Hillbilly White Trash

Just read a huge load of offal by an idiot calling himself Lemuel Calhoun on his blog entitled "Hillbilly White Trash".

The blog title says it all, it was a putrid morass of inarticulate ravings and lunatic ramblings of a homicidal inbred waste of carbon.

Wonder why it is the most indecent, perverted unintelligent ones all loudly proclaim to be the decent, non-perverse, intelligent ones? Remember the "immoral minority" who called themselves the 'moral majority' ... over compensating they were and this cockjolly is definitely "compensating".
Expressing his desire to throw all Liberals on a bonfire and then sit down to an evening of wine and music without a care.

He strikes me as a very tiny man (definitely mentally and likely physically), suffering from 'Little Man Syndrome' with 'Little Dick Syndrome' complications.

Good Old Days

Remember the good old days when you drove up to the pump and three guys came out to you and one pumped your gas, one washed your windshield and checked your tire's air pressure while the other one checked your oil and radiator water level, all for 35 cents a gallon.

Life is Blonde

Did you here about the young blonde you didn't change her baby's diaper for three weeks because the box said up to 15 pounds.

Night Funny

Everybody has one ... the busy-body mother-in-law.

Well a young bride had hers and her new husbands mother would drop in at any time and try to run her household. One day as usual the mother -in-law shows up and lets herself in.
However she stops as soon as she opens the door for there was her daughter-in-law standing just inside wearing a smile and nothing else.
A smile that quickly turned to a frown as she saw it was 'Mom'.
As she saw her daughter-in-law the old woman said, "What are you doing?!"
The which her daughter-in-law replied, "I am waiting for my husband ... YOUR son to come home.
"But, You're naked!", 'Mom' gasped.
"This is me 'Love Dress'", replied the young woman, "and my husband likes my love dress and it makes him happy to see me in it, which makes me happy."
Continuing she said, "In fact he is due any moment and I would like it if you were not here when he gets here."
Well, 'Mom' leaves in a huff, stewing about being sent away.
She gets home and stews about the encounter with her daughter-in-law for a few days and thinks about that 'love dress' more and more until she feels a bit horny herself and vows to do the same thing the next day when her husband came home from work.
So, the next day she stood just inside the front door nude and when her husband opened the door and saw her he said, "Why are you naked?'
To which she replied, "This is my love dress!"
With a raised eyebrow he said, "Needs ironing."

No Nonsense Judge

I wrote on the Vick thing on my sister Blog because the language I used was inappropriate for the delicate of nature that read this Blog.

But the announcement that Micheal Vick and his co-indictees will face U.S. District Judge Henry E. Hudson for their court proceedings makes it possible to write here and not have to redact every word or at least every other word! Hudson is known for being a fair judge and hearing all sides in a case. He is also known for taking no guff from anyone in the courtroom and for handling cases swiftly. More importantly here he is known for imposing the hardest penalties he is allowed to upon any convicted of the charges against them when facing him ... which means here ... 6 years in federal prison (there is no parole in the federal system), and the 350K fine for each defendant.

That is too soft, way too soft, they should be rubbed down with liver pate and put in the pit with the dogs ... then see if they can elude the dogs, especially Vick who's supposed elusiveness and speed are extra ordinary ... pun intended.

Band Reunited

Just got off the phone with someone I haven't spoken to in 40 years. Damn, that's a long time! Mitchell and I were two of the best guitars players ever (or at least we thought so at the time) and our high school band ... not the marching kind, either ... was pretty darn good. We played the standard covers of the day as well as our own stuff, more so our own stuff which around here was something as every other band I can remember was strictly a cover band.

The music scene was up and coming over the horizon though and a few younger bands made it nationally and internationally in the years after our band parted for various endeavors. I went into the Corps and then to college until I received my PhDs (yes the 's' is correct); Mitchell went into the business world working for his father; Jason went straight to college and died of a drug overdose his freshman year; Susan got married to Eric and both are now grandparents as well.

The trip down nostalgia lane took six hours ... we had a lot to catch up on. But it boiled down to him wanting to get the band together to play for the next class reunion. I am not sold on the idea just yet, but I like the idea ... show those young whipper-snappers we 'fossils' can kick out the jams. Trouble is I haven't picked up any of my guitars in going on 19 years, as a matter of fact I sold all of them but one and my brother has it at the moment. Also without Jason we don't have a keyboard player, well we do but not like him. Susan and Eric want to, so I might as well do it too.

It would be good to hear the shout "Monarch Rules!" again as we knock their socks off.

Now if somebody will get me my Geritol!

Lavender and Chamomile

Lavender and chamomile are truly two relaxing scents. I placed a bottle of both oils combined by my computer and along with my various teas, I have a quite and calm place to read the news and check in on the world. I would say to anyone, 'try the scents of lavender and chamomile' and you can feel the stresses melting away. As for your choice of tea I leave that you.

Night Funny

Sign explaining the mechanics of sex at a Math Geek's Convention reads:

1d plus 1c equals 1B
or
d+c=B

Real Age

I took one of those online 'test' yesterday ... yeah I know, but it was fun.
This one took your chronological age and calculated your "Real Age" using health and lifestyle as a means of analysis.
Using a whole lot of different aspects of my health and lifestyle it said while my 'calendar' age is 56.6 years my "real" age is 38.3 years.
Wow, damn near twenty years younger! I can live with that.

You know there might be something to that old adage "You're only as young as you feel" after all?!

Nordmannen Omgangssprak

Motte en fyren naturlig pa sykehuslege dags dato.
Vi var snakker om mange ting og komme til fine ut han har nert det identisk utdanning pedagogisk miljoet.
Idet det ma du gjerne ha gjettet han er Norsk siden JEG bruker nordmannen omgangssprak i denne stolpe.
Det er virkelig forbloffende det to mannskap fra to annerledes land ha faktisk det interesserer og oppdrasselse.

Glede seg over snakker med du dags dato, Arie.

(English Translation for non-Nordmann sprakerer, with apologies for the lacking grammer in the post above)

Met a fellow naturist on the internet today.
We were chatting about many things and come to find out he has almost the identical educational background.
As you may have guessed he is Norwegian since I am using the Norwegian language in this post.
It is truly amazing that two men from two different countries have virtually the same interests and education.

Enjoyed chatting with you today, Arial.

The Gathering

The first Gathering of the Clans to be held in Scotland since the Battle at Culloden in 1748 will be on the weekend of July 25 - 26, 2009. Be there.
Make your plans to be in Edinburgh, Scotland as the Tartan banners fly in the wind for the first time en masse in over two hundred years.

When the Tartans flew the English quivered with fright
struck dumb with fear at the sight.
They trembled at the Flower of Alba's might
for the wrongs they would put to right!

To find out more details you can contact Lord Sempill, Director of the Gathering, at:

The Gathering 2009 Ltd.
27 Queen Charlotte Street
Edinburgh EH6 6AX, Scotland
Telephone: +44131-561-1323
Email: lucy-rose@thegathering2009.com or info@thegathering2009.com
Website: www.thegathering2009.com

See you there!
Suas Alba!

Dental Cleaning

Spent some time in the Dentist's chair today getting the pearlies all to gleaming.
I forget how much I dislike the Dentist's office between visits.
No cavities ... that is good.
New dental hygienist even better.

Actually, she isn't 'new' to me as she is the daughter of a friend who paid her way through school to this point working as a stripper and is going to work at the Dentist's office and at her old job to pay for Dental School.
Always a feisty one she greeted me with a hug and a slap on the behind (slightly non-professional for the Dentist's office, but well within norms for her other job). We talked about her as a teenager ... at least until she went to work on my mouth then she did most of the talking ... and how she was amazed she made it through them. Tell you the truth so am I.

Now she is doing well for herself and even has a girlfriend and a boyfriend ... not bad for the girl they used to tease because she was a rail and had tons of hair - she literally looked like a mop. She lied about her age when she was sixteen and began stripping to prove to all she was a girl not a "mop". And she was quite the 'novelty' at it too until she turned twenty then she as if by magic went poof and there was a drop dead gorgeous hottie standing before your eyes where a second ago was the "mop".(and no drugs or surgery did the job it was good ol'Ma Nature, what worked her magic). She then was even more popular with the club crowd.

At twenty-two she is way ahead of her teasers who she hasn't seen since high school (she even avoided some of the "guys" dancing at the clubs which is odd considering how many of them I saw going into the one she worked at - I can only guess they didn't recognize her nude, which wouldn't surprise me as they only 'saw' her as a "mop" when she was clothed anyway).

She promised to bring her girlfriend and boyfriend over to see us and to swim in our pool - remember I know her - just like she did growing up. She said she wasn't going to tell them they had to swim nude, she was just going to strip and dive in then point to the "Nude Swimming Mandatory" sign and laugh.
Better get the grill fired up because they are coming to dinner tomorrow.

And I Quote

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

~ Albert Einstein

Rabbit Day

There are some pretty odd celebrations and holidays out there. Some are downright wacky. Some I don't have a clue as to what they are about, such as "Rabbit Day" (which is today). Just what is it and why is it celebrated?

I mean doesn't everyone love a cute little bunny everyday?!

Morning Funny

Night Funny

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds!

(Written on the wall of the third stall in the Ladies room at the truck stop in Winnsboro, SC ... at least the Mrs. says it is!)

Nude Pastor

Someone asked the question, "Can a naturist be hired as a Pastor for a church?".

Simply put, Yes. Now before getting one's dander up, think about it. Many clergy are naturists just as many non-clergy are. (And the numbers would surprise you.)
Some let it be known, some do not.
Some don't care if it is known they are naturists, some do, just like non-clergy.

See the theme here?

It doesn't matter if a Pastor is a naturist or not, if they are the right person for the church in question.
But the Prunella Prudes and Pearcey Prigsniffs of the world make a big "issue" of such non-consequential things as this and therefore all suffer for it.

As an ordained minister, I find this insecurity on the part of the Prunellas and Pearceys of the world sad.
As a naturist, I find them - more so their words and actions - reprehensible.

*****

BTW, I am available to officiate weddings and hand-fastings, nude or otherwise.

Skinny Dipping Poll

The results of the Skinny Dipping poll are in and 100% of those responding said they have been skinny dipping.

Granted the poll had a low number of respondents, so the results are skewed a bit.

But I would have thought some would have answered the other two options, alas no.

I will run a similar poll in the future as the readership of this Blog (and hopefully her sister Blogs), increases so the poll will be more reflective of the true status of the idea of skinny dipping has in the general population.

While I would like to believe 100% is truly reflective and as such we have reached -Utopia, Nirvana, Shangri La, Paradise, Eden, Shambala, etc. (name your desired place) - in society, something tells me that we are not quite there just yet.

And I Quote

The power of the Executive to cast a man into prison without formulating any charge known to Law, and particularly to deny him judgment of his peers, is the highest degree of odious and it is the foundation of all Totalitarian government whether NAZI or Communist.

~ Winston Churchill
November 21, 1943

The same words could be spoken today as they are as true today as they were nearly 64 years ago. All that is required is to replace NAZI with NEO-CON to make the statement 'up to the moment'.

Morning Funny

Explaining sex at a math geeks convention:

One into One sometimes equals One