and, as a result, suffered drink-induced psychosis. He had earlier been referred to the mental health team, but had still been drinking and had been violent towards those trying to help him.
The defendant (47), of Fir Street, Nelson, had been convicted of affray on March 14th and had been committed for sentence by magistrates. He was jailed for a year.
He was arrested and taken to hospital. On the way, he told police he was not from earth and, they would say, seemed to genuinely believe what he was telling them. Hopwood claimed aliens spoke to him through the television and his head and wanted the officers killed.
Burnley Crown Court was told how the defendant had a long history of alcohol abuse and, as a result, suffered drink-induced psychosis. He had earlier been referred to the mental health team, but had still been drinking and had been violent towards those trying to help him.
The defendant (47), of Fir Street, Nelson, had been convicted of affray on March 14th and had been committed for sentence by magistrates. He was jailed for a year.
Sam’s Club Finds Out Hispanic Hate Can be Costly
Photo Credits: Sam's Club - California
The Equal Opportunity Employment Commission (EEOC) has leveled a $440,000 against Sam’s Club for allowing Hispanic employees to be racially targeted and harassed.
Several Mexican-American employees of the Sam’s Club of Fresno, California went to management to complain about daily verbal insults that consisted of being called “fuckin wetback” and threats to call immigration.
All the Latino employees that were complaining have legal status to be in the country.
After filing the complaints the Latino employees suffered more indignities and harassment that included being screamed at for their inability to speak proper English.
The EEOC has mandated that Sam’s Club, in addition to paying the fine, review their work policies and discrimination complaint procedures.
Deaf-mute friends stabbed at bar after sign language mistaken for gang gestures
Two hearing-impaired men are recovering after police say their mode of communication was mistaken for gang signs. The incident occurred at the Ocean's Eleven Lounge, Hallandale Beach, Florida, early on Saturday morning. Thirty-one-year-old Alfred Stewart of Miramar went to the lounge to celebrate a friend's birthday. For Stewart, who is deaf and mute, sign language is his only mode of communication. "Only sign language. That's the only way all of them, they do sign language," said Stewart's mother, Brenda Stewart.
According to Hallandale Beach Police, 45-year-old Barbara Lee confronted Stewart and his friends, because she thought they were throwing gang signs at her. Lee threw up gang signs at the victims, who motioned for Lee to leave them alone. The police report said Lee left the bar, but returned with a juvenile and 19-year-old Marco Ibanez, who allegedly pulled out a knife and stabbed the victims. "The suspect obtained two other suspects, they came inside the bar and started fighting with our hearing-impaired victims," said Hallandale Beach Police Officer Sonia Quinones.
"They all were doing hand signs, and it went as if someone thought it was a gang sign," said Brenda Stewart. "He got stabbed, and the other one was cut up. His friend got cut, and he got stabbed. Another one of his friends was talking to the other guy, must have been trying to let the other guy know that it was just talk, and he tried to stop the other people from fighting, and the guy came from behind him and stabbed him, so he doesn't know who it was that stabbed him or nothing. Stabbed him in his back."
Four people, including Stewart, one of his friends and a bouncer at the lounge, were taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood. They are recovering from their injuries. Quinones said, "We have two victims that were stabbed with a knife in the torso area, non-life-threatening injuries. They were taken to the hospital. Another individual that was struck multiple times, one of the bouncers from the bar who attempted to intervene and was struck on the head with a bottle." Lee, Ibanez and the juvenile suspect are currently in police custody.
According to Hallandale Beach Police, 45-year-old Barbara Lee confronted Stewart and his friends, because she thought they were throwing gang signs at her. Lee threw up gang signs at the victims, who motioned for Lee to leave them alone. The police report said Lee left the bar, but returned with a juvenile and 19-year-old Marco Ibanez, who allegedly pulled out a knife and stabbed the victims. "The suspect obtained two other suspects, they came inside the bar and started fighting with our hearing-impaired victims," said Hallandale Beach Police Officer Sonia Quinones.
"They all were doing hand signs, and it went as if someone thought it was a gang sign," said Brenda Stewart. "He got stabbed, and the other one was cut up. His friend got cut, and he got stabbed. Another one of his friends was talking to the other guy, must have been trying to let the other guy know that it was just talk, and he tried to stop the other people from fighting, and the guy came from behind him and stabbed him, so he doesn't know who it was that stabbed him or nothing. Stabbed him in his back."
Four people, including Stewart, one of his friends and a bouncer at the lounge, were taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood. They are recovering from their injuries. Quinones said, "We have two victims that were stabbed with a knife in the torso area, non-life-threatening injuries. They were taken to the hospital. Another individual that was struck multiple times, one of the bouncers from the bar who attempted to intervene and was struck on the head with a bottle." Lee, Ibanez and the juvenile suspect are currently in police custody.
The geekiest holidays
You don't need a light saber to join this week's celebrations of nerdiness — but it helps.
Also: 
The Science Of Firewalking
What draws people to communal rituals has long been a topic of interest to sociologists and anthropologists.
What draws people to a communal ritual like walking on hot coals is a topic of interest for, well, everyone.
What draws people to a communal ritual like walking on hot coals is a topic of interest for, well, everyone.
The 50 Worst Fails in Technology History
From to Google Wave to the Microsoft KIN, we have seen lots of failed technology in recent years. However nothing seems as doomed to fail as “The Wearable Computer.”
Check out this list of the 50 Worst Fails in Technology History here.
Top 10 Ways Your Brain Is Sabotaging You (And How To Beat It)
An unexamined brain is a tricky thing to carry around.You've got unintentional biases, marketing weaknesses, 'overclocking' issues, and all kinds of other mental bugs you may not know about.
Here's a helpful list of the mind's weird ways.
A 2,000-Year-Old Roman ship Unearthed
Measuring 36 feet in length, the ship is the largest ever excavated near the ruins of Ostia Antica, a port city near the mouth of the Tiber River that rivals the riches of Pompeii. So far, only the right side of the ship is visible. Remains of ropes, used by the ancient Roman sailors, are beginning to emerge.
***
Editor's Note: This is a repost of sorts with more details.
Ancient 'Nutcracker Man' really ate grass
After a half-century of referring to an ancient pre-human as "Nutcracker Man" because of his large teeth and powerful jaw, scientists now conclude that he actually chewed grasses instead.
The Weirdest Theory In The World
It is a terrestrial paradise where the original Garden of Eden is located today, where the Lost Tribes of Israel live, where the Lost Viking Colonies of Greenland migrated to, where vanquished Germans migrated to after World War II, where flying saucers come from, where people live to be hundreds of years old in perfect health, and where Heaven is located.
Cat's Eye nebula
From APOD:
A classic planetary nebula, the Cat's Eye (NGC 6543) represents a final, brief yet glorious phase in the life of a sun-like star. This nebula's dying central star may have produced the simple, outer pattern of dusty concentric shells by shrugging off outer layers in a series of regular convulsions. But the formation of the beautiful, more complex inner structures is not well understood. Seen so clearly in this sharp Hubble Space Telescope image, the truly cosmic eye is over half a light-year across.
Your Age on Other Planets
If I lived on Neptune I would be less than a Neptune year old, how old would you be? This nifty calculator allows you to figure out your “age” on different planets (including dwarf planet Pluto). Every grade school student knows we measure years by how long it takes the Earth to travel around the Sun. However it’s interesting to think how time measurement would be different if we lived on a world like Mercury that takes only 88 Earth days to travel around the sun.
Grand Canyon Born by Continental Lift
Geologists have wondered about the high plateau ever since early explorers stood on the edge of the Grand Canyon.
Stop Insulting Your Companion Animals by Calling Them "Pets"!
And you call yourself an "animal lover". How could you demean your "companion animals" by continuing to call them "pets". I mean really.Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as “companion animals” while owners should be known as “human carers”, they insist.The editors, Professors Andrew Linzey and Priscilla Cohn of Penn State University, added more offensive phrases of the English language that need to be stamped out:
Even terms such as wildlife are dismissed as insulting to the animals concerned – who should instead be known as “free-living”, the academics including an Oxford professor suggest.
The call comes from the editors of then Journal of Animal Ethics, a new academic publication devoted to the issue.
Phrases such as “sly as a fox, “eat like a pig” or “drunk as a skunk” are all unfair to animals, they claim.
“We shall not be able to think clearly unless we discipline ourselves to use less than partial adjectives in our exploration of animals and our moral relations with them," they say.
Portrait of Father
The Secret to Saving Koalas Could be as Simple as Planting Trees
Photo credit: Rennett Stowe/
Though koalas are not considered threatened by the IUCN or the Australian government, populations across the species native range have been in decline for years. The situation in New South Wales, in particular, is severe.In one town—Gunnedah—the koala population is actually increasing. This anomaly, one recent study suggests, may provide clues for protection the species across Australia.
Article continues: Secret to Saving Koalas Could be as Simple as Planting Trees
Birds Fly Farther North as Winter Temperatures Rise
Photo: Kelly Colgan Azar / cc
In recent decades, birdwatchers in North Carolina have had to travel farther and farther north to catch a glimpse of their beloved wrens and waxwings, and scientists suggest that changes in the climate could be to blame for the birds' relocation in the winter. According to researchers, many birds species that were once common in the region around Charlotte have moved northward as temperatures in the region continue to increase -- on average, a whopping 116 miles away -- but global warming may not be the only reason why.Article continues: Birds Fly Farther North as Winter Temperatures Rise
Climate Change to Push Brown Recluse Spiders Across North America
Photo credit: br-recluse-guy via Wikimedia/Public Domain
The brown recluse spider occupies an ominous station in American folklore -- it's bite, we're told on schoolyard playgrounds, is even deadlier than a black widow's! (Indeed, on very rare occasions, the bite of a brown recluse can be deadly) And it currently occupies the Southeastern quadrant of the US -- from around Texas to southern Iowa to Kentucky. But a study finds that a warming climate may render some of its southern homes inhospitable, and force it to spread across the nation to beat the heat. Article continues: Climate Change to Push Brown Recluse Spiders Across North America
An Epidemic Among Amphibians
A deadly and contagious disease is wiping out amphibians around the world.
Although there is no cure, scientists know how it spread.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Justice has been done ...
Osama bin Laden Is DEAD!
The terrorist leader responsible for 9/11, Osama bin Laden, has reportedly been killed by the U.S. military.
Also: 
Jubilant Americans gather to celebrate as details emerge about the Sept. 11 mastermind’s death.
Also: 
The president says the terrorist leader responsible for the 9/11 attack was killed in Pakistan.
Also: 
"Justice has been done..."
~ President Barak Obama announcing Osama bin Laden is dead
***
Editorial Note:"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure"
~ Mark Twain
Better late then never ...
Sorry to be a mite late with this but the timing of our publishing schedule and life in general has kept us from posting the happy news above until now.
Osama Bin Laden Beats Federal Criminal Rap Thanks To Intercession of CIA, U.S. Military
Thanks to the efforts of an elite team of American forces, Osama bin Laden will soon have criminal charges formally dismissed against him in federal court in New York City.
The Daily Drift
The Daily Drift
Today's horoscope says:There's no time like the present to start working on your future!
Think about where you want to go, and start making a plan -- this includes vacation spots and family reunions.
If someone else is trying to influence your choices, this is a good time to take back control and remind yourself that, ultimately, you're in charge of your own life.
Get back in touch with your independence by working out a solo vacation or at least some leisurely alone time soon.
Some of our readers today have been in:
London, England, United Kingdom
Santiago, Region Metropolitana, Chile
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, Netherlands
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Pinneburg, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Rome, Lazio, Italy
Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei and Muara, Brunei Darussalam
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu, India
Tangerang, Banten, Indonesia
Weert, Limburg, Netherlands
Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Moscow, Moskva, Russia
Madrid, Madrid, Spain
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
Santiago, Region Metropolitana, Chile
Paris, Ile-De-France, France
Amsterdam, Noord-Holland, Netherlands
Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Kuala Lumpur, Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia
Dublin, Dublin, Ireland
Pinneburg, Schleswig-Holstein, Germany
Rome, Lazio, Italy
Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei and Muara, Brunei Darussalam
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu, India
Tangerang, Banten, Indonesia
Weert, Limburg, Netherlands
Berlin, Berlin, Germany
Moscow, Moskva, Russia
Madrid, Madrid, Spain
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
Sydney, New South Wales, Australia
as well as Slovakia, Malta, Bulgaria, Israel, Finland, Austria, Norway, Georgia, Mexico, Peru, Kuwait, Serbia, Bangladesh, Latvia, Greece, Scotland, Hong Kong, Denmark, Wales, Iran, Singapore, Poland, Taiwan, Sweden, Afghanistan, Belgium, Tibet, Croatia, Pakistan, Romania, Paraguay, Sudan, Vietnam, Argentina, Cambodia, Egypt, France, Estonia, Puerto Rico, Maldives, Qatar, Brazil, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, Slovenia, China, Iraq, Ecuador, Nigeria, Colombia, Chile, Honduras, Paupa New Guinea, Moldova, Venezuela, Germany, Mexico, Saudi Arabia, Ireland, Czech Republic, Vietnam, Norway, Finland
and in cities across the United States such as Tionesta, Commerce City, Lodi, Tullahoma and more.
and in cities across the United States such as Tionesta, Commerce City, Lodi, Tullahoma and more.
Today is:
Today is Monday, May 2, the 122nd day of 2011.
There are 243 days left in the year.
Today's unusual holiday or celebration is:
National Play Your Ukulele Day.
Don't forget to visit our sister blog!
Man unknowingly liveblogs Bin Laden operation
A computer programmer, startled by a helicopter clattering above his quiet Pakistani town in the early hours of the morning Monday, did what any social-media addict would do: he began sending messages to the social networking site Twitter.
With his tweets, 33-year-old Sohaib Athar, who moved to the sleepy town of Abbottabad to escape the big city, became in his own words "the guy who liveblogged the Osama raid without knowing it."
Soon the sole helicopter multiplied into several and gunfire and explosions rocked the air above the town, and Athar's tweets quickly garnered 14,000 followers as he apparently became the first in the world to describe the U.S. operation to kill one of the world's most wanted militants.
His first tweet was innocuous: "Helicopter hovering above Abbottabad at 1AM (is a rare event)."
The noise alarmed Athar, who had moved to the upscale area of Abbottabad to get away from city life after his wife and child were badly injured in a car accident in the sprawling city of Lahore, according to his blog in July.
Nestled in the mountains around 60 miles (95 kilometers) northeast of the capital, Abbottabad is a quiet, leafy town featuring a military academy, the barracks for three army regiments and even its own golf course.
As the operation to kill Osama Bin Laden unfolded, Athar "liveblogged" what he was hearing in real time, describing windows rattling as bombs exploded.
He questioned whose helicopters might be flying overhead. "The few people online at this time of the night are saying one of the copters was not Pakistani," he tweeted.
Athar then said one of the aircraft appeared to have been shot down. Two more helicopters rushed in, he reported.
Throughout the battle, he related the rumors swirling through town: it was a training accident. Somebody was killed. The aircraft might be a drone. The army was conducting door-to-door searches in the surrounding area. The sound of an airplane could be heard overhead.
Athar did not respond to media requests for comment - he explained in another tweet that a filter he set up to stop his e-mail box from flooding could be culling out requests for interviews.
Soon, however, the rumbling of international events far beyond the confines of this quiet upscale suburb began to dawn on Athar, and he realized what he might be witnessing.
"I think the helicopter crash in Abbottabad, Pakistan and the President Obama breaking news address are connected," he tweeted.
Eight hours and about 35 tweets later, the confirmation came: "Osama Bin Laden killed in Abbottabad, Pakistan," Athar reported. "There goes the neighborhood."
With his tweets, 33-year-old Sohaib Athar, who moved to the sleepy town of Abbottabad to escape the big city, became in his own words "the guy who liveblogged the Osama raid without knowing it."
Soon the sole helicopter multiplied into several and gunfire and explosions rocked the air above the town, and Athar's tweets quickly garnered 14,000 followers as he apparently became the first in the world to describe the U.S. operation to kill one of the world's most wanted militants.
His first tweet was innocuous: "Helicopter hovering above Abbottabad at 1AM (is a rare event)."
The noise alarmed Athar, who had moved to the upscale area of Abbottabad to get away from city life after his wife and child were badly injured in a car accident in the sprawling city of Lahore, according to his blog in July.
Nestled in the mountains around 60 miles (95 kilometers) northeast of the capital, Abbottabad is a quiet, leafy town featuring a military academy, the barracks for three army regiments and even its own golf course.
As the operation to kill Osama Bin Laden unfolded, Athar "liveblogged" what he was hearing in real time, describing windows rattling as bombs exploded.
He questioned whose helicopters might be flying overhead. "The few people online at this time of the night are saying one of the copters was not Pakistani," he tweeted.
Athar then said one of the aircraft appeared to have been shot down. Two more helicopters rushed in, he reported.
Throughout the battle, he related the rumors swirling through town: it was a training accident. Somebody was killed. The aircraft might be a drone. The army was conducting door-to-door searches in the surrounding area. The sound of an airplane could be heard overhead.
Athar did not respond to media requests for comment - he explained in another tweet that a filter he set up to stop his e-mail box from flooding could be culling out requests for interviews.
Soon, however, the rumbling of international events far beyond the confines of this quiet upscale suburb began to dawn on Athar, and he realized what he might be witnessing.
"I think the helicopter crash in Abbottabad, Pakistan and the President Obama breaking news address are connected," he tweeted.
Eight hours and about 35 tweets later, the confirmation came: "Osama Bin Laden killed in Abbottabad, Pakistan," Athar reported. "There goes the neighborhood."
Obama mocks Trump at dinner
The president exacts comic revenge on the Donald at the annual journalists' event.
Also: 
Donald Trump razzed online and on Twitter after Obama's bin Laden announcement
Online news site NMA News, which spoofs current news in videos that use Sims-style animation, wasted no time with one of the biggest news stories of the year: the killing of Al-Qaida chief Osama bin Laden in a raid by U.S. Special Forces troops.
Media multitasking is really multi-distracting
Multitaskers who think they can successfully divide their attention between the program on their television set and the information on their computer screen proved to be driven to distraction by the two devices …
Being a Grandparent
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye!!
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.'
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
raspberries in the woods.'
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?'
I mentally polished my halo and I said, 'No, how are we alike?'
'You're both old,' he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied, 'I can't read.
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!'
8. Wh en my grandson Melvin and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.'
'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm four to six.'
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.'
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's
interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?'
''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'
11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'He's just for good luck.'
A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants!
Driver In Fatal St. Cloud Chase Charged With Murder
A man accused of fleeing police last month and crashing his vehicle in Waite Park is now charged with two counts of third-degree murder.
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