Welcome to ...

The place where the world comes together in honesty and mirth.
Windmills Tilted, Scared Cows Butchered, Lies Skewered on the Lance of Reality ... or something to that effect.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

It's all about Mac Duff


Just got in from taking Alistair Mac Duff to the vet for his annual physical. He was his typical self when we started out - bouncing off everything and running like he could outrun greased lightning (and you know what, he most likely can, never seen an animal move like he does).

But after he suffered the humiliation of the nurse poking a rod up his arse for the fecal test and the Vet herself doing the ol'Rectal for his prostate exam he was the picture of mellow - sulking even.

Prior to the actual exam he was the meeter and greeter for all who came in the door and he 'french kissed' everyone who would let him - damned lover boy that he is.

This dog is our new child (well teenager now in dog years) and is spoiled so rotten he stinks even without his passing one of his infamous S.B.D's, (Silent But Deadly's), which he loves to do right in his mother's face. He jumps up in the Mrs., lap and crawls onto her left breast (it has to be the left one), and lays down to snuggle and just as he relaxes he turns his posterior up to her face and the next thing you know he is airborne. When lits on the floor he turns his head up to look at her as if to say "What did I do?". All the while cutting his eye over to me and I swear there is a smirk on his face and the look of devilment in his eyes.

Jack Russells are a trip and in case I get too blown away by his antics I have my two Black Labs outside, then again they are just as zany.
I'll tell some Seamus Mac Lesh and Angus Mac Dougall stories later.

Never been a Mariah Carey fan, but anyone who loves their Jack Russell can't be all bad. And the shot above reminds me of the Mrs., and Mac Duff in the swimming pool.

And I Quote

When the state is most corrupt, then the laws are most multiplied.

~Tacitus

Daily Funny


I don't think they meant to imply what they are implying, but the 'ladies' down the street at the "massage" parlor (aka: the Day Spa), aren't too happy with the competition!

Going to Grandfather


We have just decided to attend the Highland Games this Saturday. We normally don't go to these games as they have gotten so bloody crowded, but this year we said why not, so we'll see how long it takes to make the 20 minute drive from Boone, NC to Linville, NC ... last we heard it was over 3 hours on the weekend of the games.

We plan on making it a LOOOONG day of it so that day the morning funny and night funny may be the only postings here, but who knows.

If you have never seen or ever heard of the Scots Highland Games you have been cheated. They are held around the world, year round (more on the two local ones later ... there are 6 other Games in NC, I can think of off the top of may head.).

You can find out more about the Grandfather Mountain Games and all the other Games worldwide and find the closest to you with a simple web search ... it will be worth it.

As we Scots say "If tis nae Scots, tis Crap!"

Carolina Renaissance Festival



Have you ever been to a Renaissance Faire?
If not, this fall beginning in October is your chance to get in on the fun when the Carolina Renaissance Festival opens. Spend the day frolicking with Lords and Ladies, dirt-sucking peasants, the odd wood nymph or two. Eat one of those famous turkey legs and see the shows. Make all my hard work pay off.
Being on the production end the Faire has been going for me since close of the festival last year and has kicked into high gear in the last three weeks and its still 12 weeks until it opens to the public again this year. Whew!

For more information call 704-896-5555
or visit us on the web at royalfaires.com







Morning Funny

Seventy-five percent of statisticians are 90% confident 52% of the time.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

And I Quote

War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed class think they are going to profit from it.

~ George Orwell

Night Funny

My wife never tells me what to do.

Usually, she just points!

Fortune Cookie Say ...

That might just be a wee bit to a Fortune Cookie and its "fortune" for you, because in the last 3 weeks each time I haven eaten at the "Great Wok" I have received the same fortune (and you cannot tell me that it is not against the odds, even if there only 10 "fortunes" and each one repeated 100 times in a case of cookies, the odds of my receiving the same one every time I go into the place are almost nill, what with the volume of business the place does.).

What is that "fortune" you ask?

Well, I don't think it is so much a "fortune" but a comment on my character ...

For the last 5 times I have received the following:

You have inexhaustible wisdom and power!

It's true, I do! (And a keen sense of self depreciating humor to go along with it!)

Maybe it's time for a second honeymoon?


Funny thing is I was thinking about just such a thing when I ran across this cartoon!
The second honeymoon part ... not the "with who" part.

Enough


It's time to take the coats and hats off and get down to business!

Busy Day

It has been a busy day so far and I am glad I am on "vacation" now. Helping my friend out at his butcher shop is hard work and starting to cut steaks at 6AM is insane ... by noon you are wore out. But today was my day to be insane and start cutting steaks at 6AM. This is after I had taken care of the animals on the farm. Now a massive thunderstorm is just finishing ... I think ... there is a second set of rumbling thunder rolling in behind the set leaving. We'll see, but at damn near 100 degrees any cooling is welcomed.

Morning Funny

Never eat more than you can lift.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Gratuitous Attitude

Random Thoughts

Have you ever noticed the vibrant colors and crisp sounds after a thunderstorm?

Why is it that two twentysomethings don't know and much as one fortysomething?

If we know the speed of light, then why hasn't the speed of dark been calculated?

Why are Yellow Freight trucks painted orange?

Why is it when a woman is caught unawares naked she always covers her eyes and breasts first?

Which smells better ... fresh cut grass or fresh turned earth?

Which really did come first ... the chicken or the egg?

Why is space so big?

Why do they call it "choking the chicken"?

Night Funny

A vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer!

The Upper Crust

The upper crust are those high society people we read about. The get their label from the ancient etiquette rule that granted the flavored top crust of a loaf of bread to the king or senior-ranked person at the table.

Top crust bah, I want the whole loaf!

Daily Funny

Gun Nuts

Why is it that those who do not understand the law are forever screaming about 'their rights'?

Case in point ... those who rant and rave about their right to own any gun they want because the 2nd Amendment to the Constitution says so.

It doesn't, but that fact seems to elude their cognitive awareness .

Last evening on another forum there was a raging tirade all evening long from the 'gun nuts' who completely missed the point time and again and disrupted the discussion being held by those that actually do know what the 2nd Amendment says and means ... and who had quite a humorous exchange going to boot.

They howled that "we were trying to take their guns away from them". That was not the discussion, but as I have thought on it, maybe those howling such drivel should have no access to firearms as their ravings indicate a serious lack of reasoning ... and as the Constitution requires regulation of "arms" it would behoove us to remove the possibility of those ranters to be able to use something that is and can be very harmful when their demonstrated lack of discernment has already proven their inability to use them.

Part of the non-ranting discussion was about forming a national education and training organization in the use of firearms (something the NRA was originally formed for and was, that is until it became the Cult it is now). This is a good idea. How to get it started is the biggest hurdle and to insure it doesn't morph into a cult like the NRA has.

So to all you gun nuts out there, the more you howl about 'your rights' which don't exist except in your fevered imaginations, the more you push reasonable people to consider to further regulate firearms to the point of you being unable to own one. Because those that cannot reason are barred from gun ownership now and all it would take is for you to be declared unfit due to lack of reasoning ability (read: mentally disturbed), and your ' imagined right' as well as your privilege of firearms ownership will vanish right before your eyes.

Morning Funny

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet!